To be irrationally upset by DH's vote.

[brotherhoodofspam]

Just found out that DH has voted Tory for the 2nd time now. He's doing it tactically as hates SNP but I'd already pointed out to him this morning that labour came 2nd here last time. I know it's stupid but I feel really upset about this. I always thought we had a similar world view and I hate the thought that he's done the whole cliche of turning from a left wing student into a right wing middle class professional. He's really angry with me now for the way I reacted but I wouldn't be the person be married if I just said. " that's nice dear". Just now I'm feeling pretty disgusted with him though. AIBU?

The Mongolian throat singing just isn't working...probably because I am culturally misappropriating ...which is RACIST (as we all know)

I have switched to channelling my grief for you through expressive dance...

If I looked at the 2015 election results in my constituency labour came second behind the snp, but if I look at the local council elections the tories got most first preference votes. I do think Scotland has changed a lot politically since 2015 and it would be a mistake to base tactical voting on that election.

Surely LTB. Or, as I said before, mind your own fecking business.

Open thread with open mind; thinks to self it it might not be another Labour vs Tory thread; disappointed that it indeed is does not bother to RTFT; voted Green today.

I have switched to channelling my grief for you through expressive dance...

😂

YABVU OP. Have you thought about putting your listening ears on? No goading, flaming, or grasping at opportunities to tell him why hes sooooooo wrong, but actually just listening? If you can demonstrate your grown up enough to listen to his view, without judgmental barracking, he may offer you the same courtesy. You never know, you may find new respect for each other. As it is, youll continue with the playground spats, and yep, thats all down to you reacting as you have.

And surely adults understand that people can have a difference of opinion Regardless of what you think, you can't tell a left wing voter from a right wing one unless you talk politics.

True. So if you can keep your opinions on your finances, your children's school, your local hospital and your Polish neighbour then no one will know your politics. I dare say it would be difficult within marriage or with any relationship at all though.

YABU

My family and I voted tory for the same reasons as your DH.

We hate the SNP and were labour voters until Corbyn took over.

Plus we like Ruth!

PS My DH and I have always voted on opposite sides. Weve enjoyed many a late night debate, its part and parcel of us. The kids are equally balanced too.

As someone up thread says...politics should be fluid. We are not living in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s or 00s. My vote has changed along with the world, the country and my own circumstances and those around me. A vote for Corbyn's Labour is not the same as a vote for Blair's Labour and likewise Thatcher, Cameron, May.

I'd be more concerned that my DP was hiding behind an outdated view point rather than giving real consideration to the way that he voted, be it tactical or what he really felt was in the best interests of the nation.

This extreme rhetoric- not liking children, the NHS or the disabled. Use of the terms "repugnant" and "morally inferior", does not help anyone's cause or party. It is more likely to turn those undecided in the opposite direction than towards your own.

I'm a "floater", I've voted this time in line with my DP and my DD, in the past we've voted differently. I'm just pleased that they both considered the alternatives and got off their arses and voted. I respect them far more for that, than sticking to the same old party under the misapprehension that this makes them somehow morally superior.

The silent considered, majority wins elections, not those that shout the loudest and deride others with an alternative viewpoint.

I get his vote. I do not want another independence referendum. Ruth Davidson is the only one who backs this. More Tory votes sends a message to snp. Stop going on about independence and deal with the current problems. I know Tory will never get in in my area though, but I'd consider it purely for that reason!

OP, I haven't read the full thread but honestly, I'd ltb.

I can't believe that people are seriously saying they would leave there dh of numerous years because they voted different to them. All this crap they're not the person I thought (or you think they should be) really the person you've shared your life with, more than likely raised children with etc you would give up for voting against you.

I'd be really disappointed too I'm afraid. It's something I'm very passionate about regardless of what people say... I'd never marry a Tory .

Okay Charmageddon, if you're being deliberately obtuse... people will literally die as a direct result of decisions the Tories have, and will continue, to make. Anyone who votes for them is complicit in those deaths.

I agree with boredandconfused I have voted for all 3 main parties in the past. This time I am considering my teenage DDs and their desire to go to uni without a a huge debt to pay off.

I am astounded by the people saying they would divorce if their DH voted different to them. Would you also disown any children that did the same?

Has the op at any point said she doesn't understand democracy?

I'm just wondering posters have been trying to explain that to her.

I just cannot imagine being in an intimate relationship with someone whose political beliefs are a mystery to me.

DH and I talk about politics quite a bit so it would be pretty clear if we had values that were very different. That makes it sound like we seriously discuss things in a po faced way but it is more like mentioning and discussing things read/watched on TV and our views come out as a result.

For instance we might make a joke about certain politicians/famous person or event and it would be clear from the joke what we think of them/it.

If I radically disagreed with DH on politics I would find it hard to stay married to him. For instance if he suddenly started voting BNP or even UKIP, it would mean he was someone totally different to the man I married. That would be a problem.

Voting Conservative is obviously not in the same league but it is similar in that it would mean DH had changed a lot since I married him. Obviously people change in a marriage but sometimes people post that their partner has got fat and they don't find them attractive any more. Generally the consensus is that this is understandable. F or me DH voting Tory would make me much less likely to fancy him than if he put on weight.

I understand where you're coming from OP.

YABU he is entitled to vote however he wants x

It's a personal choice - it wouldn't bother me at all. I never tell anyone how I vote, not even DH but he generally doesn't vote the same as me. That's fine by me.

I am astounded by the people saying they would divorce if their DH voted different to them. Would you also disown any children that did the same?

I wouldnt divorced my DH if he was voting for another party than me. I'm sure we have voted in different way before.
I would divorce if he was defending ideas that are completely against what I believe.
So eg if I voted green and he was voting Lib dem, I wouldn't qsee that as an issue.
If I was voting labour and he was voting UKIP (and Tory atm) then I yes I would certainly question our future together. Because this would mean we have different values and this would come out in other ways anyway.

Children? Well you can't send them away! But yes I wu D loose a lot of the respect I have for them if they were becoming real extremists for example (regardless of the side fwiw)

Its his choice. Myself and dh voted differently though neither of us voted conservative. You partner voted what he felt was best. Many people tactically voted today. Surely you just respect his right to his own opinion. I would very upset if dh came back and had a go as me for what I voted. As it is both of us are not staunch supporters of one party and have always based it on policies at the time. I know a few people who voted conservative, I certainly wont think they are horrible people for having done so

Statistically women are more likely to be left wing than men so there will be thousands of labour voting wives up and down the country whose husbands voted Conservative.

It depends on whether you are one of these shrill virtue signalling lefties who think they have the moral high ground for wanting to decide how to spend (usually) other people's money.

Some of the kindest people I know are Tories and some of the most selfish people I know are lefties. How about you judge your dh for the person he is rather than your subjective opinion on what is better for society.

If I was your dh and was basically a decent human being and a good husband / father, I'd be the one with legitimate concerns about your behaviour tbh.