To not want to split the bill evenly?

[PurpleDragon76]

When I go out for meals with friends it invariably ends up at the end of the night where its mentioned that it would be easier to just split the bill equally. Well, no, not to me. I don't drink so I don't want to cover the bottles of wine. I normally eat the cheaper food as it tends to be what I like. Every time a meal out is in the works I will mention something to the person who asks about how we will just pay for own and get a smile and a nod. Then on the night, sit down and someone says 'shall we share a bottle?" and I make a point of saying not for me. Then another bottle, or more. Then they are all tipsy at the end, and the splitting is mentioned, and I seem petty for yet again saying no I am not happy. Always made to feel the bad guy, get the eye rolling and sideway glances.

AIBU? On average if I split it would be say £30, just pay for me £15-£20.

I used to do the reverse, if was the one knocking it back, I would put in to cover my excess then split the remainder evenly. But no I would say in the beginning "I'll get my own bill if you lot are drinking like fish". I don't quibble if I'm drinking soft and its 3 quid a glass.

Just pay and order separately.

Can you not say at the beginning of the night that you'll be paying for yours separately as you don't drink? I would!

Yanbu

I think it is probably unreasonable to want to add up your own food, but I've never been for a meal out where non drinkers were charged the same as drinkers.

Do you order soft drinks?

I always split the bill equally but if someone is not drinking remove the alcohol from their share, isn't that pretty standard ?

When I go out for meals with friends it invariably ends up at the end of the night where its mentioned that it would be easier to just split the bill equally

I'm a non drinker too. Your mistake is leaving it until the. End of the meal. When you arrive at the restaurant have a word with the waiter or waitress and tell them you would like to be billed seperstely. Then tell everyone at the beginning of the meal that youve arranged to pay for your own bill.

There is no need to be embarrassed at all. You are going to lay for your own bill - no one can argue about that!

I've done this numerous times and it's never been an issue. It's also handy if you want to leave early and it's lovely not having to mess around with finding the right change to pay your portion of a shared bill. I usually give an extra generous tip to say thanks to the waiter or waitress.

I am the only one ordering soft drinks, I always pay for my own and don't split the bill. I am just fed up of being made to feel bad like I am being petty, thats my AIBU to always make a point of paying just for my food/drink?

If you don't want a completely separate bill, at the end tell the meal say "right deduct the alcohol" and then pay equal share for the food. Ie if 4 of you, split food 4 ways and the alcohol 3 ways. That should be too hard surely.

Sorry for typos

Just saw you'll pay for yours, plus any tip, but you guys go ahead and split after that if you want.

There's no need to make a big thing of it but it's fine to pay for what you had and nothing else (obviously include a bit of tip).

Your could take charge of the bill, take your share out and slit the rest. Most people don't expect someone not drinking to pay the same but at the same time, working out what every individual had is a pain.

You are not being unreasonable. Your friends are, however.

No reasonable person would mind if you said I'm not drinking so I'll pay my own bill.

If they do then so what? You ain't going to be able to change them

Hdgshsksk I am feeling daft I never thought of that. I am always happy to tip.

If I'm not drinking then I add up what I've spent, add a tip and leave the rest to them. I always make sure I've got enough cash to cover it and grab the bill first to say there's my share and a bit over!!

Soft drinks are often just as expensive as alcoholic ones. Unless you drink tap water.

I'm always a bit torn on this, having been on both sides of the argument. My family are obsessive bill-calculators and I find it excruciating when they sit there poring over who had what and you owe £10.82 but X owes £8.76 because they didn't have ice cream on their pudding. I end up paying for it myself them telling them to send me how much they think they owe because I can't bear the wrangling.

Just tell them you're on a tight budget so no you won't just split the bill

Don't feel guilty. Carry on paying your own way. Why should you subsidise someone else's booze?

Yanbu re the alcohol and I'm amazed no one in your group would say "hang on, Purple hasn't been drinking" when it comes to sorting the bill! While I admit I'd often be the person (one of them at least) suggesting we order another bottle, I always point out if someone didn't have any booze so their share is reduced accordingly. Your friends are taking the piss there.

Regarding the cheaper food tbh I'd think it a bit tight to quibble because your main was 15.99 and someone else's was 18.99 and I say that as someone who very often has a cheaper (vegetarian) option. Of course I understand that for some that might be a matter of not actually being able to afford any more.

Soft drinks are often just as expensive as alcoholic ones. Unless you drink tap water.

People always say this on threads like this but they never are where I've been out.

You're always going to get tramps who expect others to pay part of their bill. If you're out with someone like that then ask for a separate bill at the beginning.