To not want to split the bill evenly?

[PurpleDragon76]

When I go out for meals with friends it invariably ends up at the end of the night where its mentioned that it would be easier to just split the bill equally. Well, no, not to me. I don't drink so I don't want to cover the bottles of wine. I normally eat the cheaper food as it tends to be what I like. Every time a meal out is in the works I will mention something to the person who asks about how we will just pay for own and get a smile and a nod. Then on the night, sit down and someone says 'shall we share a bottle?" and I make a point of saying not for me. Then another bottle, or more. Then they are all tipsy at the end, and the splitting is mentioned, and I seem petty for yet again saying no I am not happy. Always made to feel the bad guy, get the eye rolling and sideway glances.

AIBU? On average if I split it would be say £30, just pay for me £15-£20.

Anecdotal, the worst night out ever was with a group of internet people from a history group. We booked in advance, a set meal and paid a deposit. OMG, the fannying around after; he who took charge of the bill asked people to put in for a tip. That was bizarre, I put in £10 because frankly they were embarrassing with their 50ps and £1's.

Then came the I only drank water/ I only had 2 beers/ I only had a glass of wine - and each paid accordingly, then came the remainder of the food bill.

I've never seen anything so convoluted.

If you're on a tight budget, it's entirely reasonable to pay only for yourself.

I think the general consensus is that I am not being unreasonable then to just pay for me. I will continue to do so.

Pay your own but estimate. E.g. soft drinks are usually £2 and you'll know roughly what your food comes to from the menu

So in group situations I'd knowledge roughly I was on £17 and I'd sling in £20. No way would I be subsidising drinking.

Often what my drinking friends do is subtract the wine from the bill and then we split the food. Wine drinkers split the wine on top. That's a fair way too.

But, if by not splitting the bill you want to calculate yours to the penny and the work out 10% tip and pay the exact then they may have a point.

If you're on a tight budget, it's entirely reasonable to pay only for yourself.

Even if you're not it's fine. Why should you have to pay for others to get hammered?

Soft drinks are often just as expensive as alcoholic ones. Unless you drink tap water.

People always say this on threads like this but they never are where I've been out.

Plus in my experience those having soft drinks with a meal tend to stick with one or two which even if they're overpriced won't come close to the cost of two or three bottles of wine.

I always used to get frustrated when the bill came out and people started counting out what they had, not judging just impatient! However now I am pregnant and not drinking there's no way I'm paying for someone else's booze 😂 TBH I think we worry about it more (the ones wanting to pay individually) more than anyone else on that table!

No YANBU just take the bill quickly first, sort your out and let them split the rest however they want!

PurpleDaisies Sat 03-Jun-17 21:02:56
Soft drinks are often just as expensive as alcoholic ones. Unless you drink tap water.

People always say this on threads like this but they never are where I've been out.

I no longer drink alcohol, so having paid £4.50 for a bottle of fizzy water, compared to £6 a pint of beer in a restaurant last weekend, I'd really not be quibbling over £1.50 at the end of the evening.

However, if the OP only has one or two, and everyone else is getting hammered, that's where the big discrepancies come in.

Again, it really depends, we went out a few weeks back, 3 quid a pint of coke compared to 5 quid a glass of wine/bottle beer, or the one person who was knocking back 9 quid a head cocktails. Which pissed everyone else off!

Soft drinks are often just as expensive as alcoholic ones. Unless you drink tap water.

Not round here there're not, £4.25 for a glass of wine vs £1.70 for half a pint of coke.

If you split a £15 bottle of wine between three, that's 2 glasses each ( one small/one big) for a fiver. Soft drinks are usually nearly £2 each.

But OP if you say clearly at the beginning of the night you'll be paying separately, then you can't allow other peoples attitudes to it annoy you.

If you're on a tight budget, it's entirely reasonable to pay only for yourself

It's entirely reasonable to only pay for yourself regardless of your budget. I could afford to pay for other people's drink but I don't won't to. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'd be pissed off if someone thought I should pay extra because I could afford it.

"Soft drinks are often just as expensive as alcoholic ones. Unless you drink tap water."

I have never been ANYWHERE where that is the case.

