To play him at his own game?

[DaisyChaining]

My DDs dad is a proper shit. Doesn't turn up for contact half the time, making me miss uni and work and stuff. Doesn't particularly pay his way, though he acts like he's paying me a fortune 🙄

Anyway, he finally came and got her today two hours late. I went to a big festival and have been drinking all day. I'm going to be hungover tomorrow.

He's saying he needs to bring her back in the morning as he's got things to do. AIBU to just ignore him until 3/4ish when I've properly indulged my hangover? Considering what he does to me on a regular occasion.

She sounds like she looked after at her fathers so I would just send a message saying 'no, we agreed x time'
You are not awful for going out and enjoying yourself, you are not awful for drinking, you are not neglecting your daughter because you have enjoyed a bit of you time.
It doesn't sound like you get to let your hair down often, don't feel guilty for doing that.
And to the other posters who have flamed this poor lady, give her a break!! She's 23, with a two year old child who she is bringing up virtually alone. She sounds to me like she is doing an amazing job and that she adores her daughter. Would it be better that her daughter had an unhappy mum who never had any fun at all?
I'm betting that if she thought that her daughter would be at any risk of harm by not coming home early, she would not have even asked for advice. It would be a no brainier, her daughter would be dropped back early.....

If he was due to look after her all day today then I don't see why you can't stick to your arrangement. My ex used to do this - it's to stop you having a life. I'd have texted him to say you won't be there until whatever time suits you. She's with her dad, she's not been abandoned. Don't show him any emotion that this is getting to you. If he says he'll be there at 12 and doesn't show until 2pm don't tell your DD he's coming in case he doesn't. Go out. Teach him a lesson to get there on time or it's his loss. That's what I did and it meant he had to toe the line a bit.

Poor child, it sounds like nobody wants her

I'm a lone parent and have ds 90% of the time so if he's with his dad and I'm having a day to myself then damn right I don't want him. I don't want him back a full 8 hours before he is due back when I have made plans to relax and go off duty for a few precious hours/days

I love my ds more than life itself but that doesn't mean I want him with me 24/7 nor that I am ready to drop my plans at a moment's notice because his feckless father has decided he can't be arsed to parent for more than a day.

That doesn't make me a bad parent.

Thanks for the update OP, glad everything worked out but there was no absolutely need for you to explain yourself. If you choose to go to a festival and drink far too much cider in your free time that is your business and nothing to do with anyone else. Being a mother doesn't mean you can't have fun and it sounds as though you needed a bit of a blow out with everything you're carrying on your shoulders. I hope it did you some good
I'm somewhat more concerned that people seem to think you should be the only parent to take full responsibility for your little one when she has a father who feels that he can just pick and choose when he wants to be involved. It's not the dark ages and I think he could do with a taste of his own medicine. I'm sure you wouldn't trust him with your DC if he was completely irresponsible so good for you.