have i reached the height of middle class pretension ?

[Gowgirl]

I've just realised I'm julienning carrots and cucumber for the moppets to dip in organic bloody hummus while admiring my shiny new bottle of craft gin.

Then I realised that they probally wont eat their fish fingers and chips now, and I spent all day mumsnetting so the house is a shit tip!

Feel free to add your own

Nah... blushy faces and monkeys covering their eyes? 80% irony free I'm afraid!

Surely some of the locals near Mumsnet Towers can join this thread, after all they are in Highgate?

My 4yo asked for an aubergine in Sainsbury's the other day "because I love moussaka, mummy, it's my favourite"

Emojis can also be used in jest.

I remember taking my eldest two for an overnight stay at a Holiday Inn whilst their father was speaking at a conference. Receptionist smiles and says hello to my little blonde moppet who then asks (rather sweetly) "Where's the man that carries my bag?".

DD3 sitting in the trolley at Waitrose (where else?) 'Can we go to the olive bar now please Mummy?' while demolishing a bar of Lindt 90 percent cocoa chocolate. Ditto 'Mummy don't forget my samphire!'.

While getting my freebie Waitrose (crack laced) coffee (yes it's that bloody addictive), DD3 scoffing a handful of repulsive seaweed sheets (which smell like a mermaid with galloping crotch-rot) gets asked by a (fit) bloke 'ooh what are you eating?' to which Little Lady Fauntleroy replies 'seaweed nibbles'. I had to do a blustering 'oh they are foul, she is the one with the sophisticated tastes in our family' hand wringing embarrassed speech, instead of 'owning' (gah i hate that expression) my exceedingly high maintenance DD and her fancy ways (thanks Nannie and Grandad!).

Not sure if the fact my child was stuffing her face while at the supermarket might have somewhat dented my middle class credentials as I've always thought this very 'yuck' (until I had my own child and realised I knew jack shit until then)?

No wonder people take the piss out of Mumsnet.

Emojis can be used in jest.

They certainly can. When something's funny.

Surely the joy of mn is that we take the pics out of ourselves...?
DC are devastated as the jacuzzi is broken.

Rather than sneering, you could just not read it if it makes you cringe that much.

Piss, obviously. Damn you, autocorrect.

To be fair the diva demands of DD are preferable to the blush inducing 'Hello Dad' (to any man she took a fancy to) and 'Wine. Mummy loves wine' my supermarket visits used to be accompanied by as well as the 'BOOBS' we'd get constantly while bra shopping.

I had half a tin of Heinz macaroni cheese for tea after driving home in my 12 year old bartered Peugeot with a fan that doesn't work. Don't think I fit the MN demographic any more!

MrsWooster thank you - that made me actually LOL - devastated and jacuzzi don't belong in the same sentence

I overheard a dad to his daughter yesterday at the pool, the daughter was barely 18 months, mumbled a bit but couldnt form words- yet somehow he knew what she was asking for and said quite loudly to anyone who had ears within a 1 mile radius, i'm sorry, we only have brioche, would you like to share some brioche with me. yes you would, you d love a bit of brioche don't you.
After 2 bites in he then decided to ask if it was scrumdiddlyumptious.

I noticed ds (4) doing the same open mouthed staring thing I was

My dd1(7), asked dd2(5) 'how are your piano lessons going?' This was after they spent the day horse riding.

As you were...

Jennifer, I think that's the point. And our Peugeot is nearly 10, if that helps at all.

I have nothing to add as live in the north east with no waitrose within 50 miles. Enjoyin reading the thread and how the other half live.

You can buy most of the food on this thread in the North East in Asda.

Great thread, the most amusing of the week. I suspect I am guilty as charged, of all of it!

@ohmybadger - which oil is it?!

my daughter's would rather have a salad with quinoa, avocado and haloumi than a Macdonald's. And fruit juice. From M&S(cos the asda one smells funny). They won't touch coke or fizzy drinks. (weirdos! They both love humus.
I didn't eat avocado, humus, quinoa etc until I was well into adulthood. And was shocked when I discovered that salmon comes from places other than the John west tin!

I say everyone should keep their posts coming: serious/ 100% genuine/ grain of truth but exaggerated/ parody/ comedy/ utter deluded fantasy: who cares?

Entertained me on a cold, wet Monday evening.

Possibly for unintended reasons.

Thanks all!