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To ask for a hand hold for the next 2 weeks...

139 replies

user1490817986 · 11/06/2017 10:48

Some of you read about my Sainsburys victory the other day (yay!). As some may know, I have autism (high functioning) and depend a lot on my mum, who I see every day.

Today she is going on holiday for 2 weeks, and I'll only have her at the end of the phone, with just Toby the cat for company, and my manchild older brother who doesn't believe I have autism. He will be staying at my mum's house which is a 20 min walk from my flat.

I'm panicking already. I see her everyday, I struggle some days with terrible clinical depression and anxiety, and I don't know how I'm going to cope without her. I have some of my weekly groups to go to (art class, coffee groups) but I still have weekends and evenings/mornings where my anxiety can be worse.

Can I ask for a virtual handhold from someone to get me through the next 2 weeks? I'm going to make a list/routine of things I can do everyday to help me.

OP posts:
Stuffofawesome · 16/06/2017 13:53

any strikes at bowling? weather supposed to be great if you're in the uk this weekend. Hope you have a good one.

user1490817986 · 16/06/2017 15:23

No strikes sadly!

I was going to go to Sainsbury's today but couldn't face it Sad. I'm disappointed with myself, I'm on my own all day today. Going to go and sit outside with my book for some fresh air.

I'm meeting my cousin tomorrow in town. I haven't seen her for about 7 years. She has special needs and told me she's skint so I'll be buying her lunch tomorrow (or maybe coffee/cake) Smile.

I'm nervous because I've never been to town before on the weekend, and I know it will be pretty busy than what I'm used to, plus the buses might be packed. But I didn't want to go 2 days without seeing anyone so I arranged this yesterday.

OP posts:
Stuffofawesome · 16/06/2017 15:48

I can never face the supermarket which is why I generally do an online shop! Town is likely to be busy. Is there somewhere you can go for coffee that has a bit more space? Cafes in department stores can sometimes be more spacious and a bit more open so less noisy. Or get a take away coffee and go sit in a park. Is there anything that helps you in busy environments like having headphones on? (While you're travelling obvs less practical if talking to your cousin!) Hope you have a good time

Nquartz · 16/06/2017 15:58

Department store cafe is a good suggestion, but if you've got one I'd probably avoid John Lewis, ours is always packed on a Saturday.
I've been reading this thread with interest, I think you should be really proud of yourself this week. You've coped really well Smile

ConfidentlyUnhinged · 16/06/2017 16:17

Make sure you put on suncream tomorrow (assuming you are in the U.K.) it's supposed to be scorching!

user1490817986 · 16/06/2017 19:57

I know of a quiet cafe but I've never been on the weekend so I'm not sure how busy it will be. I hope it's not too busy.

Feeling really sad and anxious today. I've been reading a thread that upset me deeply and wish I hadn't.

OP posts:
Stuffofawesome · 16/06/2017 20:10

feelings come and go. Can you think about something else, more neutral or that makes you feel calm? or listen to something like this (Headspace meditation) Take tomorrow a step at a time, if you find it is becoming too difficult remove yourself from anything overstimulating and do whatever helps you to reset yourself. You're doing so well.

Peachesandcream15 · 16/06/2017 20:58

Just wanted to add my support, you're doing great!

Have a lovely weekend and enjoy the sunshine!!

GreenRut · 16/06/2017 21:08

user I get a bit like this and when I do I find it really helpful to break the day up into chunks in my head, the worse I am, the smaller the chunks. So when really bad I might only plan the day in half hours. On better days, I'll split the day in two in my head. For some reason it makes it all feel far more manageable, not so insurmountable.

Judging by what you've written here though - you're doing grand! Afew trips out, plans tomorrow. You should be super proud of yourself.

Foslady · 16/06/2017 22:20

Another adding how well you are doing - you're half way through and look how great you've done!
Chunking your day works for me too. Even the bus, break it into each stop if needs be, and if you get really stressed taxi back maybe? Concentrate about how lovely it will be to meet up again after all these years - and remember we all believe in you. What time are you meeting up at the cafe? Some times will be quieter than others, and maybe you can get a quieter table and have your back to the rest of the tables?
And how's the jigsaw going - had any time to do any of it?

Foslady · 16/06/2017 22:22

Forget to add - remember you have all of us here to tell about it all, hopefully good, but if it's not quite as planned we're here for that too Flowers

2017SoFarSoGood · 16/06/2017 22:29

hello User I'm just catching up with your week and I have to say I am so in awe of how you are coping! Great job. You should be very proud of yourself. If you let yourself, I bet you'd even admit some of it has been great fun too Grin

Keep at it. It is okay to get a little down now and then, but you've got this! Totally believe in you.

user1490817986 · 17/06/2017 11:01

Thanks for all the messages - I'm about to leave to get the bus, should be there by 12.

I have my earphones to listen to some spiritual talks which helps me. I'm nervous about how busy the bus will be and the cafe. Wish me luck.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 17/06/2017 11:07

Good luck. You are doing really well. Enjoy lunch.

Dawndonnaagain · 17/06/2017 12:45

Hope your afternoon is good.
As for supermarkets, I tend to do early morning or late evening, far quieter!

Tobythecat · 17/06/2017 20:48

I'm back! Well, I got back at 3, but I had a nap and wanted to finish my jigsaw Grin.

It was a lovely day today and it was nice to see my cousin. We had lunch which wasn't great. I have a recent obsession with nail varnish so my cousin helped me pick out some sparkly nail varnish in Boots. Photos below Grin I also got a load of earrings from Claire's as they had an offer (buy 3 get 2 free) but I ended up spending more than I planned. I also bought a pic n mix in Wilko, which my cousin thought was hilarious for some reason (I love pic n mix!) Grin

It's fathers day tomorrow so my brother and I are going to take my dad out for a curry buffet for lunch.

Thank you all for your kind messages!

To ask for a hand hold for the next 2 weeks...
To ask for a hand hold for the next 2 weeks...
Tobythecat · 17/06/2017 20:48

Also finally figured out how to change my boring username

Stuffofawesome · 17/06/2017 20:55

Well done. You did it. Nice nails

SandysMam · 17/06/2017 21:05

Ah lovely nails! Did you do those your self?? Looks like a professional manicure!
When things get tough, think what a lovely time your mum will be having.
Have loved reading your thread, you are doing so well and actually, getting out there and enjoying life, not just surviving the 2 weeks. Hope you show this to your mum when she gets back, she will be very proud.

CrochetBelle · 17/06/2017 21:32

Love the jigsaw! I have a panoramic Disney one, but it's just the princesses. Will see if I can find a picture of it.

CrochetBelle · 17/06/2017 21:34

This one. Oooh I've got a sudden urge to get my jigsaw board out now

To ask for a hand hold for the next 2 weeks...
Foslady · 17/06/2017 21:49

Love love love that nail varnish! If only I didn't bite mine down to nothing.....

WizardOfToss · 17/06/2017 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tobythecat · 19/06/2017 08:48

Hi everyone!

Had a nice lunch yesterday with my Dad. Can't believe how warm it is, it's boiling today also.

I'm going to town at 10 to my anxiety coffee group so that will get me out for a few hours.

Hope everyone else enjoyed their weekend.

SandysMam · 19/06/2017 09:02

Ah that's good, was thinking of you!
Enjoy your group today although it may be more of a cold squash day rather than coffee!!
Another day closer to your mum being home, you are doing so well.

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