To be depressed at the parenting I've seen today

[sowhatusernameisnttaken]

On Friday at the supermarket some woman came across the car park f'ing and blinding and shouting at her husband saying "you can forget me going anywhere tomorrow" her daughter piped up "going where mummy?" "Anywhere with your fucking father" cue more swearing from him then them piling into the car and her screeching off. I felt so much for the poor girl.
Today, same supermarket, woman having a go at her toddler sat in the trolley scowling at him and then when he made a fuss her saying patronisingly "bye bye" and waving slowly side to side whilst walking backwards away from him, again I felt so much for the poor little boy.
Then walking out to the car a woman swearing into her phone with her daughter by her side saying "you can't just fucking drive off you're supposed to be picking up your fucking daughter" And more swearing and shouting.
I realise people don't lead perfect lives and I sometimes shout myself but the way in which it was done shamelessly in public in full view I felt so much for those poor children and the environment they're being brought up in. I found it so depressing.
I'm lucky I just have one child and no stress which I realise makes me less likely to act like this but still :-(

Stop going to this supermarket maybe

Haha I cant afford Waitrose 😉 I thought it was reasonably respectable but evidently not :-(

Sounds like you saw a few people at their limit today. I've had one of those days today, and yes I have sworn near my child, I shouldn't, but I did.

Stop being so judgemental.

I had a fight at a Waitrose when I used a parent space without my kids / nowhere is safe ! Joking aside this if life and it's not nice to see but Saturday morning shopping with kids is living hell

Yanbu

And to balance, we went to a Cathedral choral evensong today. It was very simple but with beautiful music in a lovely setting. A young family with three children arrived (a guess suggests boys of 7 and 4 and a girl of 2 or 3). On the other side of us a father arrived with a little girl of around 4 years. What we'll behaved children; they sat quietly listening and evidently enjoying the music. Their parents quietly explained bits and pointed out things to look at. The older ones were given orders of service. It was a joy to behold.

Probably shouldn't have posted on this thread, I suspect it'll just make me feel even worse for shouting

Just because someone loses their shit on public doesn't mean the kids are growing up in a hellish environment. You've only had a brief glimpse into these people's lives. Good for you that you always behave impeccably in public

You saw the same woman two days running in the same supermarket? Wow

3 different women/families

Order online?

No seriously; it's horrible. I've reached tethers end many times but never to that extent.

YNBU for finding this depressing, but be prepared for the dozens of posters condemning you for being judgemental. I've read countless threads like this and the responses are so predictable.

Nobody's perfect and everybody loses their cool sometimes. But the way some people behave towards and/or in front of their kids is shitty, does affect those children and I don't think there's anything wrong with judging that behaviour.

I have had many times when my nephews have refused to leave the toy aisle (or somewhere else they find suitably interesting) in the supermarket, at which point I have said, "bye [nephew's name]" and walked to the end of the aisle. They always come rushing up asking me to wait for them.

It's never done with malice, as such, but I know it will work. I'm now wondering how many people have judged me for doing that?

I don't agree with swearing in front of children as a regular occurrence, but every parent I know has done so on occasion - the end of the tether is reached is different times depending on the situation. Saturday morning shopping would be a short time I'm guessing.

DD (15) came home from ballet lesson really upset today after seeing a mother say to her 11 year old dancer son ' You disgust me'. He was drinking a soft drink.
Dance Mums can be a particular kind of awful but DD said her tone was utterly cold.

I live in a big city centre. Seeing junkies roaming the streets with small children in tow is depressing.
I saw a woman I recognise from around town with a lovely newborn today. She could barely push the pram as she & her horrible husband shouted at each other. And then at their poor toddler who was tagging along. I see crazy shit every day, but I just wanted to rescue that baby...

*I have had many times when my nephews have refused to leave the toy aisle (or somewhere else they find suitably interesting) in the supermarket, at which point I have said, "bye [nephew's name]" and walked to the end of the aisle. They always come rushing up asking me to wait for them.

