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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH taking piss out of my arm bands

144 replies

NurseScorne · 27/05/2017 21:45

Went swimming with DH this morning and he was constantly ripping the piss out of my arm bands. I've told him before about this and how it puts me off going swimming at all. AIBU to refuse to go with him in future? He says I'M embarrassing HIM

OP posts:
araiwa · 28/05/2017 10:52

Errol i never doubted that they exist, but just because they exist doesnt mean that you have to use them

PeanutButterJellyTimeforTea · 28/05/2017 10:54

Of course they exist, but even children don't wear armbands when they have swimming lessons!

rwalker · 28/05/2017 11:02

forgot to say b 4 get some good goggles about £15 aquasphere one are good and a swimming hat if you have long hair please sack the arm bands. love the idea of secret swimming lesson though and then just swim off from him one day .

Fibbertigibbet · 28/05/2017 11:08

I don't think armbands are the best way to learn to swim, but if they increase your confidence in the water OP and you feel comfortable wearing them, I really don't see a problem. Your DH is being mean making fun of you, it's scary learning to swim and you're being very brave.

Birdsgottaf1y · 28/05/2017 11:10

If a child did this to another child, we'd call it bullying and the school would intervene, yet it has been justified when it is an adult doing it.

If posters really wouldn't be able to not snigger, I hope my Grandchildren never encounter their children,because they've obviously been bought up to think that behavior is right.

I lost water confidence after a bout of pneumonia and a blood clot on my lung, i was actually warned about secondary drowning when i asked my Consultant about snorkeling.

I found using a swim vest gave me the confidence to snorkel in the Red Sea. I didn't do as much as I would have liked because of the piss taking by people who didn't even attempt to get into the water.

OP go for proper lessons, if you find some with a very fit instructor, you'll probably find that your DH will suddenly stfu, my then DP, certainly did and turned into the perfect swim teacher.

Lallypopstick · 28/05/2017 11:11

People who say they'd laugh obviously don't take into account that someone using swimming aids might have a disability. And even if they don't, why does someone learning to swim cause such amusement to you?

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 28/05/2017 11:14

I have to say that I don't think I could go swimming with my DH if he wore armbands. It's a bit silly. You cannot learn with them on, you must know that.

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2017 11:17

Firstly congrats on learning to swim. It's not hard, we naturally can swim so it's simply mind over matter.

As for the arm bands, if they work for you, fair enough. Clearly he shouldn't rip the piss, but I have to be honest, if I was my husband in arm bands I'd probably rip the piss too, even though I'd try to refrain, the effort would be too much for me. However he would see the humour in it also. The issue here is you don't find it funny. If they help you, keep in wearing them. You won't need them for long.

ErrolTheDragon · 28/05/2017 11:40

You cannot learn with them on, you must know that.

But there have been several posts from people who have learned to swim using armbands. So sure she can if that's what suits her. There may be other aids/methods which would be better, but its silly to say she cannot learn with them on when others have done so.

AfunaMbatata · 28/05/2017 11:45

Can you not just stay In the shallow end where you can stand up if needed?

PaulDacresFeministConscience · 28/05/2017 12:32

I have to say that I don't think I could go swimming with my DH if he wore armbands

Why on earth not, if he couldn't swim and they helped him feel confident in the water? Or are superficial appearances so important to you that they take precedence over supporting someone learning a new skill? How odd.

keeplooking · 28/05/2017 14:01

I have to say that I don't think I could go swimming with my DH if he wore armbands. It's a bit silly. You cannot learn with them on, you must know that.

Not so. I did teach myself with them on (my lower arms), then deflated them gradually, then ditched them. Was so proud of myself after half a century as a non-swimmer! As I said before, though, I would have been much too self-conscious to use them in a public pool. If others did feel able to do that, I would admire them for their aplomb!

AnUtterIdiot · 28/05/2017 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

keeplooking · 28/05/2017 14:14

Can you not just stay In the shallow end where you can stand up if needed?

That didn't work for me. You can go under in very little water if you're panicking. I know it probably sounds ridiculous, but that's how I felt. In any case, I always understood that you can't really learn to swim properly in shallow water.

