To be upset my parents will be on holiday on my 40th birthday?

[tootalbugging]

I mean, I know I'm 40 so AIBU to be upset about it? I have three kids, one of whom is only a few months old, so I won't be going away on holiday, was hoping for a family meal to celebrate. They said it can wait til they're back from holiday, ten days afterwards.

They also did this on my 30th birthday, which was shit. DH is the worst person in the world at organising anything, so can 100% rely on him to not bother. To make matters worse, my birthday is a Monday, and the weekend before DH will be away on business.
It's still three months away, but I am already pissed off.

Yes you are BU.

I think everyone is different when it comes to birthdays.

DH and I went away for the weekend alone for my 40th birthday. No family meal or anything. I couldn't tell you where my parents were. But they and DB treated us to the weekend away.

I don't think you are. Lots of people on here will say you are though.

You will be 40 all year . have the meal on their return.

May be time to take a look in the mirror.

Totally unreasonable. You are 40, and throwing a tantrum because your parents won't be there on your birthday?

Do you think it's a deliberate snub by your parents?

I'm sorry, is this a wind up or are you for real?! Absolutely gobsmacked that any adult would get upset over a birthday?!

YABVU. Birthday maybe up to 18, I could see your point but, not as an adult.

You are 40 not 4. If your dh is so useless organise something yourself. Don't have a tantrum because your parents won't be there.

So your husband is crap at this stuff and that nakes it your parents fault they arent picking up the slack?

If your dh got his finger out of his arse, i am sure your parents being away wouldnt feel like such a big deal.

Its an adults birthday. I wouldnt even be upset if my parents were away for my kids birthday.

It's not unreasonable to want the people you love to celebrate a big birthday with you!

Do they have form for this kind of snubbing? Are here other problems in the relationship with your parents? If so hop over to the Stately Homes thread in Relationships. You'll find people there who understand. Oh, and yanbu.

Organise something you would like to do yourself.

Oooh just remembered where my parents were. Looking after our DC. Sorry Mum!

Where do people get "having a tantrum"? There's a few miles of difference between being disappointed and having a tantrum.

also I think your husband needs to step up. Have you spoken to him about it

In the kindest possible way, YABU. Just organise something on their return. The world stops for a 4 year old on her special day, not for a 40 year old.

Have you considered your parents might have purposely booked the holiday for that date because they know how much of a baby you are over birthdays? Probably didn't want the stress of it not being 100% to your liking

YABU! Organise something yourself. Your husband and kids will be there. Invite some friends and have some fun!

Do your DP'S make a thing of their own big birthdays? That you have to attend? If they do then I think you have a point. Otherwise I think yabu.

This is a wind-up, surely? 40yrs old and effectively saying, Mummy and Daddy know my husband is rubbish so should pick up the slack.

OP, you sound like a petulant teenager.

Do you really have to celebrate on the day? Can you not just go out for a meal with your DH/DC on the day and have a birthday meal with your parents after? Where i live a lot of the restaurants have 40--50% off food on Mondays so that's a big bonus!

I really don't get the big deal with adult birthdays. My parents didn't even phone me to wish me a happy birthday on my 40th (or my 30th for that matter) but i don't hold it against them. That's just the way they are and there's no changing them.

Surely it's upto you/your partner to organise something now you're married and away from home?

Not your parents' fault your DH is useless at that kind of thing.

You sound like those strange people I remember from university whose parents used to visit so they could do their washing and bring 'cooked good'.