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To ask for a hand hold for the next 2 weeks...

139 replies

user1490817986 · 11/06/2017 10:48

Some of you read about my Sainsburys victory the other day (yay!). As some may know, I have autism (high functioning) and depend a lot on my mum, who I see every day.

Today she is going on holiday for 2 weeks, and I'll only have her at the end of the phone, with just Toby the cat for company, and my manchild older brother who doesn't believe I have autism. He will be staying at my mum's house which is a 20 min walk from my flat.

I'm panicking already. I see her everyday, I struggle some days with terrible clinical depression and anxiety, and I don't know how I'm going to cope without her. I have some of my weekly groups to go to (art class, coffee groups) but I still have weekends and evenings/mornings where my anxiety can be worse.

Can I ask for a virtual handhold from someone to get me through the next 2 weeks? I'm going to make a list/routine of things I can do everyday to help me.

OP posts:
Mexxi · 23/06/2017 20:58

Hi Toby I have just seen your thread. I hope you don't mind if I join in. I have to say I think you are coping brilliantly. I also have a furry bastard who doesn't always do as he's told. I don't let him stay out all night either and in this hot weather, he's wanted to stay out later and later in the cooler air.

Mexxi · 23/06/2017 21:03

Toby look seriously cute. Don't you just love how they alwas find silly places to lie down? (Like the top of some stairs!) Grin

Foslady · 23/06/2017 21:53

My furry bastard has decided for the last 6 months that she HAS to eat between 2-4am and then 10 mins later go out. She's worse than a toddler!

Queenofthestress · 23/06/2017 22:41

Wish I could do nails like that, but then again I feel like I've got two left hands when I do mine!

WizardOfToss · 23/06/2017 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Queenofthestress · 24/06/2017 09:36

I did wonder where you'd gone @WizardOfToss haha

Katmeifyoucan · 24/06/2017 09:50

Just read the whole thread. You are doing so well and I love your nails. Am I right in thinking that your Mum is back tomorrow?

Tobythecat · 24/06/2017 20:40

Hi everyone. I haven't done much today. I woke up and my brother gave me a lift to feed the cat, and then went back with him to my mum's all day. He dropped me back at 6, so I did some more of my new jigsaw, had a lovely scone with strawberry conserve and clotted cream and now waiting for big brother to come on. Toby is still out, hopefully he won't be much longer otherwise i will panic.

Mum isn't home until early hours of Monday, so I have another day to get through tomorrow. My brother is spending the weekend over his mates. My stepbrother may call in to see me and the cat tomorrow which will help break the day up a bit!

2017SoFarSoGood · 24/06/2017 22:25

Hi Toby. Am really pleased to hear how you are just dealing with whatever comes along, good or bad. And doing a great job.

Cats are so contrary. If you want them in they want out and vice versa. My little black cat likes to join us at the dinner table, by leaping up onto the back of her chosen victim's chair, balancing there by leaning heavily against your back. Makes for interesting eating. Has scared a few of our guests half to death Grin

Wolfiefan · 24/06/2017 22:48

But only one more day. Yay!
Hope cat is safely in.
I REALLY love cream teas. Yum!

WizardOfToss · 25/06/2017 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumstaxi2 · 25/06/2017 09:20

SmileHello Toby I've just found your thread and wanted to say how well you've done. It's been lovely to read what you have achieved such as getting the bus into town to meet your cousin when you don't usually do it at the weekend.

Hopefully your brother has become a little bit more understanding. Although his refusing to watch TV while you ate pizza is probably a step too far for him - young men can be very obsessive with their Xbox games!

I also want to thank you for giving me a wonderful insight into your life. I work with many people with autism and Asperger's and it will help me to understand them a bit better.

Finally have a good day today - I bet you are looking forward to seeing your mum tomorrow :-)

Foslady · 25/06/2017 09:38

Hi there Toby! Hey, did you ever think how well you'd have done this time two weeks ago? I think you should print this thread out to remind yourself of it when things get trying that you are amazing! I'm so chuffed for you that today is the last day and you have overcome some really big things - worries about the cat coming in, art group cancellation, the bus when you weren't sure how busy it would be, getting home by yourself at short notice and all the issues that posed to name a few. If today ends up being a bit tricky for any reason you can always try chunking it and assigning 'things I can do' into the sections.
Do you bake at all? You could maybe make a cake as a 'welcome home' gift?
Whatever you do - have a lovely day Smile

Tobythecat · 25/06/2017 19:27


The grossest thing happened last night. Toby came in at about 9pm and he had bits of poo caked on his (white) chest and all over his legs and bum. He was also missing his collar. I grabbed some toilet paper and water as it's all I had and did my best to clean him up and wipe his bum. I had to cut the but of poo on his chest out with a scissors - which I've know thrown in the bin. He sort of let me do it - I think he knew I was trying to help him. He was a bit restless as he couldn't get clean even though I tried my best. I did hear what I thought was a cat fight. I think he might've got in a fight with another cat (loads around this cul-de-sac) and shit himself literally and lost his collar in the process.

His chest is all white and clean again now though, he did a good job of cleaning himself!

My Step-brother and his girlfriend came over today to see me and Toby (Toby was his cat he found as a stray) but he already had a cat and they weren't getting on, so I had Toby.

My Mum is home in about 7 hours! I'm going to have a bath, paint my nails and watch big brother.

Tobythecat · 25/06/2017 19:28

Thanks Foslady! It wasn't so bad afterall Grin. I'm so lucky to have had all of your support on here.

My mum won't be back until the early hours, but she said we are all going for a meal tomorrow to catch up as she is back in work all week.

Foslady · 25/06/2017 19:34

Eugh - your cat is as bad as mine!!!!!

Sounds like a great plan for the evening- enjoy!

Stuffofawesome · 25/06/2017 19:37

You did it. Remember that next time you think you can't! Well done you

Tobythecat · 25/06/2017 20:26

Does anyone know if I can Private message pictures? Or would I have to send a link? I wanted to send something via PM to some of you on here (if you're willing!) but i'm not sure if I can send pictures via PM? If not, would anyone mind if I sent you a link via PM? It's just a verified picture of myself and Toby the cat, thanking each one of your your support over the last 2 weeks.

Wolfiefan · 25/06/2017 20:52

I don't know if you can but you have done amazingly. Think back to how nervous and anxious you must have done before she went. Now just a few hours to go. Well done you. You should be proud of yourself.
Hope Toby cat is ok. Watch out of it could have been a fight. Small puncture wounds can end up as abscesses if you don't keep an eye on them.

Foslady · 25/06/2017 20:53

Erm - not sure how PM stuff works tbh! And I'd be amazed if anyone objected to a thank you
(But tbh this has ended up being a lovely thread, I've enjoyed seeing how well you've been doing and hopefully you're feeling good about yourself and what you've achieved) Flowers

Nquartz · 25/06/2017 20:59

Another one who wanted to say how well you've done, your mum will be so proud

Queenofthestress · 25/06/2017 21:24

@Tobythecat please post pictures of your nails! You've done beyond amazing these last two weeks, I hope you have a good meal out with your mum tomorrow and let her know how well you did facing the obstacles you did, I have a massive grin on my face writing this thinking of how proud you must be of yourself!

WizardOfToss · 25/06/2017 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2017SoFarSoGood · 26/06/2017 04:43

You know Toby, if I was your mum I'd be over the moon with how you have coped. You are a Star and should be really proud of yourself. You are a strong young woman. Never forget this! ❤️

Stuffofawesome · 26/06/2017 08:49

PS you should also be proud of yourself for seeking out support on MN as a coping mechanism. That was a good move.

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