We would split bill in our group but always take a bit less from the non drinkers.

Can't see anything wrong in telling them your not drinking so just hand over the amount to cover your part, you could make a joke out of it and say here's my £15 to cover the food and drink I had.

if anyone says no we.re splitting it you say well hang on while I add a bottle to take home so i get my fair share of the grog...

I hate to labour the point

Lager £3.95
gals of wine £4.95
Glass of mineral water £3.95

I would call that a same/similar price. I apologise for eating in places some of you haven't visited or experienced.

www.caurestaurants.com/uploads/CAU-Menu-2017.pdf

I think that in these situations, it is gracious for one of the drinkers to say, "no we can't just split it - not everyone was drinking". That way, it's fair and the non-drinker doesn't feel awkward.

There are places where they'll serve Coke in the trademark bottles and charge you £3 a go, so unless you're a camel you'll have two or three and cost the same as someone who had half a bottle of house red. Soft drinks aren't free.

That said, if you order by the bottle you can usually get eg San Pellegrino 1L for under a fiver and be beautifully hydrated all evening.

Yes, paying for your own is always fine unless you've explicitly agreed in advance to split. Just be sure you do so accurately - asking in advance for a separate tab is a bit of a pain for the staff but very clean when it comes to pay. You could pay on your way to/from the Ladies' if you don't want to make a huge fuss in front of everyone.

Generally I'd rather pay than chase pennies, but I'm a staunch defender of the poorest/smallest appetite at the table. At my old work the partners would take out the trainees then blithely split the bill. The difference between steak plus a couple of imported bottled beers and mushroom risotto plus tap water may be trivial when your salary is in six figures, but not for the most junior trainee at the table. It needs someone to speak up and say "that may be the easiest but it certainly isn't the fairest".

Only the poorest person at the table should suggest splitting; the richest/greediest should insist on paying for themselves.

Say that you are paying separately at the start then the others can split the rest as they want. There are some people who order very differently in large groups that split evenly as they know they are getting a subsidy

I am always amazed that this is such a problem in the UK - in Sweden separate bills are often the norm in big groups if you ask. I went out in a group of 25 and the waitress managed separate bills very efficiently and there was no problem at the end - well apart for a very small group of drinkers who had been freely ordering rounds of brandies and liqueurs at the end and suddenly realised that they had added £25-30 to their personal bills just on after dinner drinks

I used to go out occasionally with a group of people. They weren't friends exactly, it was to do with an activity. Every time it was the same. Right at the end everybody would be happy to split the bill except this one couple. So instead of it all being dealt with in about three minutes, out would come the calculators and it would be all about what they had and didn't have. The total never seemed to differ greatly from the average anyway, so it seemed rather petty.

They knew exactly what to expect, so I could never understand why they just didn't speak to the waiter at the start and ask to order and be billed separately. So if ever I am in that position, that is what I do. Get it organised at the start.

That's not the price for a glass of mineral water, it's a 750ml bottle which is equivalent to three glasses of wine stilldriving. Your figures are really misleading.

If I am driving and on soft drinks, I am happy to still split the bill - hence my comment regarding a tight budget being a good reason.

I am not on a tight budget, so would not bother quibbling over £10 or so. If I bought a round and was the only one having a soft drink, I would still pay for the others' more expensive drinks - same principle.

But there's nothing wrong with paying for yourself only at a meal, if money is an issue.

I have a very similar problem so am keen to see all the suggestions. My friends tend to drink copious amounts of wine, at least a bottle a head, sometimes more, and then they will say oh, it's £50 a head, but you didn't drink Tenterden, so just pay £40. This is no way reflects my bowl of pasta and 2 diet cokes

I don't know if I have the balls to pay ask the waiter to be billed separately though, they would probably think I was being really tight.

Purple is right. The price you quote for water is for 750ml of water.

i usually just split the bill i have never drunk alcohol but a bottle of diet coke can be£ 2.50 /£3.00 in some pubs .i dont mind but i get that some folk do .

still

It's a 750ml bottle of mineral water.

So the same volume as a bottle of wine, which is £18.95. Or as two bottles of beer which would be £7.90.

So not really the same price, not for a given volume anyway.