Neighbour subtly complaining?

[BeetrootPie]

My 4yo son accidentally threw a toy into next doors garden whilst playing with his brother who is 2 (almost 3) on their trampoline. Dh said he'd go round to ask got it back, I said to take DS so he can apologise etc. When they got back my Dh said how he'd spoken to the woman and he explained that DS had accidentally thrown toy over when on the trampoline and said something like "yes, we can hear the trampoline" so Dh says "oh, is it bothering you" to which she replied "well we can hear it". Aibu to be upset/annoyed? We moved in only 6 months ago and the neighbours have clearly lived in their house so long time (old retired couple) so I feel awkward. Compared to where we used to live, it is wonderfully quiet... A big reason I wanted to move here. But my children make noise, they're 2 & 4 and They love playing out in our back garden on the slide, little play house, riding their bikes and bouncing on their trampoline. They don't go on it at unsociable hours-they have a pretty strict bedtime routine, so the latest they are out there is 5:30pm, in bed at 7:30. My youngest is a screamer (slow developer, possible autism) and will scream when both happy and sad but my 4yo is such a polite little boy and us very well behaved. Now I feel stressed about letting them play and I'm fretting over any noises they make.. Which is just crazy. It's an estate full of family homes! Aibu?

Can you move the trampoline as near as possible to your own property and site it by the other fence and then you can enjoy all the noise your children make while minimising it for other childfree families! When I moved in to my house, a new build, we all had young kids who played together. Been here for years so we're all retired now and I love the peace and quiet except for when grandchildren arrive all round and then it's chaos again but, at least, it's only temporary.

I don't get why so many older people get all aresy about children playing making actual sounds, during the day, outside

OP's neighbour wasn't remotely arsey, so who are you talking about?

It's not jiust old people who don't like very noisy children, its all of us.

On the one hand we have people moaning about the obesity crisis, how kids never play out, how they're always on their computers etc.

And then when they do go out, people complain about the noise.

As I said on another thread, I have far less issue with noises from trampolines and balls especially when said noise stops at 5.30, than I do from adults who decide they have to play loud music in their gardens after 9pm at night.

My DF is in a nursing home now with very advanced dementia. His experience with v v noisy screaming neighbours was very different to PP. He spent the last couple of years in his home very anxious and scared.

My mother and father have a huge garden and had/ still have to deal with balls hurtling over the fence on a daily basis. They have damaged plants and their new garden room.

My parents haven't ever said a word as these people are not pleasant.

I use wd40 on our trampoline every few weeks so it doesn't squeak. I don't let my children on it too early or too late. I find only letting one child on at a time keeps the noise down a bit.

Let your children enjoy the garden - your neighbours were children themselves many years ago and possibly annoyed older people back then!

And then when they do go out, people complain about the noise

No they don't. People complain about excessive noise. Many of us commenting on excessive noise have children who play outside.
Balance. Playing outside should not involve the screaming and screeching that some kids do.

This is a zombie thread

My DC can't run about and scream in the house, so they do it outside at weekends. They're in at 5 for supper. We put up with loud parties until 3am.

I think you're fine OP. It's just normal family noise, to be expected in a residential area with families.

When I moved to my house five years ago (I'm older), there was a young family with young children and dogs next door and at first the noise was shocking but I got used to it and now love hearing the dogs bark and the children playing. They're a lovely family.

Your children won't be children for long.

My DC can't run about and scream in the house, so they do it outside at weekends.

sorry?

I know this is old but for squeaky springs you need to oil them, WD40 unbungs things but doesn't deal with squeaking.

My DC can't run about and scream in the house, so they do it outside at weekends

Why can't they do it in the house, and why do you think its acceptable for them to do it outside?
Just teach your damn kids not to scream.

ZUZU are you my neighbours? They also said they enjoyed hearing my boys playing, as todders, in 'dens' etc.

It's BBQs and pissed adults that are worse than playing kids.

Well how bloody dare people with children move to somewhere "wonderfully quiet". Its not for them to enjoy course not!

When finally all kids spend their lives on screens and not running around, screaming and shouting, it will be wonderfully, wonderfully quiet.

We have a retired widower living next to us. When we moved in we said to him that if our children disturbed him to please let us know. He replied that he was very pleased that a family had bought our house and that gardens are for enjoying and he likes hearing the sounds of the children playing. His garden is immaculate whilst ours is full of plastic tat and a trampoline. I have 4 young children so they must be noisy but they are not screamers. I make them go in if they scream as that's not fair.

Your neighbours are entitled to enjoy their home but they are not entitled to silence.

When finally all kids spend their lives on screens and not running around, screaming and shouting, it will be wonderfully, wonderfully quiet.

I have got 4 kids, they are all active and even the youngest ones don't need to behave like a feral pack screaming the place down. They don't climb trees any better or run any faster if they are shouting. Pretty sure even tennis athletes don't need to practice screaming before a match...

Off course they don't codi! But they do sometimes don't they! Sometimes out of sheer joy and forgetfulness. And letting off steam.

if they start screaming outside, I tell them to keep it down! If there is screaming in my garden, it's never for long, and because they are not encouraged to, they really don't. They don't need to be that loud to let off steam.

There are enough parks around where kids can be more noisy if they really have to.

I wasn't allowed to make a racket when I was a child either, but in the olden days any adult could have told us off for being too noisy without starting an offended complaint from one of the parents.

I was being wilfully sarcastic earlier but so often on these threads on MN children playing in gardens seem to be regarded as a disturbance and a problem to be curtailed and apologised for.

Personally I like the sound of children playing.

Screaming, shouting swearing adults is a different thing.

What about screaming swearing shouting children?

I wouldn't like the swearing no.

But I lived next door to a nursery. And 3 times a day the kids were out shouting, running and sometimes yes screaming.

I didn't notice it end the end but when I did I enjoyed the noise.

Just remembered my new neighbour asked me to let him know if I could hear his tv as it's a v quiet rural area but a terrace of three. I answered him honestly that id only heard it once when he had his back door open. I asked if he could hear mine and he said not. Conversation finished and no one hurt confused or angry

I didn't notice it end the end but when I did I enjoyed the noise

How nice for you. Why do you think everyone else should enjoy it too?