The armbands gave me the confidence to gradually explore the possibility that I could actually keep myself afloat by moving my arms and legs! I wouldn't say I'm very elegant when I'm swimming, and still have a tendency to panic if anything untoward happens while I'm ploughing my way up the pool (ds x 3, I'm looking at you with your giant beach ball!), but I can get from a to b (even if b is at the deep end) without my feet touching the bottom!.

Chloe84 · 28/05/2017 14:17

Can't actually believe some of these comments from smug swimmers.

I learnt to swim a couple of years ago in my thirties and used anything and everything to increase my confidence in the water. Luckily my DH is not a twat and would remind me to get my arm bands, goggles etc. He would never have laughed even if he find them funny. A couple of people would look but did I care? Did I fuck.

Now I snorkel and dive and love it.

DearMrDilkington · 28/05/2017 14:17

Some of these comments are horrid.

well done for giving it a go op, everyone should know how to swim, so well done for giving it a shot. If armbands help your confidence in water, then wear them. I wouldn't laugh at you.

DearMrDilkington · 28/05/2017 14:20

chloe84 I'm so impressed that you learnt to swim so late in life but your confident enough to dive and snorkel!
I've always known how to swim but I'm not confident enough to dive and it's only been in the last year that I've plucked up the courage to snorkel.

Well done, you might have made me think twice about jumping straight in now!Wine

Chloe84 · 28/05/2017 14:59

Aw thank you so much Dear Smile

The snorkelling (initially in shallow water in the Maldives) actually helped me so much because I didn't have to worry about my breathing. I could just float and move for ages, building up my confidence.

The first time I went snorkelling in the sea in the Maldives was one of those moments I'll never forget. One of the tour guys took me by the hand and guided me through the coral. I never knew that such beauty existed.

I did my first dive' in a deep swimming pool and thought this isn't that hard! Since then I haven't done a course but I have done 'try dives' in the Red Sea with instructors. Hoping to take my PADI course one of these days.

I hope you get to try a dive soon. I recommend Marsa Alam in Egypt, amazing coral there.

HildaOg · 28/05/2017 15:35

Armbands are no use to an adult. You must look very silly with them. I'd be embarrassed to be seen with you too.

PaulDacresFeministConscience · 28/05/2017 15:40

Armbands are no use to an adult. You must look very silly with them. I'd be embarrassed to be seen with you too.

And another one who sounds utterly delightful. Did you miss the part on the thread where others have already explained that they can be helpful for some people, for increasing confidence in the water? When did people become more concerned about how it looks to the outside world, than the happiness of the people that we are supposed to love and respect? Christ you all sound like Kevin the Teenager with his Ohhh it's SO EMBARRASSING routine

bruffin · 28/05/2017 15:45

Ive go to the pool 3 to 4 times a week for 20 odd years. Ive been there for adult beginners class and seen also when the local sn group with their carers come , i have never seen an adult in arm bands.

Chloe84 · 28/05/2017 15:54

Thanks for taking on the shallow (no pun intended) posters, PaulDacre

HildaOg · 28/05/2017 15:59

Paul; of course what other people think is important. Everyone will be judging her poor husband on the fact that he's married to the crazy woman with the armbands😂😂😂😂😂 People will think there's something seriously wrong with him for being with someone who's obviously not right in the head.

I wouldn't be seen with a partner who did that. It's not teenagerish to expect your partner not to show you up in public.

PaulDacresFeministConscience · 28/05/2017 16:08

Bollocks - and if you're that superficial then that's a shame. There's a huge difference between deliberately 'showing someone up' and wearing something that's designed to help you be confident in the water whilst in a swimming pool

And if I saw the OP, I wouldn't be thinking about her 'poor husband'. I'd be thinking 'Oh there's someone learning to swim. Good for them'. Not everybody is as shallow as you.

People will think there's something seriously wrong with him for being with someone who's obviously not right in the head.

Nice judgement of mental health conditions as well Hmm

HildaOg · 28/05/2017 16:15

It's not shallow to expect your partner not to look ridiculous in public. Everybody has their own standards. Nobody's saying you have to have any. Nor the op but her husband is entitled to be embarrassed by her. Most people would be.

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