To think she's probably not in a minority with her views?

[LauraMoon]

Foolishly talked politics after many proseccos with my True Blue sister.

Now, she wouldn't air these views in public but she knows she can say it to me because I know and love her for the cunt she is.

She thinks that the only reason food bank usage has rocketed is because poor people are lazy and just want free food.

That poor people need to learn to manage their money better and not smoke, drink or have sky telly.

That everyone can afford to buy a house if they really want to, but people waste money.

That anyone can get a decent job if they really put their minds to it.

Unemployment benefits are unnecessary because people should just have insurance.

(My 'favourite') that natural selection would breed out poor and stupid people and that by having a welfare system we are fucking with the natural order of things...

The background to this is that she left school with zero GCSEs and has then worked her way up from an office junior to finance director for an international (massive, household name) company. She bought a house in her early twenties with a loan from our parents and has always been well off. She says this is because she has a good work ethic, and doesn't see anyway that it could all go wrong for her.

Conversely, I am on ESA and have never really had a career, I've been a LP on benefits and lived in a HA house. I'm married now and dh earns £££ and we own our home, but I know how tenuous that all is in reality. She left her dh a few years ago and has her dc 50/50 and doesn't understand why other lone parents would struggle.

Anyway, I feel like I've had an insight into how some other people think and I'm pretty sure her views aren't even all that uncommon.

Does anyone here want to admit to thinking like this? Or maybe you know someone who does?

It's all a bit depressing really.

Just think how successful she could have been if she had worked hard and got those GCSEs .

And the fact that she walked into a job straight after school, and then worked her way up and gained qualifications as she went. It all just proves to herself she is right.

She has a pea brain. That's not your fault. But you should keep challenging her.

She bought a house in her early twenties with a loan from our parents and has always been well off. She says this is because she has a good work ethic, and doesn't see anyway that it could all go wrong for her.

Hahahahahaha. So she bought a house with money her parents loaned her, but she thinks it's down to her good work ethic. Snort.

I am reminded of Mitt Romney (US presidential candidate in 2012) who advised young people to start their own businesses by borrowing money from their parents. Yes, of course, everyone has that option.

And again: hahahahahahahaha.

Your sister is fortunate to have her good health I assume?

Yep. But as she says, she has all sorts of insurances.

God help her if she has a manic episode or two and remortgages the house and spends it all on collectible McDonalds toys or whatever. But that sort of thing only happens to 'other people'.

I think the benefit system here needs a complete overhaul - I know people who are genuinely able to work but decide not to because the system allows them to earn while doing nothing, and I also know some families who should be getting help but are not.

I come from a country with no benefits system so to me, the UK is very very kind to its people, it's just a shame some people abuse it.

Has she got chronic illness insurance? Lots of people have critical illness cover

No idea, but she reckons she's covered for any eventuality.

And she can't understand why everybody doesn't put a third of their wage into pensions and insurances...

Whoops...
Lots of people have critical illness cover and redundancy cover but they are no use for chronic illness.

Your sister has some twattish views

Oh this is just the tip of the iceberg.

All part of life's rich tapestry though, innit.

The sooner the system is revamped the better. Outcomes for children will be better if we force parents to step up and actually do all aspects of parenting. So many feel that financing a chid is down to others not them.

It can all go wrong so easily for anyone. I had a high flying job and a car accident has left me on benefits. So so easily it can happen......

That poor people need to learn to manage their money better and not smoke, drink or have sky telly.

No she's sadly not in the minority. Doesn't make her right though. I hardly ever drink. Bucks fizz at Christmas that kinda thing. Also don't smoke or have sky tv. Just your basic freeview channels. Also dont have a range rover or an iphone 5/6/7/8 or whatever the latest one is these days.

And she can't understand why everybody doesn't put a third of their wage into pensions and insurances...

Bloody hell I wish this was possible.

DH takes home around a grand a month. After essential payments are taken care of, and he has his travel money for the next month, we have about 50 quid a week or so left to 'play' with. In her world we should be putting this 50 per week right onto insurance, and also cutting into our bill/essential spending money to do more. So which shouldn;t we pay? Gas, electric, rent, shopping...well I guess we could put the kids on a diet of potatos and bread or something and save a bit there to put into this amazing insurance that would keep us for the rest of our lives should anything else happen...

