I WIN MUMSNET WEDDINGS

[FuckyDuck]

So we all love a good wedding thread 'it's not a summons, it's an invitation'..
We have been 'invited' to a wedding WEEK in the USA, prices starting from £3k, with 5 organised events, each with their own dress code, and given a link to the Amazon wish list/registry where the cheapest item is >£300! Children are welcome on the holiday but not at the ceremony, and we're to chip in to the brides accommodation the night before the big day to show her our love?!

Total costing is £5,500 for a WEEK.

So, come on, what do I win??

@FuckyDuck oh gotta love a bit of Grade A Capatalism 😂

Two of my friends have been to similar weddings in the States recently, so it is clearly A Thing.

One of them received an invitation that was a message on a brand new iPhone especially personalized for them. Beat that

Just tell them you're banned from the USA following a youthful indiscretion.

I vote for this. To the point with a touch of mystery....

One of them received an invitation that was a message on a brand new iPhone especially personalized for them

That is impressive! I wouldnt mind going to a wedding if I got paid with an iphone for it!

I agree with Eek about justifying why they are not going. They dont have to but I would want them to know why too. Although the message about not having more money than sense is probably my first choice and following up with an itemised costing if they replied!

So an update from DH, it transpires the brides uncle owns a hotel

Do any of Donald Trump's siblings have children?

Cheeky fuckers

it transpires the brides uncle owns a hotel, which is where the wedding is being held, so the wedding day for them is free, BUT the guests have to pay the full market rates!

That is GOBSMACKING.

*I'm intrigued at the five different events with different dress codes. I realise this shows a lack of imagination on my part.

Oh, come on!

Surely you've been to the traditional:-

1. Underwater wedding rehearsal with optional barracuda wrestling (Wet suit, flippers, mask and aqualung)

2. "Slumming it" in the most dangerous and drug-infested part of town (with the opportunity to get "shanked" or shot while trying to make drugs deal). (Hoodie, soiled sneakers, stick-on needle tracks, pee'd-on baggy low-crotch jeans hanging around the hips, and torn tee-shirt with vomit down the front)

3. Steer-roping on a "dude" ranch (blue jeans, cowboy boots, brightly colour checked shirt with contrasting fringes, and over-size stetson- yeeeee-hah!)

4. Benefit dinner for Donald Trump's many charitable interests - diamanté-encrusted ballgown for the li'l lay-dees and tail coats and patent leather dancing shoes for the men

5. Fire-and-Brimstone evangelical church pastor promising you hell and damnation if you don't fund the Bride and Groom's children through college (modest, neck-to-knee-length dresses for the ladies in a variety of depressing crimpeline prints, and sober suits with button-down collar shirts for the men, with a tie (not bootlace)). (You will also be expected to contribute at least$100 dollars to the collection plate for this one.)

You beat me to it Seneca. I was going to ask if it was her uncle Donald.

Holy fuck.

So they have kids together, want to have some fanciful white wedding overseas as if they've not been together for years, and not invite their kids to the ceremony?

And then have the balls to say "We want to have another one and it would be nice if our wedding guests could find this?"

Just, holy fuck.

I can't believe your H even considers going to this shit.

@HappyFlappy
I'm tired, I apologise for my lack of imagination. But have you forgotten the strip club event, with bride and groom pole dancing?

Oh Bollox, Snorkmaiden. I had forgotten the pole-dancing etc. But as they will be bollock-naked for this, I don't suppose it counts as requiring a different dress code.

So revolting. If you want a wedding on this scale you should damn well pay for everything not foist the costs off on your guests. Screams desperate social climbers.

They aren't nearly as good as they think they are.

They aren't nearly as good as they think they are

A fact that will become clear when they have more staff than guests at the wedding!

That would be very very funny. I actually think we should all chip in for OP to go. I've got a quid somewhere.

I want to hear more about these awful people.

How come if her uncle owns the hotel yous have all to pay for her accommodation there the night before 😅😂 how much is the accomodation the night before that all guests need to donate cash for it.

"Unfortunately we will not be able to attend due to not having more money than sense."

Perhaps more succinctly worded as "... not able to attend due to having more sense than money"?!!!!

They don't actually expect or want your attendance op. It's just bad form to ask for a £300 gift without an invite.

Reply with a voice mail of maniacal laughter and then 'NO'.

Dear (inserttwatsnames)

I'm sorry were unable to attend your wedding as we are worming the cat that week.

Did someone say Mumsnet wedding?!

Well fuck me. I thought my gluezilla was bad. Am happy to endorse your win as Mumsnet international wedding champion!

@HappyFlappy you win

Your dh isn't actually going is he??