To be irrationally upset by DH's vote.

[brotherhoodofspam]

Just found out that DH has voted Tory for the 2nd time now. He's doing it tactically as hates SNP but I'd already pointed out to him this morning that labour came 2nd here last time. I know it's stupid but I feel really upset about this. I always thought we had a similar world view and I hate the thought that he's done the whole cliche of turning from a left wing student into a right wing middle class professional. He's really angry with me now for the way I reacted but I wouldn't be the person be married if I just said. " that's nice dear". Just now I'm feeling pretty disgusted with him though. AIBU?

A vote for the Torys in Scotland is NOT a vote against the SNP! If you believe in their policies, then vote for them, but the SNP will be positively wetting themselves with the Yes swing they're expecting in the event of another Tory government. There's a reason the S*n is endorsing the Tories in England and the SNP up here.

In my constituency there are only two candidates with a chance and I vote for one and DW for the other and we don't argue about it. YABU,

Are you seriously equating voting Tory with voting BNP? If so please take a grip from the box

No, please read again. I'm obviously extrapolating the idea that OP's husband is entitled to his views and OP has no right to feel upset about those views, whatever they may be.

To add a bit of levity to proceedings...

Today 18:11 JJBum
To me it would be a bit like a black person married to a white person who became racist...there'd be a core and fundamental mismatch of massive proportions

I can't believe the blatant minimising going on here!! It is far, far, far worse than that. To me it is like my vegan, lesbian, sociology lecturer (whom I love dearly), getting a swastika tattooed on her forehead, going foxhunting with an AK47, headbutting everyone who "looks forrinn", launching cruise missiles at Sweden, spraying DDT into the eyes of rabbits and..and.... losing weight.

UN. FOR...GIV...ABLE

Cameron's Conservatives and New Labour are not useful comparators.

Good point.

YABU.
Me and DH have been together for 15 years. This is the first time we've voted for the same thing. His vote is nothing to do with me - the whole point of a democracy is that his opinion has the same value and weight as mine.
Makes the odd political discussion interesting but we both respect the other so it causes no arguments or catastrophic consequences on our relationship.

My Mum and Dad always voted differently. They just agreed not to talk about it and were married 51 years. We normally vote the same way but I wouldn't mind if DH voted differently, it's his right.

Meh, DP voted Labour...I never. I have no priblem at all with it (and we won't gloat either over the result).
He also loves mushrooms, I don't hold that against him either.

So after the referendum division which damaged a lot of relationships, are we going to go one step further now and start hating people who vote differently to us at General Elections?

If someone is an angry remain voter who hates leave voters and also an angry Labour voter who hates Tory voters, that's starting to be quite a chunk of the population they hate.

I've decided that anyone who's politics lead them to hating anyone with different politics has the wrong politics. It's obvious really.

Nb none of this is aimed at the OP who sounds disappointed /angry and not that she hates her OH.

It's a massive change in world view that would bother me
Yes agree. And for me, the same as is he started to believe in a deity - completely overturns everything we've always fought for, argued for, lived according to.

YANBU at all.

My political views are very important to me and a fundamental part of who I am and my belief system. I would struggle to be married to someone with such a different world view to me. In the same way I wouldn't want to marry someone who was xenophobic, misogynist, classist, greedy or selfish.

In this election the ideological gulf between Labour and Tory is the biggest it's been since the days of Thatcher. It's not the stuff of Blair Vs Cameron.

I couldn't be married to a Tory.

You see, I couldn't be married to someone politically/economically illiterate, but (within a reasonably wide range) I could respect his views if they were well thought out wherever they fell on the spectrum.

Corbyn and his team will bankrupt the country with this spending spree

You do understand that the economy is not like balancing a household budget. spending generates income? Whatever the govt spend becomes somebody else's income which in turn means they spend more which becomes someone else's income and so on and so forth.The trick is keeping the money in the UK and keeping it being spent instead of being saved, and you do this by giving it to the poorest people.
Secondly you are aware that the tory governments have plunged the company deeper into debt despite all their redistribution of wealth to the rich austerity cuts

Crossword there's a pretty big difference between hating someone and not wanting to marry them, isn't there?

I don't hate anyone just because they vote differently to me. I might struggle to understand why they've chosen that decision, and massively disagree with it, bit I could still like them.

But marry them? Raise children with them? Trust them? Believe you will always have a similar belief system to them?

That's different.

My mum and dad vote separately, my dad Tory and my mum afaik votes labour. They don't discuss it anymore as my dad gets really annoyed about how she votes. Seems to work for them!

YABU
I have no idea how dh voted, his vote is his democratic right and no business of mine..

'People, OP does include the word ' irrational' in her title.

Of course we're all prepared to defend to the death the freedom to vote for who ever you see fit.

OTOH, waking up in bed with a Tory voter? '

This.

You are not being unreasonable.

At least he can be comfortable that the worst of Tory austerity inflicted on England and Wales won't impact significantly impact scotland.

So scots Tory MPs will merrily go to Westminster and vote through cuts to education, health knowing they are devolved in scotland and protected by the SNP.

Ruth Davidson said as much in the leaders debate.

As an English person living in scotland that attitude makes me sick. And it's the same fur the Scottish labour MPs who voted through tuition fees in England.

Anyone fighting with a partner/spouse over their voting choice is clearly not mature enough to vote.

And... @optionalrationale wins the thread!

DP and I fight about politics all the time

It was widely believed that Clementine Churchill voted Liberal 9after Churchill rejoined the Tories) and that Attlee's wife voted Conservative.

puglife Yes, there is a big difference and as I said, I am not suggesting the OP hates anyone. I was just picking up on the tone of a few of the other posts, the all Tory voters hate children, that sort of tripe.

But actually I don't think voting differently does necessarily mean you have different values. I know that me and my DH completely share our values. We have just come to different conclusions at this election as to which is the best way to vote to achieve these. Which is absolutely fine.

Voting tory would be a dealbreaker for me. I can tolerate it in aquaintances. Sometimes tolerate it in friends if they have other redeeming qualities, but I couldnt actually have a relationship with someone that had such opposite political beliefs as me. My politics are are core part of who I am