To e really uncomfortable about this food bank usage?

[EssieTregowan]

It's not strictly a food bank, it's a local church community project, they get donated out of date food and run a free cafe, and every few weeks they run a free drop in where you can basically pick up what you like.

It is advertised as for everybody, tbf, but their website is very clear that its aim is to tackle food poverty.

My sister has been three times and keeps sharing the link and gushing about all the free food she's been getting.

I am really, really uncomfortable with this. They have three holidays a year, drive a new car, both have good jobs. They are not in any way in poverty. She is very tight and loves a bargain (nothing wrong with that) and is chuffed to bits to be getting a crate of free food every few weeks.

It makes me feel a bit sick though. I can't say anything in real life as I'll look like a bitch and probably be accused of being jealous

Aibu? This just strikes me as all kinds of wrong but I'm prepared to be told otherwise.

Are you talking about something like The Real Junk Food Project?

My understanding of that is that it's to highlight food wastage rather than just the issue of poverty . Everyone is welcome and people are expected to pay what they can or nothing.

I don't think they give away crates of food, but maybe they do. They cook meals and people of all backgrounds can eat together, which sounds great.

Maybe the church should think about something like this to discourage people like your sister.

BTW the Real Junk Food Project is apparently going to be prosecuted under Health and Safety legislation. Though seeing as they don't sell the food, I'm not sure how that would work

Oh, I'd totally share her online, screen grabs with the boasts about the 'free food'. 'We all know what a miser X is (what an ugly trait) but taking food from the needy, that's a new low! Way to go, sis. We're so proud of you,' and put it everywhere. And send it to the church.

Up to the church to police it, but your sister is morally so wrong as to be indefensible.

I think I'd feel compelled to call her out on it.

YANBU her behaviour is awful. The fact she's boasting about it on facebook tells me she really hasn't thought about it in the same way you have... or that she doesn't care? I would leave it if it were an acquaintance but I wouldn't be able to bite my tongue with a close friend or relative x

I'm on the fence here. On the face of it yanbu if she is taking from those in need. We used to have something similar locally - it was for charity. They got donated out of date food and ran a cafe. You paid what you could (there was a suggested donation) and the idea was that overall they'd make money for the charity but also it would provide a meal for those in need. The financial side of things didn't work out, sadly, and it closed, but it was a really lovely community thing - quite well to do parents alongside elderly people wanting company or homeless people wanting a meal. A rare place that had the potential to break down barriers and increase understanding - it wouldn't have served quite the same purpose if it wasn't for everyone. They had a table of food that they weren't able to use up to help yourself to and I did quite often (having paid my donation). There wasn't any suggestion that was a bad thing and it should be left for those who really needed it. It was stuff like whole cabbages or bowls of carrots and the idea of the giveaway table was to stop it was to stop it going to waste. So you could have misunderstood the nature of the church food bank?

I'd have to say something but only because I'd be so terribly worried about her having so little food that she feels the need to accept charity donations. I'd just want to know what I could do to support her while she's going through this difficult time so that the charity food could go to others who don't have family/friends who could help out.

YANBU.
Yep - she's a grabby cunt and hugely mean.
She'll have no luck for doing that.

Have you spoke to her about it, maybe she just hasn't thought it through?

Who do you think has the power and authority to 'abolish' a foodbank Zukie?

It happens witsender. About 10 years ago my council fought a long and ultimately successful campaign through the courts to ban food runs by charities.

It was said that they encouraged homeless people to commute to the area. They undoubtedly did and sometimes that could cause problems with anti-social behaviour.

There were also stories in the paper about people like the OP's sister who queued up for a free sandwich though they didn't really need it, had jobs, foreign holidays etc. Strangely, none of these freeloaders was ever tracked down.

Though I don't doubt it happened, I'm sure that was a big problem - but it sure did get people outraged. A bit like what's happened on this thread, really.

Anyway, the council got their way and the food runs ended. Be careful what you wish for, OP

Ask her if she needs any help at the moment, as you've seen she is struggling/using food banks, so are worried about her.

She'll have to admit she is using them for no reason and will hopefully be a way of outing what a shit she is being.

Exactly this ^ I'd also say another friend has mentioned that they didn't realise that she was that poor and was wondering if they should help might make her realise that she's not making herself look good

I'd tell her she is taking food out of the mouths of hungry people. Being uncomfortable but saying nothing is pointless.

I should have said: I'm not sure that was a big problem

Call her out for taking food from the mouths of the poor.

Publically shaming her sounds good. But I think it will take some time to wear her down as she's perfectly happy to share her "fortunes" with others.

I like the message asking her if she is having trouble at the mo as she's going to food banks. I'd also send her messages asking her if she's going to put any of the free food in her suitcase the next time she changes her status e.g. "Just jetting off to the Maldives" if she does that sort of thing. Tell her what she can and can't take with her eg meat to certain countries etc.

Is it something that is underused and so if she didn't take it nobody else would? Somehow I doubt it TBH but thought I'd ask. It does sound grabby.

It's out-of-date food. Surely the point is to prevent it being wasted, not to say that only "poor people" should take the leftovers that nobody else wants?

There's a cheap restaurant in my city which uses things which are about to go out of date and the supermarkets/other shops wouldn't be able to sell in time. By your reasoning only low-income people should be allowed to eat there. Perhaps the rest of us could go past and point at them through the windows?

There are many people who, regardless of income, abhor waste and are interested in living a lower-impact lifestyle. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, you can enjoy overseas holidays but still think it's a shame for perfectly good food to end up in landfill.

I can't imagine what it would be like to not be able to afford food for my family. It's just utterly heartbreaking.
If you are certain your sister does not need this assistance then you should call her out on it. Is she likely to fall our with you over it though? That wouldn't be good either.

You could gently remind her how it should be used fairly.

I'd call her out. Unless she's being pressed by the organisers to please take it or it'll go to waste she's taking food from people who can't afford to buy it themselves. I love a bargain as much as the next man and have been really skint in my 20's but taking food from a food bank in all but name would sit uneasily with me.

They get donated out of date food?

Surely that contravenes some kind of health & safety law?

Just because people are poor doesn't mean they need out of date shit.

Your sister is a cheeky fecker and I'd be inclined to pull her up on it.

absolutely call her out on it OP. If my sister were doing this I'd tell her to stop being such an arsehole and get over herself. My sister would say the same to me.

I think I'm going to send her a link to their actual website, where it says their aim is to tackle food poverty.

She's not much of a critical thinker and probably hasn't thought it through. She's just seen a bargain, well more than a bargain as she hasn't paid anything, and made a beeline for it.

I would have to say something to her...maybe something like 'you do realise that as you are not on the breadline, you are expected to make a donation, don't you? The food is supposed to be for families who can't afford food!'

It is FareShare btw.

You do realise there's a huge anti food was movement and this isn't necessarily about poverty but about not wasting resources?

you could have misunderstood the nature of the church food bank?

That's what I'm thinking longestlurkerever. No one should abuse it but there is more to these projects than supplying people in abject financial need. Why shouldn't someone who is rich but lonely come along? Why shouldn't someone who is rich and has loads of friends but fancies making some new ones also come? The only issue is that people should pay what they can afford.

This thread is like the ones that pop up about council housing and all those people who live in lovely council houses with subsidised rents while the rest of us struggle.

People have the idea now that social housing is only for people in dire need. That may be true now that most of it has been sold and local authorities don't build much any more. But that's not how the idea was conceived. We need diverse communities of people getting on with each other instead of bitching about what someone else is getting