I WIN MUMSNET WEDDINGS

[FuckyDuck]

So we all love a good wedding thread 'it's not a summons, it's an invitation'..
We have been 'invited' to a wedding WEEK in the USA, prices starting from £3k, with 5 organised events, each with their own dress code, and given a link to the Amazon wish list/registry where the cheapest item is >£300! Children are welcome on the holiday but not at the ceremony, and we're to chip in to the brides accommodation the night before the big day to show her our love?!

Total costing is £5,500 for a WEEK.

So, come on, what do I win??

Thanks SnorkMaiden

You're all heart

I've been invited to a couple of US weddings like this. Five days of parties and receptions and dinners hosted by family, godparents and friends. Out of towners dinners, rehearsal dinner, something at the country club, sporting activity. I don't think guests would have spent a dime other than accommodation once actually there. Each wedding invite was accompanied by a handful of other beautifully printed and tasteful invitations to these other events. The stationery alone was mind blowing. Both times I was too poor to go, and I do regret it.... (close friends though, and I did send a gift from the registry which in one case was a solitary fork but it was an Hermes fork for $100!)

@TidyDancer thanks for the glue update!

WTF...!!! You either know some cheeky demented people, or some really rich ones. Either was I'd be sending them a personalised RSVP back, of you sticking up your middle finger to their invitation!!

It's not Maui

Waves to Tidy

I am a bit concerned that Mr FuckyDuck is a weak link. He has called the groom and asked if any of his other friends are going? Doesn't sound much like a "Fuck! No!" to me.................

Tee Hee you have made me smile - thank you

My sibling married an American in America. The sister of the American acted as a witness, and turned up in a cardigan, t shirt and leggings.Her daughter didn't even bother to support her heaving bosom with a bra. Her nipples are definitely the most outstanding feature of the wedding photos. Our gang were conspicuous on the subway in full wedding garb with hats, bridesmaids in full length dresses plus pageboys and men in kilts. The marriage didn't last. The holiday was great though.

Please, please, please print out this entire thread and include it in the card when you decline

Wow!

Dear Not quite married

Thank you for the multiple invites to your wedding bash. Much as we would love to attend, unfortunately I have (delete as appropriate);

• an intense fear of flying
• a criminal record that prevents entry into the US
• another holiday booked
• another wedding in Australia / Russia / Outer Mongolia that week
• allergy to taffeta / silk / sun that brings me out in hives
• never heard of you or your Family but did laugh at how entitled you sound
• a firm footing in reality
• an irritable bowel that would NOT allow me to fly that far without severely impacting on others on the flight and at your wedding reception
• more sense

I do hope you have a lovely day / week / life together.

(Or a simple "yer having a larf so NO).

Ugh, they are clearly inviting everyone they've ever said 'hello' to because they know damn well 99% of the people invited won't come, but probably 20% will send cash to fund their US extravaganza.

Invitations can get lost in the post you know!

No proofy, no troophy

Do the couple live in America? If so, that's not particularly unusual. Obviously most of their guests won't be having to stump up for air fares.

DH is still querying why I'm so dead against this he has been informed that we will not be DTD until he realises it's a farce and we will not be a part of it. YY to the poster who said he was a weak link (bless him)

We've heard through the grapevine that the grooms best friend (also Best Man) is not able to attend, they've not even offered him a reduction is the cost of the hotel! Bloody awful people, I bet the weddings over before the DVD has been produced.

You should reply 'We'd love to come but unfortunately the Mumsnet jury said no'

What are these 5 events? can you give us a brief?

I would just reply with 'hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, no.'

Just reply to them "we're afraid mumsnet says No" with a link to this thread.

There was a young couple getting hitched
And demanded some money be pitched
Said give us 5k
And come if you may
But instead the invitation got ditched.

Sorry, I can't think of a more suitable reply for you to give. Are the bride and groom mainlining toilet duck by any chance?

Please please please gift them an oxfam goat. It would be perfect!

Not an Oxfam goat, an Oxfam toilet.

I'm going to be very controversial here and say you absolutely must go. And livetweet it. Because it's bound to be hilarious. We'll crowdfund it!

That's more than my wedding cost!