It's never done with malice, as such, but I know it will work. I'm now wondering how many people have judged me for doing that? confused*

I'm sure we've all done that. It's a tried and tested way of getting stubborn toddlers to follow you when you need to go somewhere. But the toddler in the op was sat in a trolley - completely different situation.

I've been that mum twice today, although no swearing. My 2 year old DD ran into a road today full pelt, I went ballistic at her. My anger was such that for the rest of the 20 minutes walk home I kept telling her off. I feel like a shit for it.

Then tonight she won't sleep. Every time I think she is off she opens her eyes. She has just gone to sleep now. I admit to massively losing my temper and shouting at her to go to sleep. I'm tired. I feel like a terrible mother now she is finally asleep, and start panicking that the negativity today will have an adverse effect on her.
It may have been one of those days for those women. You just don't know.

Saturday morning, or most mornings shopping with children, especially little ones is a feat of strength and endurance...! We've all employed the sterner voice/mummy's going now or finally resorted to 'yes you can buy the latest lollipop/skateboard/ironing board with Paw Patrol printed on it.
Swearing, malice, aggression? No, not right! I do not like people teasing children to the point it upsets them or an adult being that nasty to a child.
If you are resorting to arguing and raising voice with a toddler...you have lost!
Everyone to their own method of discipline...your children, your way!
Foul language is a no no, teach your children to get their point across without resorting to vulgar language.
No, I am not an angel, I also get frustrated at by non angelic children but discipline and not having control are issues you constantly work with as children constantly grow and push boundaries...they learn from adults.

I saw a man pushing a buggy with his child in, across a really busy crossing without even checking to see if cars would stop (it was a red man) - I felt like shouting at him myself.

Lol how is it 'judgemental' to be disappointed at seeing 2 parents shouting the F word in front of their kids?
I can understand why you'd feel that way OP, but remember your experiences don't reflect everyone in the world and there are happier examples everywhere, such as Crumbs1's one I also saw a toddler fall over this morning and her dad got her giggling again within seconds of starting to cry by picking her up and blowing a raspberry on her belly which made me smile.

Swearing in front of kids doesn't mean they will turn into low achieving delinquents.

My parents swore all the time in my presence, sometimes at each other, and in my dads case in 3 different languages. It never upset me, nor did it cause me to be a badly behaved, troubled child, quite the opposite. Same is true for my children, who I've never deliberately set out not to swear in front of. Interestingly when they were in the first few years of primary school, the worst language in the playground came from the kids of the boden clad Waitrose shopping 'yummy mummy's' (ugh) who made a big to-do of saying 'sugar' 'flip' and such like in front of them. Which made me think clearly there is no point, and actually by hearing swear words in regular use, they weren't special to my DC who had no interest in repeating them...

I really cannot abide this holier than thou nonsense. There are many ways to fuck your kids up that are far worse than them hearing you say the word fuck, or raising your voice.

YNBU it's not a pretty picture. And not what we wish for our children, or others children
Yet, we've all been there. We've all lost our temper and yelled, and lived to regret being so angry. And we do have to 'cut some slack' and be kind to ourselves, forgive ourselves, and forgive our children, when we or they, lose it. In an ideal world, we control the temper, not the anger controlling us. But it's not an ideal world, so we muddle along.
Parents losing it, it's down to many reasons, one being many parents are under huge pressure with no break or relief in sight, and little or zero support. But that doesn't mean we should stand by and let each other taunt or belittle or abuse our children Velvetspoon, that doesn't mean we can't raise our voice, be angry, be passionate in a respectful way. But whenever we cross the line saying hurtful, or unhelpful stuff we can't take back, that is really when we need the most support. We all do it at some stage, just needs more honesty, support, being able to say sorry to our children, and talk about it

Sometimes, and I'm not proud to have done it, but I've argued the toss with my kids dad over the phone but in public.

I truly don't think you can understand until you've waited three months for an interview and her dad decide he's not having her cause he doesn't feel like it - with 20 minutes notice it obviously meant I couodnt get the job. Obviously I tried to stay calm, and I would never purposely badmouth my DDs dad in front of her but it's really not that easy.

Like you said, you only saw a snapshot.

Never mind, everyone's spewing their personal experiences as fact. Job done.