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AIBU?

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Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
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UrsulaPandress · 14/06/2017 11:59

Gosh. I couldn't have left the chat until later. It would spoil my day having imaginary conversations with him.

Hope you manage to have a lovely day and that the weather is as fab with you as it is with me.

SkyBluePinkToday · 14/06/2017 12:03

Good idea to stall him - he has had time to plan what he wants to say - you are entitled to the same. Nothing worse then being hijacked by someone with a prepared speech.

carbuncleonapigsposterior · 14/06/2017 12:21

The nanny's back issues which has lead to her "can't park round the corner, it's too far to walk" and her car leaking oil are not your problem. Maybe her employers could pay for her to see a chiropractor or osteopath. As far as parking her car is concerned they should be prepared to cover their drive so she can park there to ensure that she doesn't inconvenience you.

The nanny is completely unreasonable and her rationale is infantile. Ms. NDN isn't much better switching stances between "sort it out with the nanny" and when you do so getting "nanny's been intimidated". Nanny is completely intransigent and brass necked. Given you are seven months pregnant they are both causing you unncessary stress which isn't good, furthermore, your neigbour, in her professional capacity as a police officer ought to have the people skills to deflect situations such as these from escalating.

Feilin · 14/06/2017 12:23

Id be querying why she isnt getting the leak fixed.

user1487941567 · 14/06/2017 12:36

I don't really understand this because I was once towed away for parking in the same manner as your Nanny (I ran indoors for literally 5 minutes, I just had time to change the baby and leave again and my car was gone) I only parked like that as the house in question has a small area of kerb that isnt dropped between the houses that fits a small car and it seemed like the whole neighbourhood used that space just fine. But I was over by a foot (the council photos confirmed this)

So I don't understand how it is illegal where I am but no one else seems to agree.

ohfourfoxache · 14/06/2017 12:39

Definitely all 5 of you for any discussion that takes place. At the very least I think I'd insist on your DH being there- simply because Mrs NDN might think twice about spouting shit if you are not outnumbered

ShoesHaveSouls · 14/06/2017 12:46

We have had this problem with our drive, and we spoke to our PCSO about it. This is what he said:

It's not technically illegal to park over a drive, but it is against the Highway Code to obstruct an entrance or driveway.

He said if you find yourself blocked in, you can call your Council offices (and he gave us the local number) and they may arrange to have it towed away - as it is causing you an obstruction. However, this will take time obviously, and also, we never know how long they're going to be there, do we?! Sometimes it genuinely is 10mins, sometimes hours.

His advice was to put a "Please don't block driveway" "Driveway in constant use, no parking" sign up. We did, and it did help.

In our case, it is nearly always people in the pub a few doors away. We go in, the bar staff shout out, and in a couple of minutes someone sheepishly comes out and moves it.

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 14/06/2017 12:59

I truly don't understand how people can continue to cause stress and inconvience to people when the problem has been pointed out to them that is the action of an arsehole

Personally when approached this morning I would have had to say something like after last nights verbal abuse from your wife I would like my husband present, in my condition I really do not need the stress

DangerousBeanz · 14/06/2017 13:01

Enjoy your day out OP. X

FloatyCat · 14/06/2017 13:06

I would take the opportunity to speak to mr NDN whilst his wife is out.

kali110 · 14/06/2017 13:14

I saw this coming. The nanny tutned the waterworks on so she wasn't in trouble.
The wife was able to say you were threatening because you yelled at her.
All of them are selfish and inconsiderate.
I wouldn't let this go. Id take pictures everytime. If it carried on i may even send it into their work...

MrsMyreton · 14/06/2017 13:39

I've been following this thread from the start OP - please don't feel bad! I hope you enjoy your day, and I would say, wait until your DH is home before you speak to Mr NDN. Better to have someone witness the conversation and for you to have support. Smile

You are right not to accept this situation and you have tried to resolve it sensibly.

RiversrunWoodville · 14/06/2017 13:51

Enjoy your day out and I hope Mr NDN is reasonable when you return Flowers

rainbowstardrops · 14/06/2017 14:02

I would have had to listen to what he had to say while he was on his own. Hopefully he was going to apologise for his wife's behaviour.
Hope it all settles down for you Flowers

coconutpie · 14/06/2017 14:38

Speak to Mr NDR while Mrs NDR is out - he sounds more like a reasonable person.

Fink · 14/06/2017 14:48

Phew, finally found you all and caught up. I kept on looking since the last thread went dormant/filled up, but I couldn't find you anywhere. Was so distraught at the thought of not having this resolved. I hope you get resolution on it with NDN tonight and can put it all behind you.

justkeepswimmingg · 14/06/2017 15:23

I hope Mr NDN is going to be apologising to you on behalf of the nanny, and of course his hot headed Mrs NDN. Fingers crossed this is the end of it for you OP. I'm eagerly awaiting your next update Smile.

ApproachingATunnel · 14/06/2017 15:36

My guess is he will offer some sort of solution in an attempt to keep both nanny and wife happy. Which won't be quite the solution you want. He sounds ok and reasonable, it's the two witches who are being rudiculous. I suggest you stay firm and assertive with them- the only acceptable solution is for nanny not to block your drive. End of. Anything else is irrelevant.

steppemum · 14/06/2017 15:39

phew, found second thread - it was touch and go there!

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 14/06/2017 15:47

Hope op is OK. . .

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 15:49

Hi all, I have not long been home. No sign of NDN's or Nanny's car so I'm assuming nobody is in.

I think we all need to sit down together and get it all out, but I just don't want it to turn into another argument in front of the children.

I've had a lovely day and really can't be arsed with more tension so in that respect I feel like just sending DH round there and let him deal with it because I seriously just don't have the energy for it.

If Mr NDN comes knocking on my door before my DH gets home I'm almost tempted to just ignore it.

Sorry for those who couldn't find the thread. There was a poster on thread 1 who said they would post the link to this thread (as I didn't know how to do it on the App) but I'm guessing they didn't get around to it.

OP posts:
annielouise · 14/06/2017 15:52

Your 7 months pregnant and they're causing you stress. They should be ashamed of themselves - the woman NDN and the nanny.

Athome77 · 14/06/2017 15:54

I would wait till your hubby gets home. Just for someone to back u up- always have a witness!

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 14/06/2017 15:58

Approachingtunnel
All discussions about where NDN and nanny park are totally irrelevant as long as it's not on OP drive or across her drive

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