have i reached the height of middle class pretension ?

[Gowgirl]

I've just realised I'm julienning carrots and cucumber for the moppets to dip in organic bloody hummus while admiring my shiny new bottle of craft gin.

Then I realised that they probally wont eat their fish fingers and chips now, and I spent all day mumsnetting so the house is a shit tip!

Feel free to add your own

I did cringe slightly when DS (6) asked what Organic meant and why was it written on all our shopping

yeas ago when Ds was at primary they did the sandwich making lesson why? and when asked what he wanted to take for a filling asked for smoked salmon and watercress nearly every one else had peanut butter, ham or nutella.

My friend is a school teacher and she asked a child in reception what their favourite food was and she said 'sea bass with balsamic'.

My DS's favourite meal at 9 was calamari, followed by steak frites and then a creme brulee..... My DD was mussells.

I'm reminded of the late Alan Clark's utterly snobbish but still glorious put down of (I think) Michael Heseltine as the sort of man who has to buy his own furniture.

If that applies to you, or if you have to think about why it is a put down, then no you are still oiks.

I am so confused I can't tell if you are all joking or not..This reads like a 'How posh are we?!' kind of post. .

I once had a 6 year old round for tea. conversation went as follows

Me: What would you like to eat ? Do you have a favourite food?
Child: Langoustines
Me: Oh lovely! I've got fishfingers, will that do?

I spent a couple of hours yesterday deciding whether DH and i should have the bedroom overlooking the pond or the one overlooking the stone statue when we've built the new wing of the house. Decided the later, as the former also overlooks the vicarage coach house

My 3 year old constantly asks if things are gluten free or declares them gluten free. I hag expect a hipster child.

On Saturday, we were queueing at a little place that sells homemade ice lollies in hipster flavours like pink mojito and matcha. A boy of around 7 walked past and asked his dad, "Are those artisanal?" When dad replied "yes" the boy wrinkled up his nose and said he wanted a Magnum. A child after my own heart!

I am so confused I can't tell if you are all joking or not..This reads like a 'How posh are we?!' kind of post. .

I don't think it's a joke thread. My cat's favourite food is scallops (that is true)

TooGood,

"I am so confused I can't tell if you are all joking or not..."

Well I am, and Catherine Tate/ Posh Mum most definitely is (upthread)...can't speak for anyone else, though

BBCK

You may have entertained DS! He loves seafood and took to langoustines etc at an earlier age.

Mind you, he's 15 now, it's all Nutella sandwiches and Doritos, and anything tasty is "doicent ". How the mighty are falling.

Grabs the Rainbow Drops and pulls up a Cheap Seat...

I water my geraniums with Voss.

Give it to my cocker spaniel too.

In my son's nursery in London, I saw (in the space of a single week):

a mum's coat (Acne label showing),
a Daunt books cloth bag, and
a bag from the La Fromagerie cheese shop

^ (Though, to clarify, I definitely wasn't joking about envying chickenowner her Tudor cottage...sounds gorgeous, and my idea of a perfect home).

the best one i heard was in stratford upon avon we were looking in a shop window and two old dears stopped and one said to the other one "oh look at the darling antiqoos"

Is it possibly to actually cringe yourself inside out?

Like physically be so embarrassed by reading a thread that you may curl inwards?

Should I call 101? Diagram on request...

They sell all this food in fucking ASDA

We took the DCs to Skegness for a day trip last summer. They've been pretty fortunate when it comes to travelling and DH is a bit of a snob when it comes to seaside resorts. The DCs adored Skegness, loved the rides, loved eating chips from an actual bucket, loved it all. We were sat on the beach while the DCs played in the sand and enjoying our day when DS1 (who was 10) turned around to DH and loudly declared "Daddy, Daddy, can you smell that?". DH sniffed and said "what can you smell, mate?" and DS1 shouted "I can smell parma ham, oh my goodness they sell parma ham in Skegness".

It was the bacon frying in the mobile cafe he could smell. And that was when I realised we had become pretentious. Every family within a 3 mile radius turned and stared at the most precocious 10 year old on earth. And DH hated the place so much he almost needed counselling when we went home.

Is it possibly to actually cringe yourself inside out?

Like physically be so embarrassed by reading a thread that you may curl inwards?

Should I call 101? Diagram on request...

They sell all this food in fucking ASDA

Think mine was when my 5yo dd came down stairs and asked the delivery man "mr man, have you got my brioche". At 5 I thought breakfast was cereal covered in sugar or toasted white sliced bread. Her other classic today, "Tabitha said she had a raincoat like mine, I told her it doesn't have a little rabbit so it doesn't count" 🙊🙈

Had to copy that from kato... I'm cringing so much from this thread I have in fact turned inside out and currently typing using my appendix

KatoPotato I'm pretty sure everyone is just having a laugh. I don't think anyone genuinely thinks eating hummus or asparagus makes them posh. At least that's how I'm reading it...

Our oven has a quinoa setting

I thought I was middle class until I read this thread. Then, I realised that I didn't know what crudites actually were, and I haven't heard of any of the brands (apart from Landrover), so concluded I must be w/c.