AIBU to be mortified school informed my 5 year old about the terrorist incidents?

[Mumofone1970]

My son is in Year 1 but one of the youngest so is still 5.
Yesterday at school the teacher explained what had happened over the weekend to the class and they did a one minute silence.
I had not spoken to my son about it.
He is 5 years old, I work in London daily and I didn't think him having the weight of that worry was necessary.
I am appalled the school took it on themselves, without asking persmission to tell him.
I only have the one child so this is new to be but so far I am less than impressed with the school system in general but this is above and beyond all my other small issues.

YABU. Once you send your kids to school you have to accept that they will learn about the world. Better for him to learn about it from a teacher who can explain it properly than from a kid in the playground.

No I'm horrified parents expose such young children to such horrific crimes which led their children to be discussing
I'm then horrified the teacher took it upon herself without consulting me to discuss this and hold a silence
Thanks for your input though

You're "horrified" that people talk about the real world to their children?

I'm horrified the teacher then took it upon herself without consulting me to discuss this and hold a silence

I totally respect your right not to tell your son about terrorist incidents. I honestly do, and I'm not looking to be nasty or anything here, just presenting a possible situation.

Children in your sons class are talking about the incident in London over the weekend. One of them asks the teacher about it. Teacher does the, 'yes it did happen, you're right' and tries to move on, but those 4 and 5 year olds are pretty persistent and it's clear some of them have something to say or ask about it (lots of young children ask their teachers about current events they've overheard, it's a common occurrence).

Are you suggesting the teacher shuts down that conversation/topic - bear in mind that speaking, listening and questioning are all prime areas of the EYFS - and tells the class they cannot talk about it as she has to consult the parents of every child to see if any need to be removed before they proceed?

That's not realistic. I'm sorry, but it's not. I've been there when children bring up current affairs in a Reception classroom. It's not an indepth discussion of Newsnight, it's a brief chat at an age appropriate level.

I guess I'm just trying to understand what you would have had the school/teacher do in that situation?

Yes horrified that children aren't being allowed to be children and are watching the news with their parents with death, blood and god knows what else
I would have expected her to stop the conversation, refer them back to their parents for discussion and ask the parents at pick up to speak to their children regarding it if they already were aware and let the other parents know some of the children had mentioned it for the ones who weren't already aware.

Mumofone1970 I'm totally with you - I've tried to shield my year 1 son from the news as much as possible. I don't have the news on the TV until he's in bed.

He did catch a bit of the news after Manchester and I gave him a brief child appropriate explaination and lots of reassurance that it happened a long way away and won't happen here. (It could do, but we live in a rural town rather than a city so not as much of a target).

Yes the world is changing and yes children need to be aware but at 5/6 years old they really don't need to know the awful details that are aired on the news.

Yes - the teacher can shut down the conversation and refer it back to the parents. Just as they would if the child were talking about sex...

Thankyou to above two posters, I really can't see how it's so difficult.
The teacher has had to shut down many a conversation about violent video games some of the children in the class are exposed to so why not this?

Teachers don't discuss the "awful details that are aired on the news". Why would they? But by the time a child comes out with whatever the statement is they've made about whatever you don't want your child to hear about, it's too late - 'shutting down' a conversation then hasn't prevented your child hearing about said incident. So you're still having to deal with it at home anyway.

Also, just to put another point of view - school is the only place some children get to talk and discuss things, to have their thoughts heard and their questions answered.

In the nicest possible way, you can't see how it's so difficult because you've never been in that situation. And the comparison with violent video games isn't a particular good one either - to be completely honest, if a child talks about a violent video game they've played, I'd be interested to hear what they said because it's a safeguarding issue if children are exposed to game content wildly inappropriate for their age. Also, to come back to this point - this actually happened, it wasn't a played out scene in a game.

You can be annoyed it was discussed at school - that's fine, it's not what you'd have wanted - but to be horrified is extreme.

Totally agree with the analogy of shutting down discussion on video games and terrorism being similar. In the lead up to last Halloween, we had it with killer clowns across schools throughout the country. The head talked about it in dds primary school assembly because it was all the children were discussing and dealing with it on a class basis was not proving effective. The children were reassured and talk ceased.

The same approach was not necessary after the recent terror incidents. The day after Manchester, it was dealt with on a class by class basis at dds school. Nothing was discussed in the playground in dds (yr4) earshot after London precisely because a) of how Manchester was dealt with and b) London happened over the weekend and not the night preceding a school day.

I do not agree with the posters insisting all terrorist acts will be discussed in the primary school playground through all age groups. As I know my dd, I know she will tell me if she hears gossip. I would rather she asked me if she hears about anything in the playground than tell her about every single incident. Then I can tell her in an age appropriate way what occurred.

The images of the terrorist act if shown repeatedly are insidious and damaging for primary aged children, which is why I'm choosing not to have the news on every day, which is different from the norm as she usually watches it with me every day.

I remember being petrified when I heard about IRA attacks as a child and I rarely did, it was only if I awoke for some reason and watched the 10 o' clock news with my parents. I certainly didn't need to hear about every detail of every attack.

It's the world they live in, children have to be prepared for the society they are growing up in.

At 5???

I'm completely with you OP. My Yr1 child was pulled out of the class discussion because both school and I thought she wouldn't be able to handle it. We have had a live media shut down at home. Why does a 5 or 6 year old need to know this shit? It's fucked up.

So the school discussed it with you prior?

They sent an email to all parents in the morning, so I had an opportunity to ring beforehand.

maybe an old Chinese granny will think as u do

So you pull a child from a class discussion. How do you stop them overbearing the continued discussion on the playground?

Much better for children to have things explained in a way they can understand, ideally by parents but too many parents avoid that stuff, than to here it via Chinese whispers and then not feel they can talk to any adults about what they have heard.

YANBU - I have a child in Y1 who has anxiety issues. The school, don't see how they manifest themselves as my child holds it in at school. Our therapist specifically told me not to discuss the terrorist attacks with my child, and I have to agree the therapist was right. So I'd be livid, if the school did this.

Is your DS actually upset by this? It seems like a massive overreaction if not. We can't shield our DC from everything that goes on in the world, surely it is better for them to be told in a low key, factual way, to help them deal with it.

I'm just thankful I don't live somewhere like Syria, where the children really don't have a childhood!

My 5 year old DGS was staying explained about the 1 minute silence, and the Manchester bombing, he asked if it was a nuclear bomb, so where did he hear about them, not from us or his Mum, children know a lot more than we imagine.