to buy my ds a skirt

[Lostinaseaofbubbles]

I thought of this in respect of another post tonight and I didn't want to hijack so I've started my own thread.

DS is nearly 2. Whenever we go to one particular playgroup he heads straight to the dressing up box and grabs the green tutu and a tiara and brings them to me to get me to put them on him and wears them for the whole morning. His brother always grabs either the knight helmet or the builders hat.

We have a dressing up box at home and without any hesitation I got a knight helmet and builders hat at Christmas time. But not the tutu and tiara...

I've got three boys, very unlikely to have another child.

Before embarking on this whole motherhood thing I swore I'd be all gender neutral and try to encourage all forms of play. But I bought DS1 a doll when I was expecting ds2. He could not have cared less - if it doesn't have wheels he is/was not interested, so everything has ended up pretty boyish.

Anyway, do I buy a tutu and tiara for my dressing up box?

And whilst I'm on the subject, should I have bought DS1 (age not quite 4 at the time) the pink sparkly trainers that he saw and fell in love with and really really wanted? (I worried he'd get teased at preschool and talked him into getting brown ones with race cars on the bottom). It's been about 9 months and he still talks about those glittery trainers...

Ooo. Fairy wings... am so going to look for fairy wings.

Be prepared for people thinking that you are letting him wear girls clothes because you already have two boys and you secretly wanted the third to be a girl

I don't think people would think that at all. Thr child is at an exploring and age the OP is open to facilitating this. Perfectly reasonable.

Totally different to saying 'right dearest 10 week old boy. We are putting you in a dress today because mammy thinks babies look cute in dresses.'

Our current dressing up box at work has been overhauled and all gender specific costumes removed. It's been replaced with material of all colours, textures, sizes and some with holes in. This way, they can use imagination more and one piece of material can be a dress, a skirt, a cape etc.

Love this! We have a collection of different coloured scarves in our dressing up box, they get at least as much use as the actual clothes.

Couldn't get the sizes up, but how about these OP:
www.vans.co.uk/shop/ProductDisplay?storeId=10158&productId=3492107
?

My ds is very 'boyish' and his dad encourages this boyishness however he has many 'girly' toys he has baby dolls, princess crowns, pink sparkly toys of all varieties. Absolutely do it, why should boys only like tools and knights and cars etc?

My DS 4 is the same. Very traditionally boyish. Loves vehicles, rough and tumble, climbing. His favourite toys are superheroes and sci-fi (though so were mine). But he also loves Barbie, My Little Pony - Equestria Girls and Lego Friends. His dress up stuff includes an Elsa dress along with his Hulk/Luke Skywalker/Ben 10 costumes. He has absolutely no idea yet that the presence of his penis somehow means that one third of his favourite things aren't actually for him. And long may that continue. Tbh, I'm hoping that he'll be a lot older by the time someone tells him that in a way that he takes notice of, so that by then he'll be so secure in his opinions that he'll be happy to continue enjoying every genre of toys and media that take his interest. It would be really sad to me if he suddenly felt he was barred from enjoying so many things he finds pleasure in.

what about looking in Primark for some cheaper glitter trainers?

I don't mind if my kids turn out to be gay or straight or trans or whatever. Any tinge of sadness would just come from any discomfort that they may experience either from emotions within themselves or from any negative impacts from societal expectations.

Here's the thing. If one of your sons is gay, he's gay. It doesn't matter what toys you facilitate him playing with now because a small child's choice in toys is absolutely no indication of sexuality. However, what letting him explore his own interests now will tell him, is that you love and accept him for who he is regardless of societal expectations. So if he does come to realise that he is gay in the future, he won't waste a moment of his life in fear of your reaction when he tells you. He won't worry that you'll be upset. He won't worry that you'll reject him. He will just know that you are happy for him to be him and love him no matter what.

I just thought, what about if u got them all ( or just him, if you don't think the others would be keen!) a pair of cheap white trainers and let them apply fabric paint and glue on bits (cheap pack of glitter, sequins, other more masculine embellishment from hobbycraft)? Then he could make them just as he wants them :-).
Could be special shoes, for dressing up use (as bits will prob drop off in heavy use!).

My ds loved his toy Hoover and pushchair when he was a toddler!
He didn't even push his baby on the pushchair!

He was and still is obsessed with anything that has wheels and moves

Yes, but prime his father ahead of time not to make any Dickish comments like mine did.

DS2 came down ready for school zany dress day with joggers and a yellow tutu, his father said errrr no, and I still remember he crushed look on his little face

They're a bit young for decorating their own shoes.

Don't think DH would mind. When I told him I'd told DS1 he needed his nail varnish removed before nursery his response was "why?"

And he was the one who sent me the link to the rainbow tutu. It was in response to me sending him a photo of ds2 in his tutu at playgroup with the message "birthday idea, or no?"

I took fairy wings in for my Year 2s. They were most popular with the boys and the male teachers who wore them for assembly that week.

My db liked to dress up in our dm's petticoat and my party dress when he was 6 (we did not have our own dressing up box). Over fifty years later he still wears dresses when he can and he is still my much loved db.

Haven't read the whole thread, just the first couple of pages so apologies if it's moved on...

I would & did have a variety of stuff in the dressing up box when my boys were small - it's just 'stuff' & not boy or girl stuff was the general message from me.
Some little kids (and older kids!) like sparkly stuff & glittery things, some don't.

Nothing to do with your original question, but linked... I do sometimes think that the insistence on gendering 'stuff' that is at the root of the numerous 'transing' children (there's 3 in my kids' school and it's not a big school).
The 3 in their school are girls who now 'live as' boys - prior to announcing they were trans they were all styled as very, very 'girly' by their mums and now are dressing exactly as I and others did back in the 70s/80s - jeans & trainers, no sparkles, short hair etc - just a crying shame that to be allowed to dress like that they had to be 'boys' first.

Go for it!!!! I have one of each (girl is older) so we already had stuff like tutus and fairy dresses in the toybox. Ds played with them as well as the dolls, pushed a pushchair, got his make up and nail varnish done (still does at 9 but has been sadly 'socialised' at school to know it's just a home pursuit if he doesn't want to be made fun of ) and has been quite happy with it all. They're just clothes/toys/make up - the important thing is he has open minded loving parents

Kids won't comment on the shoes, nobody has said anything to my DS about his MLP wellies