To e really uncomfortable about this food bank usage?

[EssieTregowan]

It's not strictly a food bank, it's a local church community project, they get donated out of date food and run a free cafe, and every few weeks they run a free drop in where you can basically pick up what you like.

It is advertised as for everybody, tbf, but their website is very clear that its aim is to tackle food poverty.

My sister has been three times and keeps sharing the link and gushing about all the free food she's been getting.

I am really, really uncomfortable with this. They have three holidays a year, drive a new car, both have good jobs. They are not in any way in poverty. She is very tight and loves a bargain (nothing wrong with that) and is chuffed to bits to be getting a crate of free food every few weeks.

It makes me feel a bit sick though. I can't say anything in real life as I'll look like a bitch and probably be accused of being jealous

Aibu? This just strikes me as all kinds of wrong but I'm prepared to be told otherwise.

[Foureyesarebetterthantwo]

It's NOT a food bank. Why can't people read the thread? The OP has confirmed that the food has already been offered to the needy/charity groups in the local area and this is surplus to requirements and would just be binned.

Ethically surely throwing it away is worse than someone actually eating it!

[PoppyFleur]

I think this sentence from the Fareshare website sums up their ethos:

We save good food destined for waste and send it to charities and community groups who transform it into nutritious meals for vulnerable people.

From what has been written, I don't believe we have enough information to ignore the OPs comments about her sister and surmise that she is actually a vulnerable person. The sister is clearly not in need of anything but a bargain, nor is she giving back in financial donations.

This might be in the letter but certainly not the spirit of the scheme. The sister needs a lesson in paying it forward.

[limitedperiodonly]

Draylon it's not a food bank

[e1y1]

Well, she clearly doesn't have a conscience. There would be potentially children going to be bed with hunger pangs, not able to sleep, not able to concentrate in school, all so your "D"sis can save a few quid.

Totally selfish, if you can pay your way, you absolutely should. She should count her lucky stars she doesn't have to use a food bank.

[RainbowsAndUnicorn]

If it's to stop food wastage then she's doing nothing wrong. Surely less waste is a good thing?

As for taking food from babies, how OTT and wouldn't their parents be the ones to provide the food anyway?

[EssieTregowan]

As I said earlier, I have spoken to the charity.

They have confirmed that yes, it is ok for her to use their services, but that they appreciate donations of non perishables in return from those that can do so.

I haven't had a chance to speak to my sister yet, but I will see her at the weekend.

I have collected up a load of pasta, coffee, tea, rice and tins and will take them up on Saturday. I'll make a point to dsis that I've done this to support them and hope she feels moved to do the same.

I'm happier having spoken to them that she's not taking food out of the mouths of people who need it. I do think she ought to support the charity in return though.

[EpoxyResin]

That'll teach me to skim! But even if I had picked up ink that I would have assumed it meant "food bank"; there things certainly aren't well known around here, and by the looks of it in not the only one these are new to. Bloody good idea though!

[EssieTregowan]

It's tricky, because as the guy said they don't advertise that they want people to give what they can because it would exclude people who can't. But they basically rely on people's moral conscience to do so. So I need to have a little whisper in her ear really.

I will add that she's not some kind of psychopath, she's just not terribly bright. She is part of more than one MLM if that gives context.

[GabsAlot]

how selfish -if she was hiding how poor she was fine but bragging she gets free food then sharing the link is low

[limitedperiodonly]

I bought two lamb chops reduced from £2.75 to 69p in Sainsbury's last night. Should I have left them for someone poorer than me or perhaps they should have gone into landfill?

[GabsAlot]

and no i know its not a food bank i woul just never thnk of doing this -if thy want to reduce foo waste her ds wouldnt brag would she

[GabsAlot]

limitd thats just not comparable is it

[limitedperiodonly]

I will add that she's not some kind of psychopath, she's just not terribly bright

How nice of you to let us know

[limitedperiodonly]

I don't really understand what you're saying GabsAlot.

[EssieTregowan]

Honestly, she's lovely and sweet but just doesn't do critical thinking. She spams FB with all her latest MLM deals and wowcher bargains and this is just an extension of that. But this one matters to me so I 'investigated'.

[hellokittymania]

You are not being unreasonable, many people really need that food, and would be too embarrassed to admit it.

[Upanddownroundandround]

YANBU to be concerned about it but this is out of date food that is being thrown out by supermarkets so it's not a food bank where people have paid for food and donated it. It's good that it is being used by someone. I'm sure if there isn't enough to go around the people running the group will intervene.

[EssieTregowan]

Yes the guy I spoke to was very diplomatic. He said its there for everyone but that they survive on donations. So really she should be making a contribution or donation of food in return. I'll let her know.

[Lovelymess]

I would 100% call her out on it "oh sis I didn't realise you were struggling sorry"

[Mummym2005]

Mum lives in sheltered accomodation for the elderly. Next door neighbour ,who is not elderly but classed as disabled regularly brings home carrier bags full of supermarket surplus from the local church foodbank. He bragged to mum last week that he spends four hundred pounds a week at the bookies!

[Rabblemum]

I've known people live for free from thrown away food, they say there's tons of it.

[eulmh]

I think that's pretty shocking! I honestly do not understand the behaviour of some people. I don't know how she can sleep at night knowing she is taking off people who genuinely need it. I hope one day she doesn't genuinely need it and find there's nothing for her.

[Sara107]

In Ireland there's a scheme like this. I know the headteacher of a primary school, the left over food from the local supermarkets is distributed first of all to foodbanks and churches and then to anyone who wants it so the school signed up. This is perishable stuff, fruit, bread etc so needs to get used up quickly. It helps people who are in need not to feel stigmatized and embarrassed if everyone takes it. At the beginning apparently nobody would take the food, so the head teacher had all the staff 'shopping' from the donated food at home time and gradually more and more parents started taking it.

[manicmij]

YANBU. Can't you just slip a comment like"aren't you worried that folk will think you are living on the breadline collect food from the organisation (name of foodbank). With your car and holidays folk will think you/partner must be "on the take" or something dishonest having these yet going for free food usually thought to be for very low income households. Shame her, she deserves it.

[MrsPorth]

I think that with these anti-wastage schemes (as opposed to food banks), it actually helps if some customers are better off. It reduces the stigma. Obviously, if they're all affluent it's problematic, but the presence of a handful of the Boden brigade could reduce the (unnecessary) feelings of shame in other, poorer customers who desperately need the food. So, whilst I think that your sister is probably tightfisted and greedy, I don't think she's doing serious harm here.