To play him at his own game?

[DaisyChaining]

My DDs dad is a proper shit. Doesn't turn up for contact half the time, making me miss uni and work and stuff. Doesn't particularly pay his way, though he acts like he's paying me a fortune 🙄

Anyway, he finally came and got her today two hours late. I went to a big festival and have been drinking all day. I'm going to be hungover tomorrow.

He's saying he needs to bring her back in the morning as he's got things to do. AIBU to just ignore him until 3/4ish when I've properly indulged my hangover? Considering what he does to me on a regular occasion.

Your poor child shouldn't be a pawn in your immature game.

Grow the fuck up and try to be a parent.

^ this.
Just because he's being a child who dodges his responsibilities doesn't mean you have to stoop to his level. It's not fair, true. But that's how it is.

What would he do if you werent there?

Would he look after her properly and the only person who would suffer his shit is you? Do it.

If he would palm her off, make her feel horrible and she would have a shit time, dont do it.

Grow the hell up and think of your daughter!

Would the responses be different if OP hadn't been drinking?

If she'd said she' gone away to visit friends would the consensus be to change her plans and come home early to accommodate him, or would she be told to tell him to fuck off and look after their DD himself?

Yeah OP grow up and accept that you have to put up with this shit and constantly pander to his change of plans at your own expense.

Yanbu, I don't agree the op needs to grow up, surely it's the other way round?
Ignore op, don't feel guilty, you are allowed to be a parent and have fun.

You would have been better to stay at a friend's and not be available. I'm sure you're angry but this is the drunk talking. Your dd is a child and her needs come first.

Poor kid.

Your ex needs to grow up and accept responsibility - are you sure your child won't be in danger if you go off grid though?'

If she's not due back until later and he's bringing her back early crack on. If she's supposed to be back early you need to suck it up.

She needs at least one parent she can rely on.

Yeah I would ignore him.

Your day off not his. Let him be a parent and put your child first for a change.

Hope you had fun at the festival:)

Yes, absolutely. She is his daughter too, why the fuck shouldn't he step up? Ignore all these holier than thou posters.

Why poor kid?

YABU. You're the parent; you need to be bigger than this for the sake of your daughter, or she'll never forgive you for it.

All day drinking, really? You need to find better past times.

This shit messes with kids much more than any breakup
it's the constant resentment and game playing and aggro towards the other parent that never lets up
i know a DD who's lived with this to-ing and fro-ing of aggro between parents living apart, and shes not grown into a happy confident young woman, shall we just say
DH will do what he will do, just rise above and be the parent your child can rely on OK so having a hangover is not a good idea when childminding, and as a once off if DH is a kind Dad and your child is happ y to stay on for a few hours??? But obv not fair as a regular thing where you never turn up to pick up at the agreed time

It's her day off. She is a university student, presumably working towards her and her daughter's future, of course she can get pissed if she wants to, on her DAY OFF.

So the two grown-up kids are playing games at trying to outsmart each other while the genuine child's interests are irrelevant. You're both irresponsible and selfish morons.
This post just really made me angry and sorry for your baby at the same time.

of course she can get pissed if she wants to, on her DAY OFF.

Unfortunately she can yes, as it is legal, but I will fucking judge any parent who does so and then has their children the next morning when they're hungover.

You're both parents, neither of you gets days off.

'You're supposed to love your daughter more than you hate each other'. -Judge Judy 1999.

Whar time was he supposed to have her until?

You're both parents, neither of you gets days off.

Exactly. Being a parent is not a part time job.

It's her day off. She is a university student, presumably working towards her and her daughter's future, of course she can get pissed if she wants to, on her DAY OFF.

She's a mother, first and outmost. She shouldn't make the baby a pawn in the game of two idiots trying to outsmart each other. Caring more doesn't make her a martyr for the cause, just more responsible and mature between them.
If you're not ready to be prepared to share your life with someone needing attention, care and your time, don't have a child.

Yes she can. She works, studies, and i assume has residency of her dd. She is allowed to do what she wants on her day off. He is asking to bring dd back early, all the op is saying is to ignore the phone call so dd is brought back at the time originally arranged.
The op is not the one with the problem here, it's the ex.

Do it as a once off if DH is a kind Dad and DD is happy?

Then go back to usual routine, Im assuming u r usually always reliable, always there for cuddles and on time Mum? Don't blame u for being worn out, tired of being let down, pissed off with DH for constantly letting u down, but he loses in the end