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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Athome77 · 14/06/2017 16:00

Exactly what annielouise said your pregnant and should be able to park on your drive without all this stress.

IAmNoMan · 14/06/2017 16:02

Rather than 'getting it all out' I would honestly just say 'we have no problem with you as neighbours, or your nanny, we just want to be able to get in and out of our drive unobstructed'.

That's it really isn't it? I know you've said it before but there's nothing else to say surely, the rest is just distraction that allows them to argue with you.

SaturnBelt · 14/06/2017 16:28

This ^

ButtonMooooon · 14/06/2017 16:36

Sorry for those who couldn't find the thread. There was a poster on thread 1 who said they would post the link to this thread (as I didn't know how to do it on the App) but I'm guessing they didn't get around to it.

The 1,000 and final post was at 19.23 and you started the new post at 19.37 so it was literally impossible for them to post a link Wink

redshoeblueshoe · 14/06/2017 16:39

If Mr NDN pops round you could just ask him to pop back when your Dh is there, he does sound the reasonable one.

Ceto · 14/06/2017 16:42

I would suggest that Mrs NDN and nanny should, as a minimum, be apologising to you.

rightwhine · 14/06/2017 17:02

Surely when the nanny arrived yesterday morning the NDN's would have seen where she parked?

Let DH and MrNDN do the talking. Probably best you two women are not involved. Th emotions are too high.

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 17:06

Surely when the nanny arrived yesterday morning the NDN's would have seen where she parked?

They did, and about 5 minutes after she'd arrived she went and moved it to around the corner so they'd obviously told her to.

For some reason the Nanny has arrived and has actually parked on their drive!!!!

Mrs NDN still isn't home though.

My DH is usually home for 5.30pm but he's working late tonight and won't be back until 6.30pm. I hope they don't all come round before he gets home because I'm not facing them 3 against 1.

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 14/06/2017 17:11

So she's parking properly now....do you need to discuss anything further with them?

SofiaAmes · 14/06/2017 17:13

I once had an elderly neighbor who was having some construction work done and parked her skip on the street in front of my house. And then proceeded to complain every time one of my friend parked on the street in front of her house and would come over to tell me that they needed to park in front of my house (where her skip was). Confused She never did get that her logic was flawed. Luckily this only lasted a few weeks.

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 17:14

I've certainly got nothing left to say to them yorick Smile

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 14/06/2017 17:16

If they do try to descend upon you, make sure the recorder on your phone is running.

And if they are ganging up on you/trying to make you feel in the wrong, which you are not, make sure you get yourself recorded telling them that you are 7 months pregnant and they are causing you stress with their lies and behaviour.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 14/06/2017 17:19

If nanny is parking properly, the only conversation that is needed this evening is Mrs NDN and nanny apologising to OP.
Maybe they gave nanny the day off to go and get her car fixed? Grin

RMC123 · 14/06/2017 17:23

All this recording of conversation talk...it is actually illegal in the UK to record someone without their knowledge. Police will not accept it as evidence for court. And NDN are police officers! Seems a complication and escalation that is not needed.

Nikephorus · 14/06/2017 17:27

I hope they don't all come round before he gets home because I'm not facing them 3 against 1.
"I'm sorry you'll have to come back when DH gets home. That should be around 6.30pm"
or
"I'm sorry, I'm busy at the moment. Feel free to pop back later when DH is in"
Nothing more needed. Or just don't answer. That definitely prevents conversations Grin

SkyBluePinkToday · 14/06/2017 17:27

It's not illegal to record someone without their knowledge - it's just not admissable in court.

jamie1768 · 14/06/2017 17:29

you're in the right

EZA15 · 14/06/2017 17:32

I thought it could be used if proving someone was lying therefore questioning the reliability of the person in question? (If that makes sense?) am
I completely wrong?

BewareOfDragons · 14/06/2017 17:34

It is not illegal in the UK to record your own conversation. And no, you don't have to tell them.

ColourfulOrangex · 14/06/2017 17:39

Just caught up on this, can't believe the cheek of the nanny, hope it gets sorted OP as you don't need the stress

Squishedstrawberry4 · 14/06/2017 17:42

Don't do any more apologising OP. You've been very rational considering how selfish and manipulative nanny has been

Spadequeen · 14/06/2017 17:42

Result!

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 17:54

Nanny has just left again....

She's coming and going a lot today seeing as Mr NDN is home.

Still no sign of Mrs NDN.

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 14/06/2017 17:56

"There was a poster on thread 1 who said they would post the link to this thread (as I didn't know how to do it on the App) but I'm guessing they didn't get around to it."

That was me, but by the time you started a new thread, the old thread was full, so I couldn't post on it. (Threads are closed when the reach the maximum 1000 posts.)

RMC123 · 14/06/2017 18:01

It's not illegal to record your own conversation.
Happy to apologise if I am wrong. Maybe it's a grey area as an acquaintance has been given very clear legal advice that it isn't a good idea. And in the interests of OP saying in the right and stopping the situation from spiralling any further then it doesn't seem a very smart move.
Sounds like they have got the message about the parking.

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