Ending friendship with flaky friend

[MalcolmTuckersTardis]

My first AIBU!

Backstory: (Male, not that it's relevant) uni friend has always had form for being ridiculously late. Recently he's become really flaky too - always changing dates and times of meet-ups. We're in our 30s now and I've put up with this for over a decade because he's a laugh and it's now what I consider a historic friendship.

I recently had my first baby. Friend and his fiancée have been bugging to come visit but due to feeding struggles and general new baby shock I couldn't be dealing with his flakiness so put it off until now when baby is 3 months and I'm a bit more settled.

So we arranged weeks ago - after a LOT of back and forthing over times and dates - to meet today (Sunday). Last week he texts to say he made a mistake and can't do Sunday but Saturday should be fine instead, right? I say no because i have a longstanding arrangement with another non-flaky friend on Sat. So he then says ok let's stick to Sunday but 11am instead of afternoon. Fine, I reply but I'm not changing again because it's annoying (and not easy when juggling life around a new baby).

So DH & I spend the morning taking it in turns to hold the baby and get ready, tidy up and prepare a light brunch for 11am. 11am, 11.10, 11.15 all come and goes and I hear nothing. Friend lives 5 mins drive down the road, btw.

So at 11.15 I text to say brunch is off. At 11.21 he turns up with fiancee ringing the doorbell as though nothing has happened. No apology, nothing. I don't let him in. He keeps calling my mobile and eventually I pick up and say I won't see him because I think his behavior is unacceptable. He does the usual and refuses to accept any culpability and instead gives me two or three diff excuses (he put in the wrong post code in the GPS, a cousin came round unexpectedly before he set off etc etc).

He also said if I didn't see him I'd be upsetting his Fiancee and also they had gifts for the baby. I stood my ground and didn't see him. He eventually left the gifts outside and left.

So a) WIBU? and b) AIBU not to go to his wedding next month because I frankly don't have time for his BS anymore and consider the friendship over?

uni friend has always had form for being ridiculously late
YANBU (sort of). It sounds petty to not let him in but I can see how you'd feel enough's enough when he has form for this. I hope he's going to be on time for his wedding!

FWIW I hate lateness. I was brought up to be punctual because keeping people waiting is considered disrespectful of their time (except on MN of course). I have a friend who was nearly always 15-20 minutes late when meeting him at a restaurant and in the end I got fed up of it so told him it pisses me off. Since then he's been on time. Can't stand it when I've made a big effort to get myself ready and got to a venue on time, only to sit there like a lemon until my date graces me with his presence. Grrr!

Not self entitled. Takes me a while to get sorted due to depression and ocd
Then how about, as you're aware that your depression and OCD can cause you to often be an hour late, you get ready an hour early so you don't keep your friends waiting?

Don't go to his wedding. It will be a huge relief to his fiancée.

Bloody hell,I think you just lost a friend...that was mean and nasty

He sounds like a right pain in the arse. OP has a baby and is providing brunch....he's 20 minutes late (following a load of mucking about to get the OP to fit in with his plans) but doesn't apologise?! Rude, rude, rude.
YANBU. No one needs anyone that ill mannered in their life.

You sound bonkers op. If I ended a friendship anytime a friend was 20 mins late. I'd have no friends..

OP do you think you may have subconsciously planned this scenario? You knew he'd be late so you struck while the iron was hot and ended the friendship.

I expect it will be a relief for both of you, the charade of friendship will be over.

He was late, with his fiancée, whose wedding you are going to and they were stood outside your door with gifts and YOU WOULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR.......

OP they won't want you at the wedding. And I don't blame them.

I used to have a friend who was always 1-2 hours late. I simply told her 2pm and planned for 3pm, including when I'd invited mutual friends too. Worked a treat.