Men in changing rooms

[TheWernethWife]

Went shopping yesterday, popped into a well known women's shop and there was a man in the changing room. When I asked why he was there the assistant looked at me like I had three heads and said he was probably helping his wife and most people wouldn't be bothered. Well I was bloody bothered.

The discussion seems to be split into women who are wary of men and women who are not, and I bet that the women who are wary are that way for a reason - because men in our lives have behaved in a way that causes us to be fearful of them.
And it's not just a few women, which means that it's not just a few men.
Changing rooms are a place where we are especially vulnerable because we are removing our clothes and I believe that I have the right to do that without feeling uncomfortable.

I'm not wary or fearful of men, I have no reason to be. I don't feel vulnerable in changing room with or without men around.

I just don't want them in women's changing rooms. Why is that so difficult for some people to understand.

No one upset about this - as I said I don't find it necessary, but appreciate others may.
I was referring particularly to posts upthread saying things like "why does she need a man's approval/permission to buy something?", "why did the wife need his help to shop? That couple needs to get a grip." (Ok, re-reading there arent as many of those as my original post made out, it just got my back up the idea in some early comments that asking for a second opinion from - gasp! - a man makes you a downtrodden 40s wife.)

A man does not belong in a women's changing room. Some women may be OK with it if there is a curtain in between but others will not and they have a right to feel safe.

I realise that disabled shoppers may be with a carer of the opposite sex but the shop should make some provision for them.

I bet that the women who are wary are that way for a reason - because men in our lives have behaved in a way that causes us to be fearful of them.

I get the inverse of this assumption all the time because I'm not generally fearful of men. Peopke say things like "well be grateful no mans ever given you reason to be afraid." Right. I've never been groped on a bus / catcalled at night, and my ex is in prison for treating me too well. Just because a particular man or group of men have behaved in a particular way doesn't have to compel you to make sweeping generalisations about all of them. That's no more acceptable than people who talk about women all being "nags" or "over emotional" just because they've encountered a few women who are.

I don't see the problem with this. Also it's not a 'women's changing room' it's a changing room in a shop.

People are so strange - unless you felt threatened or he was behaving strangely, why would you even give it a second thought?

Teatime If it's a changing room that has a sign saying 'women' and there's another saying 'men' then the one with the word 'women' is meant for women and the one saying 'men' is meant for men. If it's a changing room in a shop that sells women's clothes it's a changing room for women.

When you go into a women's lavatory you don't expect to see a man in there for the simple reason it's a women's lavatory. It's really not hard to grasp the idea that the same principal applies to women's changing rooms as applies to women's lavatories.

Men should not be in female changing rooms. End of!

Men should not be in female changing rooms. End of!

It isn't a female changing room. It's a changing room in a shop where you assume only women shop. Which is sexist AND ignorant.

If it's a changing room in a shop that sells women's clothes it's a changing room for women.

When you go into a women's lavatory you don't expect to see a man in there for the simple reason it's a women's lavatory. It's really not hard to grasp the idea that the same principal applies to women's changing rooms as applies to women's lavatories.

You're equating two completely different situations. In one there is separate provision for men and women. Men should be in the men's one, women should be in the women's one.

In the other there is a shop which can sell it's goods to men or women. The changing room does not say "Womens Changing", it's the changing room for the shop (of course larger shops often have separate changing). I'd be horrified if I went in to buy "mens" shirts in a "mens" shop and was told I couldn't try them on in a cubicle.

All this faux outrage is really sickening.

A changing room provided for women customers is a female changing room.

It is provided for customers of the shop. Your assumption is that they are female. That's not necessarily going to be true in all cases. And you can be vulnerable anywhere, as I well know. In a shop I feel less so as there are security cameras outside, members of staff and other people.

You can continue to argue that some shops are women-only, but you will continue to be wrong.

Please enlighten us regarding what a potential sex offender looks like

Apparently if a person has a penis they are probably a sex offender.

The changing room does not say "Womens Changing", it's the changing room for the shop

No, changing rooms are clearly labelled for men and women.

No doubt, no dubiety.

As I pointed out above, larger shops (M&S etc) do have that. Smaller shops often just have "Changing" and cubicles.

It isn't a female changing room. It's a changing room in a shop where you assume only women shop. Which is sexist AND ignorant*

If it is a shop that sells women's clothing then that is surely a fair assumption ? Not sexist or ignorant at all. If a man is there buying a gift for a female then he doesn't need to try the clothes on.If he is buying clothes for himself to wear then he doesn't have the right to go into a women's changing area because he is a man. I would guess that shops that sell women;s clothing don;t feel they have to make special arrangements for men who want to try on women's clothing- in these circumstances the man would have to try the garments at home and return them if they don't fit.

What is truly sexist is this constant pushing of the idea that women have to put up with any behaviour that men choose to indulge in even in a designated women changing place. I would not hang around in the changing rooms in a men's clothing store, why on earth would I need to do that ? I would expect men to extend the same courtesy to me in a women's clothing shop.

It's not 'faux' or 'outrage'.

When I am in a changing room I don't want men in there.

A number of years ago a few shops in London tried introducing mixed changing rooms in an effort to seem trendy. It proved unpopular and they changed it back to separate changing rooms.

I don't think women became outraged, or as a pp said hysterical, they just didn't want men in the same changing rooms when they were trying on clothes in a confined space.

I don't think women became outraged, or as a pp said hysterical, they just didn't want men in the same changing rooms when they were trying on clothes in a confined space.

See, I just don't get this. You're in a cubicle, surely? It's not like when I was a teenager and TKMaxx had a massive open room [shudder]

Like, at our local swimming pool the changing room is just one space but with lockable cubicles, and family cubicles etc.

I have to agree - I don't want males in my changing room or in the ladies loo. I wouldn't go into theirs either.
Here's a contentious one: I'm not terribly keen on having older young boys in the communal female changing rooms of the swimming pool either! Not sure where an appropriate cut off is age-wise! That's probably a whole other thread though!!

"I'd be a bit bothered too especially if it was a cubicle with a curtain closure as I can never seem to get them to close properly without a bit of a gap. "

Exactly, but they even have men working in the changing rooms now. This is a change I've noticed in the last few years.

All this faux outrage is really sickening

There is nothing 'faux' about being uncomfortable about men hanging around unnecessarily in a women's changing area. yet again terms like 'faux outrage' are used to dismiss the legitimate concerns of women who are uncomfortable with men behaving in a certain way and invading women's designated spaces. Extreme misogyny from you again.