To be irrationally upset by DH's vote.

[brotherhoodofspam]

Just found out that DH has voted Tory for the 2nd time now. He's doing it tactically as hates SNP but I'd already pointed out to him this morning that labour came 2nd here last time. I know it's stupid but I feel really upset about this. I always thought we had a similar world view and I hate the thought that he's done the whole cliche of turning from a left wing student into a right wing middle class professional. He's really angry with me now for the way I reacted but I wouldn't be the person be married if I just said. " that's nice dear". Just now I'm feeling pretty disgusted with him though. AIBU?

I just cannot imagine being in an intimate relationship with someone whose political beliefs are a mystery to me.

Really?

Governments change all the time.

Labour in 1997.

Coalition in 2010.

Tory in 2015 and the LibDems wiped out.

This tells us people change their minds a d their votes all the time.

YABU.

Your Dh can vote for whoever the fuck he likes,

Get a grip 🙄

Some people really need to grow the fuck up on here.

Right that's it. I am writing a poem about this!

In my youth when I was a bit of a floozy, there were 2 things I had to know about a bloke before we slept together - their surname (fuck knows why) and if they'd ever voted Tory. My ,mates used to joke about it but I wouldn't want to do something so intimate with someone who was the complete opposite of me in the things I cared about the most!

Goodness, how frightfully right-on.

Right that's it. I am writing a poem about this

Good. That should keep you quiet for a while

Taking the piss is funny, but people were starting to argue with you and holding you up as an example of a loony lefty.

Which, as a loony lefty, I found offensive.

So are people really saying that they wouldn't be even a tiny bit disconcerted if their life partner did a complete about turn on something fundamental, like political beliefs, or religion or moral values? Honestly? There's a huge difference between deciding to form a relationship with someone who who thinks very different to you and working it out over the years, and being with someone whose values you share and who suddenly does a volte face. Of course they have a perfect right to -but it has to make a difference, surely?

There's nothing loony about being a leftie CivQueen. Our cause is a noble one. I have a tattoo of Diane Abbott on my heart.

Pink, so if, as a lot of other people have said, I'm not very impressed with any of the parties should I not vote? Or should I vote for what I consider to be, overall, the best option.
Loads of people don't agree with every policy their party supports. It rather suggests a lack of critical thinking if they do.

It depends on whether you are one of these shrill virtue signalling lefties

Phew. It's been at least 5 mins since I read the phrase 'virtue signalling'. I was getting lonesome for it.

Has using the phrase 'virtue signalling' become its own form of virtue signalling?

It's all well and good saying 'grow up' to the OP but I would struggle being married to someone if they had fundamentally different political views to me.

I could get beyond DH voting Conservative if they were offering a Ken Livingstone style centre right manifesto. But if he votes Tory under Theresa May then I would feel like his principles were so out of line with mine and that would jar a little.

I think the meaning if 'virtue signalling' has changed a bit.

Before it was telling someone something for no other reason than to make out you are morally superior.

Now it seems to have been translated in to 'anyone who does not agree with me and says my party does the bad things.'

optionalrationale you might need to change that tattoo.....abbotts out for the foreseeable future

Today 21:13 MaisyPops
It's all well and good saying 'grow up' to the OP

Er telling anyone to grow up is actually AGEIST!!! And anyone being victimised in this manner deserves compensation for being oppressed in such a brutally patriarchal manner.

Bertrand I suspect that political views are not seen as fundamentally important by many people, sadly. They would be up in arms however if their partner switched from shoes off/shoes on, or many other ways of life that are more important to them. I cannot believe that every couple does not have some fundamental aspect of themselves that would be a deal breaker to their partner if this changed.

So are people really saying that they wouldn't be even a tiny bit disconcerted if their life partner did a complete about turn on something fundamental, like political beliefs, or religion or moral values? Honestly?

I could cope with husband voting any of Labour, Lib Dem or Tory. I would find it very difficult to deal with if he voted SNP.

Yes YABU to feel "disgusted" that he's voted Tory.

despite all the anti-Tory comments here and elsewhere, boiled down it's just a different view of how (overall) some folk think is the better way of running the country. Not "best" or "perfect" or "right", just "different".
In your specific case, and mine if I'm honest too, it was tactical as you admit. I don't profess to be a 100% Tory supporter, not in the slightest, but with 30 mins to polls closing it's a decision I'm going to have to make soon. I definitely don't support SNP, neither their stance on Scottish independence, record here or policies. But, and it's a big but, I'm in a constituency where the conservative candidate is the one who stands a genuine (or closest) chance of beating the SNP incumbent. There's many a Conservative policy I don't support ..... but if I'm really honest, the prospect of Scottish independence fills me with a greater, wider-scale fear than many individual policies. Obviously, I know many people won't agree with me ..... that's a democracy though.

However, ignore the politics, and yes if I thought my partner had wildly different ideas on the world then that's a concern. It's not unreasonable his view on the world changes over time, your views change based on your experiences in life. But are his views that different (from yours, or his over time) if he's just voting tactically though?

Right and left in the uk aren't massively different.
If your partner voted BNP then I would understand but Tory is hardly a big deal.
I always struggle with this because people like trump and marine le pen are properly dangerous. Corbyn or Theresa may are not extremists.

"you are entitled to judge him"

No you are absolutely not!! Nor is anyone entitled to judge you on how you vote! This is really screwed up.

Posters need to read up on the basic democratic right to an unimpeded free vote. That includes putting any domestic pressure on any individual. Perhaps this is actually where all the hand wringing abuse truly comes from? Ive told you youre a murdering tory bastard, and you still vote tory!!!!!!!

Were now moving into, youll never see the kids again if you dont vote how I demand you too. I will judge you. What a really unpleasant lot of oppressive bullies.....and thats just aimed at their own family members.

It's about the only 'just about acceptable reason'.

YABU...really not liking this bullying that has come from many Labour voters, shaming and being abusive to anyone not agreeing with their point of view.
I've had people on my Facebook unfriending Tory voters. It's pretty pathetic

Of course you can judge him

You're not stopping him voting

So are people really saying that they wouldn't be even a tiny bit disconcerted if their life partner did a complete about turn on something fundamental, like political beliefs, or religion or moral values? Honestly?

But, Bertrand, I don't think thinking people are just Labour. Or just Conservative. They have a set of beliefs and views, which will develop as the times do and as circumstances change. Put crassly - Tories tend to be socially conservative and economically liberal. Labour stalwarts tend to be socially liberal and economically conservative (in the sense of belief in state intervention). I'm socially and economically liberal. So where do I fit? In a situation where the UK is on the skids because the currency has devalued by 20% and we are about to leave the EU despite a massive current account deficit, I'm inclined to stomach more economically liberal policies. Last time there was a general election I felt differently. Times change. Parties and policies change. Therefore people's votes will - and should - change.

"Shrill" "hysterical" "lefty loony" you'd have sex with people you felt that way about?

"True. So if you can keep your opinions on your finances, your children's school, your local hospital and your Polish neighbour then no one will know your politicsQuite right. All Tory voters are racists plus of course all leave voters. Not many decent people left now, are there. You sound a bit like the woman I followed on Twitter for a while who was the only remain voter in her village and hated everyone else, and just kept up a stream of bile against leave voters. Your politics must be really strange, I must say."

Actually racism is a very good indication of right wing policies which is what the quote in my post asked about.