To e really uncomfortable about this food bank usage?

[EssieTregowan]

It's not strictly a food bank, it's a local church community project, they get donated out of date food and run a free cafe, and every few weeks they run a free drop in where you can basically pick up what you like.

It is advertised as for everybody, tbf, but their website is very clear that its aim is to tackle food poverty.

My sister has been three times and keeps sharing the link and gushing about all the free food she's been getting.

I am really, really uncomfortable with this. They have three holidays a year, drive a new car, both have good jobs. They are not in any way in poverty. She is very tight and loves a bargain (nothing wrong with that) and is chuffed to bits to be getting a crate of free food every few weeks.

It makes me feel a bit sick though. I can't say anything in real life as I'll look like a bitch and probably be accused of being jealous

Aibu? This just strikes me as all kinds of wrong but I'm prepared to be told otherwise.

[WitchDancer]

As a volunteer at a food bank, I take the viewpoint it's better to give to someone who doesn't need food than to turn down someone who does need it.

[Biker47]

Might see if there's one around my area, the money I save on paying for food I could use for my spending money for my trip to Vegas next year instead.

[ladyyyglittersparkles]

Wow if my sister did that especially on Facebook I would publically tell her what a scummy fucking shitty thing that is to do! Morals of a fucking alley cat clearly!

[Screwinthetuna]

Wow, she sounds like the type of person who would take bags of clothes for charity from the ends of people's driveways.
Don't know how you're managing to hold your tongue

[MyWhatICallNameChange]

OMG, RTFT!

It is open to anyone. Anyone can go and take food that would otherwise have been thrown in the bin.

They have already handed out food parcels to those in need and then open the doors to anyone else who wants it.

She is not stealing food from poor people's mouths.

It is open to anyone in the whole town. If no one takes it the food would be thrown away.

I've been, we have a fair income. There was a huge mix of people there, and lots of my friends have been, from all walks of life.

Have I mentioned it's open to anyone?

[Biker47]

As mentioned before, just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Yes, we get it, it's not a "food bank", doesn't make the situation and more palatable.

You're nieve to think that all the poor people in the surrounding area have recieved that help before it's doled out to all and sundry who drive up in their range rovers a week before they swan off to Thailand for a fortnight, either because they think they're managing enough with what they have, or for their own pride, or because they think there are people out there worse off than them, or whatever reason.

The OP's sister has no shame, regardless if it's "open to anyone".

[Foniks]

Comment on one of her posts saying how good it is that she's getting the support she needs and link to a story of somebody who actually did need it, telling her it reminded you of that and that you're so glad the help is there for people in these situations

[bumblebee61]

I'm absolutely appalled What kind of person would do this? What the hell is wrong with her? Take her to a homeless shelter or something to see what genuine people in need look like . You must say something, and tell the organisers too.

[kateandme]

it depends some area need more food and some food banks even have waste.so Id rather it go eaten and appreciated.
and like pp I kind of like shes going as it shows those ashamed that there is no need to be.
what I would say is she should be giving in to it too.or doing something to give back because unlike others she can.

[Italiangreyhound]

Maybe you could encourage her to support the church in other ways? Maybe she could help out there. If she is not breaking the rules you are being unreasonable. Maybe the church needs to be clearer about who the service is for and maybe those who want to use the service but can actually afford to help in soe ways, should do so.

[SerfTerf]

I'm in two minds. It's clearly a bit of a pisstake.

OTOH, fiddly "vouchers from a professional" systems inevitably make accessing help very hard work for some who need it (not everyone in need has a social worker or housing officer or feels comfortable asking a GP even if they can get an appointment). Which in turn overlaps with the issue of stigma and THAT deterring people.

Personally, I'd rather a few people take what they didn't need if it means ALSO reaching more of the people who could do with a hand. But stock levels, remit etc have a bearing.

I'm involved with our local food bank and this has been debated furiously several times now.

[Hmmalittlefishy]

RTFT!
It Is NOT a food bank. Op andmany other posters have explained
It is a cafe with a box of food to take to reduce food wastage.
It also reduces stigma about using schemes so once the ops sister donates some non perishable food she is actually doing a good thing to promote the scheme and use it
So maybe read the thread and understand what is written before being so appalled and saying she is scummy

[SerfTerf]

Do you want to maybe tag someone in @Hmmalittlefishy ? Bit pointless throwing shouty little orders around if you're not going to address them to someone.

[Hmmalittlefishy]

How about each everyone who commented after mywhaticallnamechange who said exactly the same thing a few getting all annoyed for no reason Including you who still seems to think it's a food bank.
It's been said many times.
Not even the full thread maybe just the op or the last page would tell people
No wonder there is so much stigma around

[Hmmalittlefishy]

Random *a few there sorry.

[SerfTerf]

I didn't call anyone scummy. Have you got a bit muddled? @Hmmalittlefishy

[Hmmalittlefishy]

I didn't say you did serf

[SerfTerf]

Oh good. It sounded for a minute as though you'd appointed yourself thread police, lumped a bunch of us together and were giving us all a good telling off.

[Hmmalittlefishy]

Not at all serf merely suggesting that instead of posters getting wound up and calling names at ops sister they actually read all the posts explaining what it is and that besides not donating (which op will encourage her to do) she is doing a good thing
Thread police??!!! Who would want to do that or has the time

[unlimiteddilutingjuice]

I think OP's sister is alright here. Sounds like she's just taking the left over perishables, with the permission of the church. She's not taking food from anyone's mouth and she's promoting the service over Facebook.

I'm in your sisters position quite often OP, because I live in a very poor area but I'm not poor myself.

Every time you go to a church toddler group around here it will cost 1 pound (or less) and a really huge "snack" will be provided. For Mums as well as kids. And it will conspicuously high calorie.
Then once a year everyone will be invited on a heavily subsidised outing.
And at Christmas Santa will come and give each kid something really well chosen, just for them, to the value of about £20.

Obviously, my £1 a week does not cover all this so I'm aware that I'm being subsidised in a way I don't need.

The way to deal with it, imo, is to use the service but give generously under the radar.
Maybe encourage your sister to drop them a donation.

[bsbabas]

I haven't had a holiday in ten yrs I go hungry sometimes and have one pair of shoes and lots of bills. I don't go to the food bank. I think I will now.

[Etymology23]

We have an independent project in our town I think doing similar - after Christmas they had multiple van loads of potatoes and carrots that would otherwise have gone to waste - so there they wanted anyone to take them, not just those in poverty. Other times it will be those who need it only.

[Foxcovert]

OP you are so NBU! I think your view is entirely normal and socially moral.
I also have issue with the cost to the NHS of perfectly affluent people getting free paracetamol suspension/ Calpol and l
Head lice treatment via pharmacy first because they "are just as entitled". However, I have been shot down in flames and verbally abused for expressing that view. 😬

[SecretSmellies]

Fox My DS has a range of medication needs, and as he is under 16 he gets them for free. We are more than capable of paying for the medication- and frankly resent the GP getting shitty with me because he needs two lots of everything because the school requires to hold his medication at all times as well.

I have asked the chemist, the GP and the hospital time after time if there is a capacity for me to pay for the medication- even the more generalised £8 prescription fee- because we can afford it and because the NHS in my location is struggling.

Every single time I am laughed at (rather, sorted at) and told there is absolutely no capacity whatsoever 'in the system' for me to pay voluntarily.

I have written about this to my MP, as I think it is bonkers that there is no capacity for a voluntary and discretionary contribution.