We moved into a new house last October, in a little tucked-away square, and our nearest neighbour is very close to our house, and adjacent. She seemed a finicky old soul but harmless. I started putting her bins out and putting them back for her, because she is close to 80. Brought her a cupcake when I was baking, that kind of thing.
However, when we had our driveway done, everything changed. I gave her a copy of the plans upfront, as the land gets cut a strange way, and it was to be paved where it was all grassed before - hers merging with ours. I told her the dates and to let us know if her land registry plans were different to ours.
She wasn't happy about it being done, although her plans agreed with ours. 'it was always fine as it was', etc. She also asked us to pay for gravel on her little section, which I just dodged as it seemed utterly unreasonable. I just politely repeated, each time she had a moan, that we wanted to do it, and it would mean one fewer car on the road outside. We had space for one car but by paving it it can take two, so visitors can park on our drive instead of on the road. But when the work started, there were problems throughout. Her daughter always parks directly in front of our drive when she picks her mum up, but one time when I parked on the road because I couldn't park on our drive while it was being done, there were ructions. Her daughter said she could not get onto her mum's driveway, but... she never does park on the driveway. She just pulls up outside our house. So yes, my car blocked that, on this particular day, but they never actually do that, if you see what I mean. Her daughter was really unpleasant, but I let it go. Then one time her daughter was on her way, and she knocked and asked our workmen to move their truck, so that her daughter could get on the driveway (which, as I said, she never does). He told her politely that when she arrived, he would move it, and what car should he look out for. She slammed the door that time. Also, when I spoke to her to try and smooth it out, she said she was annoyed the work was taking longer than she thought it would. That seemed very unreasonable too, as it is our works. I just said yes, we weren't happy it had gone on a bit too. Since that conversation, she completely stopped saying hello to us or our boys.
Then two days ago we got some garden work done. I had put a note through to let her know which days the high hedge between our houses (our hedge) was being trimmed, and if any foliage dropped into her garden, to let us know and we would come and remove it. My mum was here while it was done, as we were away for the week - and she knocked on the old lady's door to reiterate that if anything fell in her garden, she/we would remove it immediately. The old lady was quite rude and said no, her son would do it.
Later, she knocked and said her cleaner was on the way, and could our workmen move their truck (it was parked across our driveway, not on our driveway, being pretty big). Her cleaner would not be able to get her car onto her driveway. My mum, having had enough of the trouble last time and not wanting to hop to her tune straightaway, said 'Yes, I will ask them when they come down from their ladders.' The old lady said, no, could she ask them now. My mum said no. The old lady said she would ask them herself, and my mum said no, they were our workmen and she would ask them. Then my mum went into the house. The old lady opened our side gate, and went into our garden, and asked them to move their car! After this, she had a gardener arrive, and made a barbed comment to my mum about him removing stuff that had fallen into her garden - despite me having offered in our note and my mum having offered that very morning. I am also worried she will bill us for it, but that is a side issue.
Let me stress, there is no shortage of parking around the square outside our house, only a metre or two away. Her daughter blocks us in all the time, when picking her mum up, and I have never made an issue of it. When workmen are here, it is clearly a temporary thing, and we have never said they would not move their trucks, just not straightaway while the men are working.
DH says I should let it go, but she has been so unpleasant all the way through, and it really bugs me that she walked right into our garden like that.
AIBU? What would you do?