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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

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ArchieStar · 14/06/2017 18:03

Could you be right about the affair, and they're using you and your DH as an excuse for her to be over? ShockShockShock

EggysMom · 14/06/2017 18:05

I think it is fairest that you and your DH discuss this with both NDNs (& their Nanny if they so wish) so that nobody is put at a disadvantage by handling the conversation without support, and so that everybody gets to witness what their own partners say and how they say it. Then there can be no future intimidation, recriminations or guilt-trips.

If they come round before your DH gets home, either ignore the door, or go for the broken record approach: "I am not willing to discuss this on my own at my doorstep. My husband and I can come round this evening (or whenever) to continue this conversation."

Think about whether they are in a position of strength by holding the conversation in their own house, do you feel uncomfortable there? Turn the tables and invite them to yours to talk about it.

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 18:08

Could you be right about the affair, and they're using you and your DH as an excuse for her to be over?

That really would be the icing on the cake wouldn't it Grin

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PoorYorick · 14/06/2017 18:14

Well it might explain her moodiness.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 14/06/2017 18:22

Well it might explain her moodiness.

OMG maybe the nanny is pregnant!!

(By the by I'm sorry for accusing you of putting up a strawman about 10 pages ago. I didn't realise you were responding to a silly post and thought you had made it up for hyperbole.)

ArchieStar · 14/06/2017 18:22

Exactly re moodiness! And it would explain why she's been there twice today and conveniently you selfish OP either you haven't been there and neither has DH! It all fits!!!

ScooterOnTheMotorway · 14/06/2017 18:23

They all sound unhinged!

frogsgoladidahdidah · 14/06/2017 18:34

Oooohhhh... this could be a soap storyline!

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 18:37

OMG maybe the nanny is pregnant!!

I'm going to be on Jeremy Kyle aren't I?!

"Nightmare Neighbour knocked up the Nanny"

Grin
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PoorYorick · 14/06/2017 18:51

No problem, DailyMail.

frogsgoladidahdidah · 14/06/2017 18:51

Haaaaa!!! I love it and would definitely watch that!

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 18:55

We could get the lie detector machine involved....

"Miss Nanny, do you indeed have a back condition that requires you to park close to your employer's home?"

The Nanny said yes....

The lie detector result says: BULLSHIT!! Grin

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twisterinyogapants · 14/06/2017 19:07

Loving the bullshit !! Lie detector Grin

GabsAlot · 14/06/2017 19:17

how can hr back be so bad she has to park close but she can be a nanny without problems

anyway id leave it now short of them apologising

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 19:21

Well time is passing and NDNs still haven't been around so I think I've missed that bullet Grin

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frogsgoladidahdidah · 14/06/2017 19:34

Are you not going crazy wondering what he wanted to say? I amGrin

bluediamonds · 14/06/2017 19:35

Let's hope they have finally got the message so you can just get on with living rather than have all this upset (especially when you are heavily pregnant, and I this heat too!!) and inconvenience (I've had parking across my drive issues before and it ain't pretty).
It's all the more despicable that they are enforcers of the law, apparently, but when it suits them. They should be ashamed of themselves. They make a mockery of what they stand for.
You've done well op! As someone said upthread you do indeed have balls of steel and they have served you well my friend.

RMC123 · 14/06/2017 19:36

Frogs - Me too!

I would be desperate! Think I would be tempted to send DH around on your behalf.
With excuse that you are 'very tired being PREGNANT and all that!'

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 19:36

My guess is that now Mrs NDN is home he won't come over because she wears the trousers and she'd go crazy if he even suggested we all try to make amends and move on.

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Babbitywabbit · 14/06/2017 19:36

Nanny has a bad back from being bent over the kitchen table having a good seeing to by Mr NDN.
Mrs NDN suspects something, but wonders if its OP he's rogering; hence her extreme moodiness, particularly when she couldn't coincide work shifts with Mr NDN to keep an eye on him.

This thread has got to go in classics! Grin

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 19:40

Nanny has a bad back from being bent over the kitchen table having a good seeing to by Mr NDN.

Grin

I'm feeling the urge to do another diagram........ Grin Grin

I'm definitely not being rogered by Mr NDN and I would be more than happy to return to the JK Show after the baby is born for DNA testing to prove it Grin

OP posts:
diddl · 14/06/2017 19:44

She's parked on their drive??

Babbitywabbit · 14/06/2017 19:46

Yeap, diddl. And he's parked in her Grin

TransvisionTramp · 14/06/2017 19:48

Best. Thread. Ever.

(not place marking, ohhh no. Other people do that, not me)

Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 19:48

Nanny was in the house for an hour between 5 and 6 and during that time she was parked on the drive Smile

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