To be irrationally upset by DH's vote.

[brotherhoodofspam]

Just found out that DH has voted Tory for the 2nd time now. He's doing it tactically as hates SNP but I'd already pointed out to him this morning that labour came 2nd here last time. I know it's stupid but I feel really upset about this. I always thought we had a similar world view and I hate the thought that he's done the whole cliche of turning from a left wing student into a right wing middle class professional. He's really angry with me now for the way I reacted but I wouldn't be the person be married if I just said. " that's nice dear". Just now I'm feeling pretty disgusted with him though. AIBU?

I would be disconcerted if dh voted Tory (for all I know, he did) mainly because he is so vehement in his loathing of them. I voted Tory once when I was young but never have again, and it's unlikely I ever will. Most of my wider will undoubtedly vote Tory. I still love them.

YANBU. I would be horrified.

I couldn't be married to someone who wasn't Tory. Let us see who wins tomorrow. My 3 sons voted Labour as far as I know and my daughters I think Conservative. We are all still speaking and at least we unite as all remainers.

Wow there's some extreme views on here. Guess I'm just glad we don't live in a dictatorship regime and have the opportunity to vote for the policies we believe the current parties are proclaiming.

That excludes those who always vote for a party just because .... Blair and Corbyn are as different as you can get if you're a staunch labour person.

Therefore I can understand why some people may be thinking about the actual policies, the actual people currently in government who will be delivering the policies and not just default to a historical voting position.

Thankfully we are a democracy and individually can vote for who, individually, we want to. Anything else is a dictatorship.

Loving those of you imposing a dictatorship on your OH

YANBU. Though he could have kept his vote a secret.

fluffy wanting to be married to someone who shares your values is not the same as a dictatorship.

i suggest you go and look up some featuresnof a dictatorship to realise how offensive you sound to people who've lived in a dictatorship.

Hands up, who had started wearing gold epaulettes and imposed a dictatorship on their OH?

In Scotland, a vote for the Tories is a vote for the union, and many Scot are voting for Tories to show Nicola that they do not want a second Indy ref.

This is exactly what I've done, for that reason.

DH is a staunch SNP supporter. We have teased each other but actually our world views don't differ that much. I just really don't want Scottish independence and he does.

Loving those of you imposing a dictatorship on your OH

Right. And equating "I'm upset about how my OH's vote reflects his character" with "I'm imposing a dictatorship on my OH" is not an extreme view at all.

I meant to add, I see no good in supporting a political party in the same way as you might support a football team. Politics should be more fluid than that. Views and priorities change.

Anyone fighting with a partner/spouse over their voting choice is clearly not mature enough to vote

I agree, anyone mature enough to vote knows that a vote will impact people's lives and that therefore, one should divorce immediately if one's spouse votes against human rights.

People who think that voting for a different political party is like supporting a different soccer team clearly knows nothing of politics and should not vote.

And women who would stay with their husbands regardless of how those husbands vote, should not vote, either, as there was a time when MEN COULD VOTE AGAINST WOMEN'S RIGHT TO VOTE!

If you would be okay with your husband voting away YOUR right to vote, then at least practise what you preach and don't vote. You clearly do not value your democratic rights nearly enough.

I can understand that you are upset. I would be too, because voting Tory suggests holding attitudes and beliefs that are repugnant to me, and I would wonder about the person I was married to having those views. Doesn´t mean he can´t vote as he pleases or that no-one can have those views, but personally I would find it hard to share my life with someone who held them.

This. It would be a deal breaker for me if it were the beginning of a relationship, so to have them change after being married for a while would be hard. I don't think it's irrational at all, you feel how you feel!

Yanbu. It's not odd or controlling to be upset that your partner has different opinions regarding politics than yourself, obviously it would be different if you tried to persuade him.

I've been all for "Fk the Tories" this election - but I've never meant it literally

😅

That wins the thread.

Mind your own goddam business.

buzz

I'd say a vote for the Tories is only going to make a second referendum inevitable. It's the only silver lining for me (though I can see why people don't want it.)

Yabvu. Abyway, I'd rather wake up with a Tory than a rabid mn'er who dictates how and why I should vote and assumes I don't have my own brain and the ability to make an informed decision. Or that anybody not voting my way is a brainwashed Murdoch follower (not you but some posters on threads over the past week!)

I would be heartbroken if dh voted Tory. I don't think I could share my life, build my future, with someone who would vote for what the Tories stand for and offer. It would change who I believed him to be. I can never be one of those people who keeps politics separate from everything else. Everything's political (as Skunk Anansie said), and everything is affected by the decisions governments make.

OP I have started vigil for you. What you're going through is truly a tragedy of epic proportions. Don't be surprised if you have PTSD. You deserve compensation.

I am channelling my grief for your situation into Mongolian throat singing, poetry and embroidery.

That evil, vile bastad.....

Everything's political (as Skunk Anansie said), and everything is affected by the decisions governments make.

Yes. And I'm going to be so pissed off with all those people tomorrow who cry 'okay you can shut up now, respect the will of the people and move on', because it's more than just politics. It's literally life and death for some people and I don't want to shut up about it.

I get it OP.

I'd also be worried as well, he says it was tactical but it can't have been if labour were second. Does he actually support Tory but doesn't want to admit it to you?

It's about shared values in a relationship. It would make me think about my relationship.

if the Tories win people are quite literally going to die.

JC really is the second coming!

He can literally halt death?

A vote for labour is a vote for eternal life, who knew?!

Just because Labour was second in the last election doesn't automatically mean they would be this election. 2015 Labour was a very different proposition from 2017 Labour.

(in OP's constituency that is - clearly they will finish either first or second overall)