I WIN MUMSNET WEDDINGS

[FuckyDuck]

So we all love a good wedding thread 'it's not a summons, it's an invitation'..
We have been 'invited' to a wedding WEEK in the USA, prices starting from £3k, with 5 organised events, each with their own dress code, and given a link to the Amazon wish list/registry where the cheapest item is >£300! Children are welcome on the holiday but not at the ceremony, and we're to chip in to the brides accommodation the night before the big day to show her our love?!

Total costing is £5,500 for a WEEK.

So, come on, what do I win??

So you barely know them and havent been in touch for years?

So you are tier D guests then after almost everyone from tiers A to C have turned down their invites, or its a gift grab.

I think its probably a mix of the two. Upshot is that they are going to have a handful of people who are sick of the sights of each other after 5 days of enforced "fun".

Send the goat.

Or a bucket of worms.

Yeah I see "pics or it didnt happen" as a "NO WAY!!!!" kind of thing, shock that someone could be so crass not that we dont believe the OP.

Olenna I've lived here in the USA for more than a decade and I can assure you this is NOT the norm unless your name is Kardashian. Never heard of a 'black tie' rehearsal dinner. It's usually a relatively modest dinner at a local restaurant, more often pizza and beer in a relative's back garden and is confined to the bridal party and close family who are taking part in the wedding itself - i.e. they don't summons the entire guest list. I've never been asked to pay for the bride's hotel, nor given a dress code for 5 separate wedding events. If there's a shower or bachelorette they usually take place a couple of weeks before the wedding and again are restricted to the bride's close friends and family. Sometimes there's a few guests who meet for brunch the day after the wedding if lots of people are staying at the same hotel but again it's come if you want and casual dress.

Is anyone going to go at that cost?
What if no one comes so they have to cancel?

It reminds me of the Welsh wedding when the price kept going up as more people pulled out.

This is hilarious. Thank you. Getting married next year and determined to keep it as low-key as possible because, as one pp has said: no-one really gives a f**k about your special day apart from your very closest friends and I like to bear that in mind 😂

It does sound more likely to be a joke invitation!
Is the old work friend really getting married - or is this a workplace wind up?

In any case - I agree with those above who suggest treating it as an ingenious trick.

Well you don't need to be told not to go!!!!

Is anyone going to go at that cost? What if no one comes so they have to cancel?

That may well be what's happening, and they're reaching out for more distant friends, just in case.

This is fucking hilarious. I'm always so sad that my friends are mostly sane when I see things like this, I'd love to get one.

Response: treat it like a ridiculous work conference.

"Dear Old Acquaintance

How kind of you to think of us! As I'm sure you're aware our jollies wedding budget is tight this year - is there any funding available? Where should I send the application for the studentship?

Alternatively, I'd love to help out as a volunteer to cover the cost of my place - is this available as an option? I am an experienced bridesmaid and my DH has ushed at countless weddings.

Yours totally sincerely,
Baffled OP."

Eeek - you don't have to justify why you are turning down an invitation.

I agree but in this case I would want them to know why.

"SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius but if she finds out there's a link for the people who can't make it to watch we can all see it in real time!!"

An even better idea, @RuggerHug!!

I wouldn't go.
Couldnt afford it and it sounds like hard work!

Oh my friends went to a wedding like this in Las Vegas last year (they are minted). It was every bit as awful as it sounds.

I see it as a new reality show. Just a one off series.

You could make a lot of money out of it, OP.

However you decline, I'd be inclined to send a link to this paper

Though maybe shifting wedding costs onto the guests helps?

Hmmm, I think I'd see
1-is the wedding in a location I'd like to visit?
2-is the hotel/rental car cheaper than I could get on my own?
3-if so, could I accept then bugger off in the rental car to do something fun instead of attending the nuptial extravaganzas?
4-bonus points for being able to sneak into venues to eat the free food.

The first thing I thought when I read the OP was "Well, this is either a Kardashian wedding or they're from Texas".

No matter how you decline please give them an Oxfam goat (or three) for a wedding present.

You don't have to give a reason just decline!

Destination weddings have an average 15% acceptance rate. So 85% of replies will be declines.

Dear xxx,

Thank you for the invitation. Unfortunately we will not be able to attend due to not having more money than sense.

Yours sincerely

This is fantastic, these wedding stories are just getting crazier and crazier.

I'd send the invite back with a note attached stating it must have been sent to the wrong address as no friend of yours would expect so much.

So an update from DH, it transpires the brides uncle owns a hotel, which is where the wedding is being held, so the wedding day for them is free, BUT the guests have to pay the full market rates! He called the groom to check whether any of the rest of their old team had been invited (he was debating splitting a villa)

I have been belly laughing reading all your creative declines - I'll be sending them an oxfam goat for sure. Honestly can't upload the invite or attached pages without outing myself, as the background of the paper is a photo of the bride, groom and their 2 charming but illegitimate children. (quote - Hugh Grant)

I do feel for you, as I recently spent about £1000 to go to a friend's wedding and multiple hen dos. Lovely friend, lovely events, but perhaps I should have said no to some of it....

But yes, you win!

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT!???!! The bride's uncle owns the hotel, and guests have to pay full rates???

It's a fucking moneymaking scam, then?
Good as. The cheeky, cheeky bastards.
Oxfam goats are too good for them.

It just gets better and better!

They are scrabbling around to find some poor saps from his old 'team' who probably havent seen him in years to pay for the hotel etc as everyone else they know has declined to go to the farce.