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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To pick my own ring.

148 replies

talksensetome · 01/06/2017 13:13

I have just been on holiday and whilst there a ring caught my eye. Nothing expensive, just a piece of dress jewellery, probably not even silver with a shiny bit of glass in it. Either way I liked it, it fit and I bought it for myself.

Got back last night, BF says where's that ring from, I said I treated myself to it. well today whilst I am at work he has gone out and bought me a new ring to wear instead. "So my finger doesn't go black". I am at work so haven't seen it yet but I said, Thanks, as you do. Is it the same as this one? He says No, it's nicer.

I don't usually wear any jewellery, the odd day I might wear earrings but no rings, rarely a necklace. This ring will probably get left in the drawer after a couple of weeks.

AIBU and ungrateful to think it is weird to immediately go out and replace something I obviously like, because I chose it myself, with something he has decided is better?

OP posts:
IHeartDodo · 01/06/2017 13:44

Haha!!!
A horcrux is a thing from Harry Potter!
A kind of cursed object that holds a piece of someone's soul :)

ElspethFlashman · 01/06/2017 13:44

Its a thing from Harry Potter. An inanimate object that contains your soul. Or something. That book was complicated, lol.

LouiseBrooks · 01/06/2017 13:45

maybe he had a particularly dreadful experience with dodgy jewellery and it's left him a bit traumatised

OP how many fingers does he have? Smile

Otherwise, engagement ring notwithstanding, he's a weirdo/control freak.

Figment1234 · 01/06/2017 13:47

Yes sorry... Harry Potter joke!
harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Marvolo_Gaunt%27s_Ring

talksensetome · 01/06/2017 13:49

OH, I only saw the first 2 Harry Potters and never got round to reading it! Not sure he is a fan either, might drop it into conversation and see...

He has a god awful ring that he wears but I have never thought to replace it because I don't like it. That is silver too with some shiny red glass in, definitely not couture jewellery or anything.

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 01/06/2017 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

talksensetome · 01/06/2017 13:57

Navy He tries to be, he passes comment on my clothes often but I never entertain it. I just tell him I am a grown up who has managed to successfully dress myself for 30 odd years!

OP posts:
category12 · 01/06/2017 13:59

He doesn't like your ring. Wear it anyway.

Plus you should put up a picture so we can see if we agree with him. Grin

EssentialHummus · 01/06/2017 14:01

Pic of ring please!

Sounds a bit controlling IMO.

PurpleDaisies · 01/06/2017 14:02

I wouldn't be happy about that at all. Is he controlling in other areas?

talksensetome · 01/06/2017 14:02

I will put up a picture of both rings later and you can decided which of us has superior taste Wink Grin

OP posts:
indigox · 01/06/2017 14:08

Pretty odd behaviour.

LottieDoubtie · 01/06/2017 14:09

How does he react when you don't wear what he wants OP?

TempusEedjit · 01/06/2017 14:14

I suggest you put the rings on then stick both your middle fingers up at him (just to show him, obviously).

Then tell him to fuck off.

NavyandWhite · 01/06/2017 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brindisi · 01/06/2017 14:37

OP was he with you when you bought the other ring?
Tbh I don't know why you're upset about this. He probably knows you bought your own ring and felt guilty that he didn't buy it for you. Maybe he feels bad that it's a cheap one and he thinks you deserve a diamond.
You can wear both rings anyway.
DH has bought me all my jewellery over the years and I love it all.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth Grin

Pinkheart5917 · 01/06/2017 14:37

Tbf I did buy a lovely ring myself in Spain a few years ago, nothing special just similar to what you describe but I loved it. Unfortunately over time it did turn my finger green whenever I wore it, a real shame as it was lovely.

Maybe it is an engagement ring?

Wear both rings? if you like the one his brought of course

category12 · 01/06/2017 14:37

Good stuff OP. Shall await rings picture before passing further judgement.

I like TempusEedjit's suggestion btw Grin.

ophiotaurus · 01/06/2017 14:41

That's is odd. Unless he gets you an engagement ring it's strange.

SomeOtherFuckers · 01/06/2017 14:46

Man logic .
My DP probs wouldn't bother but in his brain he sometimes does these kinds of things because it makes sense to him. It's not - she bought herself a ring and she likes it - instead it's - she bought herself a ring but didn't consider the fact that it might turn her finger black, I'll get her one that doesn't so she can still wear a ring- it just seems logical to him.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/06/2017 14:48

I'm placemarking for the pictures. Grin

carjacker1985 · 01/06/2017 14:51

My immediate thought was weird proposal, but if that's not it then I'd worry about him being oddly controlling.

StoatofDisarray · 01/06/2017 14:53

I don't like the sound of this at all. As PPs have said, it sounds controlling; I also don't like the sound of "he passes comment on my clothes often". Dodgy.

ElspethFlashman · 01/06/2017 14:59

I think the black finger thing is just a bullshit excuse.

He just doesn't like your ring. So he's going to get you one he approves of and sulk until you wear it instead.

Bobbins43 · 01/06/2017 15:05

I'm another one in the "That's fucking weird" camp.

My boyfriend likes me wearing earrings but wouldn't ever insist on me wearing them or wearing a specific pair.

Maybe his intentions are noble (I doubt it) but it's a fucking weird way of doing something nice for you. Even if your ring does end up turning your finger black, you could wear it on a chain or something.

Very odd.

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