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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to buy my ds a skirt

66 replies

Lostinaseaofbubbles · 10/06/2017 22:17

I thought of this in respect of another post tonight and I didn't want to hijack so I've started my own thread.

DS is nearly 2. Whenever we go to one particular playgroup he heads straight to the dressing up box and grabs the green tutu and a tiara and brings them to me to get me to put them on him and wears them for the whole morning. His brother always grabs either the knight helmet or the builders hat.

We have a dressing up box at home and without any hesitation I got a knight helmet and builders hat at Christmas time. But not the tutu and tiara...

I've got three boys, very unlikely to have another child.

Before embarking on this whole motherhood thing I swore I'd be all gender neutral and try to encourage all forms of play. But I bought DS1 a doll when I was expecting ds2. He could not have cared less - if it doesn't have wheels he is/was not interested, so everything has ended up pretty boyish.

Anyway, do I buy a tutu and tiara for my dressing up box?

And whilst I'm on the subject, should I have bought DS1 (age not quite 4 at the time) the pink sparkly trainers that he saw and fell in love with and really really wanted? (I worried he'd get teased at preschool and talked him into getting brown ones with race cars on the bottom). It's been about 9 months and he still talks about those glittery trainers...

OP posts:

CaoNiMartacus · 10/06/2017 22:19

Go for it.

alcin · 10/06/2017 22:25

I would if asked,

My ds at age of 5 asked for & got a dress, swimming costume, skirt and leotard.

He wore them for around 12 months for dressing up/roll play.

bridgetreilly · 10/06/2017 22:27

It's completely normal for small children of both sexes to enjoy dressing up in skirts, sparkly 'jewellery' and high heeled shoes. No reason not to add such things to your dressing up box.

Yukbuck · 10/06/2017 22:27

Definitely. Colour doesn't have a gender. Children should have freedom to choose what they want within reason..a colour doesn't hurt anybody.

Captainj1 · 10/06/2017 22:30

Go for it. My 2yo DD has a racing driver outfit, a fireman and a dinosaur in her dressing up box, alongside various animals and some girly stuff. She likes the dinosaur the best. Dress up is all about imagination. They can be what they want to be. My DS has zero imagination and was never interested in dress up or playing with model figures etc. so I'm pleased DD seems to have more of a creative side.

sweetbitter · 10/06/2017 22:33

I definitely think you should get him the tutu and tiara.

Canshopwillshop · 10/06/2017 22:46

Go for it. My friend's DS was so into princess dresses at that age and him and my DD used to love dressing up together at pre-school. He is 12 now and quite a strapping rugby player so I don't mention it!

Mari50 · 10/06/2017 22:49

I think its fairly normal for boys to go for the tutus etc- proper dressing up. I'd go for it.

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 10/06/2017 22:50

Definitely 😊 My dc's dressing up box is woefully inadequate but both dc have a fabulous cm with loads of stuff. Dd always likes the princesses and ds clip-clops around in a hi-viz jacket and hard hat, a necklace or two and some Minnie Mouse heels.

Jellykat · 10/06/2017 22:53

Absolutely yes! My DS1 had a polka dot skirt, and also liked to wear nail varnish. My nephew (aged 9) has just chosen a pink sparkly dress for a family special occasion, it's all good.

MrsJoyOdell · 10/06/2017 22:57

I said no to the other thread, but in this circumstance absolutely you should! He'd love it, so why not?

CaulkheadUpNorf · 10/06/2017 23:01

I would.
The channel4 Secret life of the 4/5/6 year old did some fascinating ones about gender. Might be worth watching.

MissWitch · 10/06/2017 23:01

I think you should get the tutu for your DS, maybe take him shopping with you so he can choose what he wants in his dressing up box. I'd also definitely get the pink glittery trainers. He clearly loved them, especially as he's still talking about them now. He's very lucky he has a mum who is open minded and is willing to let him express himself how he wants. With regards teasing your best bet is allow him to wear the trainers at preschool and deal with any teasing etc if it happens. You might be pleasantly surprised- little ones are often much more accepting than we give them credit for.

eatingtomuch · 10/06/2017 23:07

My DS used to take my swim skirt and wrap it round him. He loved the Tweenies at the time and said it was his ballet skirt. I never stopped him.

