have i reached the height of middle class pretension ?

[Gowgirl]

I've just realised I'm julienning carrots and cucumber for the moppets to dip in organic bloody hummus while admiring my shiny new bottle of craft gin.

Then I realised that they probally wont eat their fish fingers and chips now, and I spent all day mumsnetting so the house is a shit tip!

Feel free to add your own

I think you mean conspiratorially

How about hiding an expensive bottle of olive oil (originally bought to make homemade mayonnaise for a picnic for the opera) from the au pair, cause she goes through it like water and I wanted enough to drizzle on my mozzarella di bufala at the weekend.

Beat that, haters!

Describing anything as "scrummy" ought to get you shot in my book.

Harsh, perhaps, but effective.

Actually Ocies wins.

ThaliaLuxurySpa

I married well

When DS was little he was quite annoyed at having a ham sandwich in his packed lunch. So I asked what he would have preferred, "A bento box, of course, mummy!"

Scampi agreed

When we were children I remember my brother shouting across a large, busy carpark...

'Mum, will Dad be in the Volvo or the Mercedes tonight?'

I think you meant batonnet, or possibly even jardiniere. Julienne carrots would be far too bendy for dunking....

Many moons ago I was in a sandwich shop asked my daughter who was young at then time would she like a sandwich she replied do they have fresh crab?
We had just came back from a holiday in Jersey where she loved this but there was a bit of eye rolling from customers as we were now in Greigs.

Having to sacrifice my dressing room so we can fit a second child in our four bed house 😎 we're twats.

I'm not seeing anything that special about Hatley coats - what am I missing?

I realised that I had truly scaled the heights of pretentiousness when, during a picnic at a National Trust property, one of my children uttered the line "I'll have manchego on the the spelt and rye mum."

Fortunately we slid back down the social ladder when the hunter and barbour clad family on the next table were discussing us and the husband asked the wife if we were known in her "set". She replied "God no. She's too fat to ride and they just got out of a Vauxhall".

We have an English Heritage AND a National Trust membership. Beat that!

Julienne carrots are like matchsticks so I'm not sure that's been used correctly.

I am middle class but my dc are not if their food choice is anything to go by!

I had to drive DS down the road to practice on his bike as the private drive we live on has been freshly gravelled and his little legs can't cope until it 'settles'.

I should obviously spend the afternoon running the car up and down it until it's the perfect consistency but we went trampolining instead

Just washed and displayed my aunt's NAO ballerinas for the first time since they came into my possession 6 years ago.

There's no hope for me now.

Pass the ( hyacinth) bucket!

We were at a school friends party where the entertainer asked the children to think of somewhere hot. One of my children shouted out 'Sevilla' (not even just Seville) and the other shouted 'Antibes'. Eldest was 4 at the time.

Today I was comparing different models of Range Rovers as a nice decent sized family car. I was very disappointed that apparently the Evoque has a shit boot.

The Evoque is an insult to the LR badge! It's a car not a gas guzzling pedestrian squishing beasty, I have no idea why they are made!

(Although I admit to liking the Discovery Sport!)

But Dowser, does that fire (swallows hard) plug in?

Canklesofglitter - That's hilarious!

I laughed at my middle class husband shouting in from the kitchen, "Eddie, I can't find the asparagus... Oh, hang on, it's here, behind the cheeseboard." He can't see why I found it funny.

We will only buy Bosch appliances, from John Lewis if available, due to previous customer service/appliance torment. We are the kind of dicks that may say, "it really is worth spending the extra money for piece of mind."

This reminds me of a colleague who thought she was middle class as she drank red wine and ate bruschetta.

Unfortunately her continual use of "I seen..." and "I done..." and "I have went..." said otherwise.

I am in awe of the cat that likes olives

The fact that I'll only eat fresh strawberries and fresh cream and turn my nose at something else!