But then again, maybe he should just try harder to get a better job. We should have bought our house years ago too...just unmotivated and we clearly just prefer to be paying off someone elses mortgage instead of our own. We really really want to be 'poor' (we aren't poor compared to many so don't like describing ourselves as such, but we have next to no disposable income so we do fit the description I guess) we do not just want to be on 50k+ as the jobs are clearly there but we don't chose to pursue them. It was also my own fault that I ended up with an illness myself which has fucked our situation even more as I cannot work. I didn't have insurance, as I couldn't afford it and I do not actually know of any insurance company that would have given me money for the rest of my life?

People like me should never have been able to have kids though as I don't have a rich husband and rich parents to take care of me. I love the ones I have though so I am willing to 'overlook' the fact that they are not loaded. Thats, again, my fault as I should be purposely out hunting for a millionaire DH.

At least we have never yet had to go to a foodbank for food though, I guess we aren't just 'lazy'. As I am sure those who have to use foodbanks really enjoy doing so so that they can watch their sky sports that night with their parcel full of plain rice and cooking sauces..

Nevermind.

She bought a house in her early twenties with a loan from our parents and has always been well off. She says this is because she has a good work ethic, and doesn't see anyway that it could all go wrong for her

So she borrowed money from her parents to 'buy her own house' ?

Not so self sufficient after all then.

And she can't understand why everybody doesn't put a third of their wage into pensions and insurances...

Because most people have too much month at the end of the money and can't afford to save.

A bit of both. Everyone gets a hand of cards, but its up to you how you play them. I do think that everyone can make something of their lives, and no one (except those with severe disabilities) needs to be 100% dependent on the state. I have no time at all for able bodied and able minded people who choose not to work and to claim benefits. However, clearly not everyone is going to be a high earner. If someone works full-time for minimum wage, then I'm happy to pay taxes to top up their income. Likewise, if a single parent goes out and works but still can't afford to support their child, they're trying their best and should get top-ups.

Benefits shouldn't pay for a lifetime of laziness, and nor should they be enough to be able to afford houses with spare rooms (I say this as a working person with a 1 bed rented flat), houses in expensive areas, unlimited kids or luxuries like cigs and sky. Benefits are a safety net for those who fall on hard times, and also to top up the incomes of those who just can't get living wage work despite trying their best.

Benefits shouldn't pay for a lifetime of laziness, and nor should they be enough to be able to afford houses with spare rooms

Again. A myth. I was paying the spare room subsidy for the bedroom my son was sleeping in.

There are definitely people out there who think like your sister, yes.

What would she think for example about a baby born into poverty, to parents that are drug addicts, that don't bother taking the child to school so the child misses out on their education, or children born into abusive homes, or those passed around the care system.

How would she suppose those working on nmw and living on the breadline should save to 'buy a house' in the current times?

Yes there are many people that could try harder, but we don't all get given an equal chance at life. There are so many factors that come into it and much of it is down to luck.

How does she feel about the disabled, and the parents of the disabled? Do they deserve to die

Did you also have a friend who called TM a cunt?

These goady 'my friend/sister says' threads are getting tedious as fuck. If someone had offensive views then pull them up on it. But the faux surprise that there are people who think like that is also getting tedious.

There are racist/sexist/disablist etc people all over the place - some of them vote Labour!

I doubt she is a minority.

My DH had a pretty rough start to life. He was raised by a teenaged single mum and his dad was in and out of prison for drug dealing etc.

He has undiagnosed dyslexia and left school at 15 unable to read and write. He was a teenaged first-time parent himself. He walked into an apprentice job and 18 years later is on around 45-50k take home.

Instead of appreciating the difficulties people can face he has the attitude that life is what you make it. That you have to pick yourself up and keep going. That nothing is impossible if you just work hard enough. He thinks we make our own luck. He thinks if he can do it, anyone can.

His views are strengthened when he sees his sister who at 24 has just had a 3rd baby by a second partner. She is unemployed and has no intention of working. Neither father pays maintenance. He says we have to encourage people to make better choices and take responsibility for themselves. He says the current system doesn't do anyone any good long term.

I am a labour voter and we have had some heated debates.

He doesn't include disabled people in this and says that people who are unable to work because of disability or caring responsibilities should be looked after much better they are now. At least we both agree on this.

Sounds like my friend. Has only worked full time for 2 years before having children. Left her husband and worked part time and claimed tax credits for years until she meet second husband (who is extremely well paid and has excellent pension). Now she is a housewife (children grown up) due to " ill health". At doctors every other day but no diagnosis, just she is so tired and her limbs ache.
According to her the issue with the NHS could be solved if no one smoked or was obese. All those on benefits could work if they choice too.

A huge proportion on benefits could work but take the mindset of why should they when they can do nothing or very little and still have plenty of money and a home. Remove the benefits and they would very likely develop a work ethic.