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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about a lads holiday photo?

137 replies

nostringstoholdmedown · 08/06/2017 18:58

My dp has gone on a lads holiday (4 of them.) He has Snapchat (yes he's too old for it.)

He's put a photo of a pint on ... opposite that pint in the corner of the photo is a pair of boobs in a bikini. She's clearly sat opposite him at the same table at the hotel.

I just feel a bit sick ... like he's obviously allowed to talk to women but to be sat drinking together makes me uncomfortable.

I've not said anything as I might be being completely unreasonable.

OP posts:
Forgettheworld · 08/06/2017 21:47

I'd have messaged back straight away and asked who the lady was. She's sat bang opposite I think you have a right to ask.

LittleBeautyBelle · 08/06/2017 21:53

Pretty clear from your diagram she is sitting opposite your dh at the same table or booth. She could be sitting next to one of your dh's single friends or could be there for another totally innocent reason....anybody with a brain no matter how trusting the marriage is would wonder what the situation is.

I would do what a pp suggested, send him the hilarious pic of a man with no shirt sitting "opposite" you....and just wait and see what he says. Haha!!!

LittleBeautyBelle · 08/06/2017 21:55

Honestly though, I would have already done what forget said, and messaged him immediately. "Who is that across from you??"

It's not like you're pen pals or acquaintances. He's your husband. Think of it like this. If you and he were dating, and he posted that picture, you'd wonder the same thing. Even more so since he's your husband.

Original poster
nostringstoholdmedown · 08/06/2017 22:28

He's not my husband ... we've been together for a year.

OP posts:
FreeSpiritJen · 08/06/2017 22:30

Probably nothing in it OP. Why would your b/f cop off with other women and then send pics with them in it?! Confused

YANBU to worrythough.

But don't. Smile

HollaHolla · 08/06/2017 22:34

"Taken?!??" seriously is this still a term? Are we still treating people like possessions, and working on this basis?
You do know people can't be 'stolen' if they don't want to be?

TheweewitchRoz · 08/06/2017 22:37

If he put it on Snapchat then he's obviously not bothered about you seeing it as either it's totally innocent or he's completely disrespectful of your feelings. Only you know which of those is likely to be true (& FWIW, that would bother me too & I trust my DH completely).

Original poster
nostringstoholdmedown · 08/06/2017 23:07

Oh my goodness, why are some people getting their knickers in a twist over some of the wording.

I don't think ANYONE is a possession. I was just answering quickly. Some people reallly will go through a post with a fine tooth comb just to try and rip the OP apart. It's ridiculous.

I've taken comments on board and completely accepted that I could be BU but it's still not good enough. People still have to find fault.

OP posts:
Funnyfarmer · 08/06/2017 23:15

He might not even be sat at that table himself. He could have just put his drink down to take the picture.
Have you spoken to him yet?

Bleurghghghgh · 08/06/2017 23:26

OP unless you're usually the paranoid type I think your spider senses are tingling. You think there's something odd about this so maybe there is. Ask him who the boobs belong to

metspengler · 09/06/2017 02:16

If you send your man off on a lads holiday somewhere where there are women in bikinis and booze, his group may end up drinking and having fun with women who might happen to be wearing bikinis.

Obvious consequence. Don't do it if you don't like it.

iffikitty · 09/06/2017 02:47

I wouldn't be thrilled OP, are you going away together this year?

melj1213 · 09/06/2017 02:50

YABU

There's a million and one reasons why your DP might be sitting across from a woman in a bikini for purely innocent reasons and unless you have reason to believe they are up to no good (which is impossible to tell from such an ambiguous photo) then the worst crime he is guilty of is "drinking with a stranger who happens to be a woman and wearing a bikini at a beach bar"

"I just feel a bit sick ... like he's obviously allowed to talk to women but to be sat drinking together makes me uncomfortable."

Why does it make you uncomfortable for your DP to be having a drink with a woman, during the day in a public place but if he was just chatting to her then that would be fine?

I used to live in Spain and we regularly visited friends who run a beachfront bar in a very touristy resort. We would regularly sit at a table on the terrace with our tinto de verano and chat to any holidaymakers coming in to the bar ... I might have been sitting across from some random guy in a bikini top & shorts but that doesn't mean I'm automatically hitting on them just because we're having a drink.

Nandocushion · 09/06/2017 03:11

Actually, from the diagram I'd think he's trying to show everyone he knows that he's having a drink with a woman in a bikini. He could have taken a photo without her in it, but he made a point of having her in it.

Sorry, OP. I wouldn't like it either.

MrsOverTheRoad · 09/06/2017 03:28

I agree with Nando...it was my first thought. He's posted that so everyone can see he's near boobs.

Wanker.

I'd ignore all messages from him and then ditch him.

It's massively disrespectful and I'm VERY chilled....

LittleBeautyBelle · 09/06/2017 03:49

Also agree with Nando

LottieandMia · 09/06/2017 03:51

I would hate this too. Not on!

Paninotogo · 09/06/2017 04:17

How can you see his story?

KoalaDownUnder · 09/06/2017 04:22

YANBU.

It's a pretty poor choice of photo to post on the internet while you're on holiday without your partner, isn't it?

lavenderhue · 09/06/2017 04:30

I find it odd that some people are ok with it. Different tale if it was their Dp.

Missb00 · 09/06/2017 04:38

Sorry OP I would be a little uncomfortable with that too ☹️ Are you going to mention it to him? I probably would.

TheStoic · 09/06/2017 04:53

Actually, from the diagram I'd think he's trying to show everyone he knows that he's having a drink with a woman in a bikini.

Yup.

StillHungryy · 09/06/2017 05:09

Or you know he could have been taken a picture of his drink and focusing on the drink not the background. When I went on Holiday with friends there was a drink that essentially now every time someone is out and about and sees'/has we take pictures to remind each other of the holiday, with random people in the background.

If they're somewhere hot I'd imagine a lot of women are in bikinis, but because it's a man he's purposely framing it to get boobs in, unless OP's DP is an immature teenager which judging by her saying he's too old for snapchat I'd imagine he's not, boobs in a bikini aren't exactly something you have to take sneaky pictures of and share with friends so they can all have a little snigger.

travelingthew0rldbeforeim40 · 09/06/2017 05:16

Did you speak to him About it? Wouldn't it be so much easier just to ask him?

SugarnetMum · 09/06/2017 05:37

And what if its one of the guys wife's or girlfriends ? :S they could be all sitting together , so many factors

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