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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about a lads holiday photo?

137 replies

nostringstoholdmedown · 08/06/2017 18:58

My dp has gone on a lads holiday (4 of them.) He has Snapchat (yes he's too old for it.)

He's put a photo of a pint on ... opposite that pint in the corner of the photo is a pair of boobs in a bikini. She's clearly sat opposite him at the same table at the hotel.

I just feel a bit sick ... like he's obviously allowed to talk to women but to be sat drinking together makes me uncomfortable.

I've not said anything as I might be being completely unreasonable.

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 08/06/2017 20:31

did he send it to you?

he prob hasnt even clicked about the woman

if you trut him you shouldnt have a problm

Original poster
nostringstoholdmedown · 08/06/2017 20:34

Genuinely if some of you wouldn't be a bit hurt by it then honestly good for you. I wish it didn't bother me.

Other way around, I wouldn't be sat at a table having a drink with a man and posting it on my Snapchat for everyone to see. But we're all different.

OP posts:
Original poster
nostringstoholdmedown · 08/06/2017 20:35

Should I do a diagram? Grin haha

OP posts:
RestlessTraveller · 08/06/2017 20:40

So do you have a problem with his single friends talking to women?

outabout · 08/06/2017 20:42

He is obviously being a bit 'weird' and (stupid, or add your own expression) to include the lady in the photo at all as it was bound to 'annoy' you. Mind you I don't understand photographing a pint either !
Maybe there were 5 other girls topless that weren't in the picture?
So many possibilities.

OnionKnight · 08/06/2017 20:42

Has he just sent it to you or is in his Snapchat story?

How old is too old for Snapchat btw?

BoredandConfused · 08/06/2017 20:43

I'd have a problem with it BUT the fact that he's posted it where you can see it is telling me that he's completely unconcerned about how you'll react. This says to me that it's innocent. If he was up to no good, he would have been well aware of the boobs!
Flowers

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 08/06/2017 20:43

Ask him to whom the boobs belong.

user1492958275 · 08/06/2017 20:44

I'd feel the same.

For some reason I feel a bit ashamed about it though, my other half is off on a stag do to Amsterdam soon.

I trust him, I do. Never had a worry about him cheating in all our time together (almost 10 yrs!) But I still worry that to much will catch his eye. He doesn't know this though!! If he was there now and sent me a similar picture I'd probably panic.

It doesn't help that 2 of the people he is going with keeps repeating/chanting "what happens in dam, stays in dam" it drives me fucking nuts. It's so rude.

I'd just leave it for now until he gets home tbh. Mention it calmly. You won't get an actual response you want without seeing his facial expressions anyway.

Ahh, relationships!

Oblomov17 · 08/06/2017 20:44

I can't see the problem.
Why would he send it to you, if there was an issue.

NapQueen · 08/06/2017 20:45

Honestly I would just assume that dh and his mates got chatting to a group of girls on holiday too. Bikini is probably because its very hot or a beach bar etc.

rainbowpie · 08/06/2017 20:46

......not seeing a problem.

HS2whattodo · 08/06/2017 20:49

Doesn't this sort of thing happen on all lads/girls holidays? Having a chat with someone in a bar/club/wherever doesn't mean they will be shagging each other within hours. Stop worrying

LittleBeautyBelle · 08/06/2017 20:50

It depends on the picture itself really. Can you post the picture? It only has a pint and part of a picture of a woman, a stranger with no face showing. No disrespect to her, why would it be.

Would be easier to give you our opinions.

misscph1973 · 08/06/2017 20:50

OP, I totally get you. My DH went on a "business trip", and I didn't hear from him for the first 4 days, and during this time his young, female staff were busy posting photos of them all on the beach, in their bikinis, where my DH had a nice firm grip around their waists. My DH does not understand why I want a divorce.

(there is a lot of history, it's not a good marriage, and I have no photos of the two of us where he has his arms around me from the last 10 years)

I am not saying that you should LTB, but I do understand why you feel a bit sick. I suggest you have a calm talk to him where you explain that the photo made you feel upset and hurt. Don't be like me and try to put up a straight face, it doesn't work, and in the long run you will become bitter.

Schleeping · 08/06/2017 20:50

It is a problem he's on holiday having drinks with a woman in a bikini and to top it all off he's posting lechy braggy photos of it online knowing you'll see it. I'd ignore it and have it out with him when he got home.

PolaDeVeboise · 08/06/2017 20:51

I think that you should trust him enough to assume that he's just talking to her. Surely, if it WAS untoward, he would have ensured she WASN'T in the picture?

NapQueen · 08/06/2017 20:52

For all you know theyve made friends with a couple who are on holiday and he didnt even think about the woman in the bikini because shes sat right next to her boyfriend.

tickwhitetick · 08/06/2017 20:55

If you don't trust him break up with him. If you do...actually you obv don't

LittleBeautyBelle · 08/06/2017 20:57

The people who are so hostile on this thread...I bet if it were their husband, they would at least wonder who that person is, kind of what the situation is, just out of curiosity.

ShoesHaveSouls · 08/06/2017 20:59

I would so send what sniv posted.

Original poster
nostringstoholdmedown · 08/06/2017 21:09

So do you have a problem with his single friends talking to women?

Obviously not. They can do as they want.

He also can do whatever he wants. But if he ever cheated (in general) then yes I would leave him.

OP posts:
Original poster
nostringstoholdmedown · 08/06/2017 21:12

Diagram of the photo (cringing that I did this haha) .. the object at the front is the pint and she's holding a glass.

To be upset about a lads holiday photo?
OP posts:
Original poster
nostringstoholdmedown · 08/06/2017 21:13

Oh and sorry to those who asked, he posted on his story and not directly to me.

OP posts:
outabout · 08/06/2017 21:30

Given the quality of the diagram I am sure they are having a chat.
He is certainly 'foolish' for the picture but unlikely to be guilty of anything else.