To buy my DS a dress?

[Isthereanyusernamesleft]

I've one DS, he is my first & last (traumatic birth).

He's only 10 weeks so is still quite neutral I.E you can't necessarily tell he's a boy yet!

I think dresses are lovely & as I don't follow this gender society crap of girls wear dresses & pink & boys wear blue & trousers.....I don't see the issue in putting my DS in a dress.

However, everyone else thinks it's wrong!

Is it??

YABU.
I'm always very at mums who dress their boys in dresses and skirts. Can't help but think they are pushing it on to them to make some sort of point.

No you're not but using a pink bottle is different than putting him in a dress isn't it?

penguin

It's the same and it isn't. As much as some gender conventions are stupid, you can't change the world. I think it's good to bring kids up looking st these norms with a critical eye, but it's not really fair not to teach them that they exist at all.

Society accepts females wearing male clothes, but most people would look twice and be a bit like if they saw a boy in girl clothes. As much as o wish this weren't the case, it is, so I don't think it's necessarily beneficial for the child to be dressed against the male norm without expressing a wish to do so.

I'm not saying at all that smocked prince-George type rompers or christening gowns or anything like that are the same, and as I have said I don't think a baby knows, but in reference to the comparison you drew, i don't think it's the same.

If your child wants to go against the grain then that's absolutely fine, but I don't think its fair not to teach them the way the grain goes at all.

Trousers are unisex. Dresses aren't.

What a crock of shit!! Tell that to the victorians who would look at a woman like she was batshit crazy for wearing trousers!!

By the way dresses ARE quite impractical for small babies - in slings, with straps in car seat/buggy etc. I think my DD had one or two before she was crawling and then she had quite cute washable nappies so with a shorter dress she couldn't get stuck on they were fine.
My DS is older and wanted a skirt for dancing in aged about 3, an orange tutu proved perfect.

But were not in the Victorian era anymore op! Women and girls do wear trousers nowadays!

He isn't a dolly. Your10 week old baby should be in babygrows. When he gets older if he wants to wear a dress then he can

No you're not but using a pink bottle is different than putting him in a dress isn't it?

It's not!

Society says pink is for girls & blue is for boys, does that mean my son will have mental health problems because he is drinking from a very pink bottle?!

My second DS was in babygroes or vests for absolutely ages. Way longer than my first. When he started to walk I just cut the feet off them.

I think I was a bit keen on the dressing him in stuff that was cute but not that practical - little jeans etc.

No love, just no

"If we want our children to grow up with a healthy sexuality then we do have to teach them gender norms."

Are you fucking kidding?

This thread is just beyond belief. If you got a poster asking about whether she could put her baby daughter in leggings then you would all (for obviously reasons) be laughing and saying what a silly question it is.

There is such pervasive, relentless enforcing of gender norms through every single cartoon and retail choice that you come across as a child these days. It isn't natural or normal for girls to grow up thinking that they are semi-useless, simpering, pink-wearing sidekicks. It isn't natural or normal for boys to think that they can't push babies in pushchairs, have emotions other than anger, or enjoy wearing colours other than muck-brown and blue.

Christ, we make decisions all the time for our babies. Do you think they want to be vaccinated, sleep on their own in cots, wear growsuits with whales on, have hairbands with bows obscuring their vision? Well, none of us will ever know. Because they're babies, and we make the decisions on their behalf, and that's totally cool.

I have yet to meet anyone who's deeply scarred by the growsuit they were put into as a 3-month old....

Q often Spanish boys wear dresses. The only way to tell girls from boys sometimes is that the girls have pierced ears.

But that's cultural. In lots of Asian cultures the men wear dress type suits. There is nothing inherently wrong or female about dresses, but in British culture, it's not the norm. This is you making a point.

So, leaving the Victorian era behind means that women and girls can wear whatever they like, but men and boys are limited in what they wear because ... people will think the OP is weird?!

For goodness sake!

... I meant I dressed the DS1 in jeans

heavens OP be careful or you might break the patriarchy

So when will you stop buying dresses? What will you tell him when he'll ask why he was wearing a dress? What if he wants one when he's older ? Not that it is an issue,but you seem to be unwilling to do that due to society.

You dress the way society wants you to,but want to dress your baby in a way that society doesn't agree with,while at the same time saying you will dress him as society wants once he's older. It makes no sense.

Why dresses in particular? Because you like them? Then you wear them.

I speak from experience that if you never put a child in a dress when they are young enough for you to be choosing then they will never want to wear one. It is all about exposure.

So if the OP wants her child to have a free choice on their clothing when they are old enough to choose then she needs to put the in mixed clothing now.

My point is about practicability, and I think it's interesting that lots of stuff for girls and women to wear is impractical or uncomfortable, or downright damaging to health

I don't see the problem at all.

NotMyPenguin

Thank you! Excellent post.

I'm astonished by the reaction the OP has received her, and the vitriol.

You're being ridiculous. Do you have pink cups for your tea and blue for your husbands? Do you have pink plates and blue plates?

Something you drink out of and something you wear are entirely different.

All my plates are blue. It doesn't mean I'll end up with mental health problems ffs.

Dressing your baby as the opposite sex for no apparent reason is just an odd decision to make in my opinion. If he wants to wear dresses when he is older - fine. His decision.

Just dress him neutral and let him make his own mind up!

Op you have clearly already decided you are not BU.

Excited to see this in the DM tomorrow

Ah! There we go!!

Discrimination at its finest, if I was Spanish....you'd all be saying "well seeing as in Spain, it's normal....crack on I say"

However, you are British and you have to do as we say!

Trousers were the least of Victorian women's problems. They couldn't vote, own property, get a divorce without their husband's permission or have sole custody of their children. The fact you want to dress your son in a dress is in no way comparable and you need to give your head a wobble before comparing women's suffrage with wanting to stick a dress on your baby.

I clicked on this thread thinking he would be a toddler and had asked for one, to say of course. But let's face it - you are going outside of societal norms and therefore that should be his choice when he is old enough, not yours.

Also, your son doesn't live in a vacuum. In years to come he will be "the kids with the weird mum who insisted he wore dresses." Don't do it.