Original poster

Lostinaseaofbubbles · 10/06/2017 23:08

I think my reaction to the pink trainers for DS1 made me doubt myself on the tutu for DS2.

I still feel guilt over those blasted trainers - I wish they'd been cheaper and he could have had them for "playing in the garden or out with family" shoes, but they were so expensive they'd have had to be his main shoes and I worried he'd get some abuse at preschool.

DS1 has requested/had painted nails in the past, but again, I've always removed it before nursery/preschool. My justification being that that's what would have to happen when he starts school.

Anyway - tutu and tiara are now on birthday shopping list for DS2.

OP posts:

user1494237944 · 10/06/2017 23:08

My ds always wanted his nails painted hands and toes when I did mine so I did his and when his dds arrived and got to the age that they wanted their nails painted he still wanted his done - but just his feet as he didn't want to get teased! No harm and we all still chat about the time of all sitting together and me doing their nails! Buy the tutu etc for your ds.

IntheBenefitTrap · 10/06/2017 23:10

Obviously.

Crumbs1 · 10/06/2017 23:10

My first son loved his sisters black lacy petticoat tutu thing. Wore it everywhere for ages when he was about two. He knew it was dressing up and playing.

Bythebeach · 10/06/2017 23:14

I have three boys and the youngest (4.8) is into pinky glittery things. Has had pink sandals in the past and has pink fairy wings and tutu currently and a couple of 'girl's' tops. His choice. Some girls at nursery excluded him from their games because he was a boy (not for his pink bunny top etc and nursery have always assured us several boys choose 'girl' dressing up things from the dressing up box ) - we talked to nursery who have done some great circle times on how games and clothes are not for 'girls' or 'boys' and everyone is free to choose. I really strongly believe they shouldn't have to conform to gender traditions that have no basis in reason and really don't want to squash my son's wishes simply to conform to groundless societal expectation. I haven explained that some unthinking people may tease because that may be the reality he lives in but so far everyone is accepting of his choice and he is prepared in case of unkindness. His big brothers would defend a boy's choice to wear pink to anyone!

lifetothefull · 11/06/2017 00:03

Why not see what you can pick up at school fete / jumble sale / car boot / swapshop, then it doesn't feel so deliberately a girl's thing. you've just bought a job lot.

2gorgeousboys · 11/06/2017 00:04

I agree go for it. When DS1 was 3 or 4 he loved dressing up and our dressing up box had everything from knights and policeman to princess dresses and fairy wings as he loved them all. When he was 4!his favourite colour was pink and he wanted to be a bridesmaid when he grew up. He's now a strapping 17 year old completely comfortable with his life choices and likes and dislikes! He also has a gorgeous girlfriend. DS2 had the same exposure to the dressing up box and is very different and more aware of people's observations and opinions.

WhyNotDuckie · 11/06/2017 00:09

When kids dress up it's just experimenting with a persona.....eg if they dress up as a police officer, it doesn't mean they will be a police officer when they grow up, just that they are enjoying pretending they are at the moment. Same with little boys dressing up in tutus etc.....just playing. I'd buy it if ds wanted it. No problem.

Ragdoll545 · 11/06/2017 00:14

My ds is very 'boyish' and his dad encourages this boyishness however he has many 'girly' toys he has baby dolls, princess crowns, pink sparkly toys of all varieties. Absolutely do it, why should boys only like tools and knights and cars etc?

CheeseQueen · 11/06/2017 00:16

I'm another "no" on the other thread, but I don't see the harm in a dress in a dressing up box!
I'd have a range of stuff like police man's helmet, builder's jacket, and a dress - that way he could go for what he wanted to dress up in.

Rossigigi · 11/06/2017 09:51

My son had a doll and pram for his second birthday

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