have i reached the height of middle class pretension ?

[Gowgirl]

I've just realised I'm julienning carrots and cucumber for the moppets to dip in organic bloody hummus while admiring my shiny new bottle of craft gin.

Then I realised that they probally wont eat their fish fingers and chips now, and I spent all day mumsnetting so the house is a shit tip!

Feel free to add your own

Unfortunately I have a choky child, seriously she can manage to choke on water, so everything is wafer thin! The I , I will put down to the noise level in this house and my inability to preview posts cause I cant be arsed but literally crying at some of these....

By definition if you have work for a living, you're working class. That's most people except those who claim benefits long-term or have a private income.

No such thing as middle class.

There are however bad-mannered aspirational snobs, such as the person who made the rude comment about the poster above who was too fat to ride and had got out of a Vauxhall.

And I guess there is the "more money than sense" category. But that doesn't apply to buying good brands, as you often get what you pay for, and it's actually more cost-effective.

But the rest of us just want nice things, nice being in the eye of the beholder.

As for This reminds me of a colleague who thought she was middle class as she drank red wine and ate bruschetta - did she know how to pronounce bruschetta though?

I'm still reeling in disbelief that Jo Malone are discontinuing my favourite bath oil.

My son was given a slice of cake by his Granny when he was 4 and asked her where her cake forks were.

n

I asked if we had ketchup at both houses the other day (at least it wasn't Parmesan).

My three year old daughter, in a fish and chip shop for the first time, asked if she wanted vinegar on her food, before they wrapped it answered " oh yes, balsamic please"

I will forever be thankful that I am nothing like you people on this thread.

I have an ice-cream maker - a nice posh one, that you DON'T have to put in the freezer and it has only been used to make Prosecco sorbet.

50 shades, she didnt ask for a Wally then?

Hatley is the epitome of tat tbh, I'm surprised it is still cool in places.

DD said her favourite food is tofu. We've spent the last few weekends at children's arts festivals and tonight we ate seaweed chips.

We're not middle class though.

I'm feeling very guilty right now, as although we spent £40 on shoes and sandals in Clarks, went to the park and then the organic cafe for lunch this morning, (all in his Hatley coat & Joules wellies) my 2yr old had had the iPad for an hour so I can mumsnet, sort the washing & do an online Ocado shop.

Major guilt trip.

50Shadesof EarlGrey

I think it's quite interesting that there are so many of us working class oiks with very middle class children; presumably quite a few of us are "first in the family to go to uni". Sadly social mobility is decreasing though.

Lookforthelight If I'm honest I'm glad I can't think of anything that that makes me middle class, but these are very funny!

I sat and read a book whilst my cleaner was ironing!

In my defence I haven't been very well recently but it still made me cringe

lookforthelight

I'm with you.

It does :-)

tinkly I think you're right with the first at uni social mobility idea - that's our family too.

I found it faintly embarrassing when dd1 asked for a brioche for breakfast aged 2 and as I tore lovely strips of fresh mozzarella for preschool Dd2 packed lunch today...

But why is this embarrassing? Maybe because I hadn't even heard of/eaten either of those foods until well into my 20s? And my childhood favourites (sugar sandwiches anyone?) are a no-go these days?

I read or have coffee whilst my cleaner irons. I bought a Joules top for me today!!

When DS was about eight he was on first-name terms with the staff of Waterstones in Hampstead.

You can make anything sound middle class though...

I could say we spent yesterday with my parents at a charity fete, after a lunch of crusty bread, cheese and crudités. The children wore their gender neutral macintoshes and behaved impeccably. We then had a homemade roast lamb; we drank sparkling presse but the children had individual bespoke squashes.

In reality, he bread was a bit stale, we used up the last of the cucumber and presliced carrot sticks, and the kids had Dairylea triangles. Then we walked to the local fair, had Mr whippy ice cream and saw a chip pan fire demo. The children's jackets were horrendous shiny Spiderman numbers and they behaved well under the bribe of a ride on the Frozen-themed Giant Swing at the funfair. Mum made a roast and we had Schloer and limited edition peach Fruit Shoots.

A few years back, I asked my kids if they fancied salmon sandwiches for tea and the youngest piped up, is the salmon smoked? I burst out laughing!

OP,

To attain peak pretentiousness level, you need to find yourself uttering (in very earnest, definitely not self-mocking, tones):

"When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat."

• Gwyneth Paltrow, 2011, direct quote from her cookbook