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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH taking piss out of my arm bands

144 replies

NurseScorne · 27/05/2017 21:45

Went swimming with DH this morning and he was constantly ripping the piss out of my arm bands. I've told him before about this and how it puts me off going swimming at all. AIBU to refuse to go with him in future? He says I'M embarrassing HIM

OP posts:
Bleurghghghgh · 27/05/2017 23:05

Go to bed Sharon

Chloe84 · 27/05/2017 23:17

Arm bands kept me afloat (10 stone). Agree they are uncomfortable though.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/05/2017 23:36

YANBU to not want to go with him again if he's being so nasty. But do go without him - get some proper lessons (lots of adults do), go alone and practice with a noodle (they're quite fun even if you can swim well) and get goggles. (Useful for watching underwater what good swimmers are doing)

skyzumarubble · 27/05/2017 23:41

Stay in your depth and get swimming lessons. Arm bands are kind of pointless, as a true non swimmer you wouldn't be able to right yourself anyway. Swimming really is a life skill it's worth making the effort to learn.

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 27/05/2017 23:43

Nah, I'm calling bollocks

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 27/05/2017 23:43

I'd be very Confused at seeing an adult in armbands tbh, I'm with your DH.

Tapandgo · 27/05/2017 23:49

I was taught to swim as an adult using armbands - it gave me confidence in water after a lifelong fear - and eventually I removed them and swam!

angelikacpickles · 27/05/2017 23:56

There's no such thing as adult armbands surely?

Graceflorrick · 27/05/2017 23:58

Surely you can just swim in the shallow end of the pool - you don't need armbands.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 27/05/2017 23:58

YABU. Arm bands do not help and make you look ridiculous; I'm not surprised he's the one whose embarrassed.

OuchLegoHurts · 28/05/2017 00:01

Loads of adults in Ireland can't swim (including me) as we didn't learn in school but I have NEVER seen an adult wearing arm bands. Seriously?? Stand in the shallow end and learn there like the rest of us. I don't blame your husband. Can't believe you even sourced them, let alone wear them, sorry!

AmysTiara · 28/05/2017 00:03

Id laugh too.

Boulshired · 28/05/2017 00:04

I do have a pool by us which has no shallow end if you are under 5ft 3. My DP would probably not say anything but my teenagers would disown me for wearing armbands.

ohtheholidays · 28/05/2017 00:04

Nurse your husband is being a bullying arse and believe me no one else will be laughing along with him,if anything any one else would look at your husband and his behaviour and think what a knob!

I've learnt a couple of people to swim one was late teens and the other was an adult,you use what ever you like if it gives you more confidence but look for someone else to teach you,someone who is kind and understanding and you might want to tell your Husband to change his behaviour towards you or else you might not only replace him as your swimming instructor Wink

AmysTiara · 28/05/2017 00:10

I don't think the DH is a bullying arse ohtheholidays.

She's wearing armbands. Actual armbands Grin

Discobabe98 · 28/05/2017 00:19

Some of the replies on here are so bitchy. Really? She didn't ask to be bombarded with 'You should really take those off, they don't help' 'Get proper lessons then' 'I'd laugh too- an adult in armbands Grin' She just asked whether she was being unreasonable for not wanting to go with her DH when he is taking the piss out of her. OP, YANBU, that would really put me off as well. Hope he wises up.

HarrietSchulenberg · 28/05/2017 00:23

For all of you giggling at armbands, they look far less ridiculous than being buoyed up by a noodle/woggle thing which bobs out from under you when you try to move your arms. Floats are pointless for learning strokes as you can't use your arms, and yes, armbands do help keep you afloat. The advice to just keep trying by staying in the shallow end is again useless if you have no confidence, which is why I did not learn while still at primary school like everyone else, despite countless hours in various pools and 4 different swimming teachers.
If any of you had laughed at my armbands while I was teaching myself I would have been crushed and would probably have given up. Luckily my fellow pool users were supportive and weren't a bunch of sneery tossers, so I can now swim.

OP, just keep going, it's really worth it. I'll never be Rebecca Adlington but I can now do a decent breastroke and front crawl without panicking 5ft away from the side bar.

ErrolTheDragon · 28/05/2017 00:24

If her DH is supposed to be teaching the OP to swim, why didn't he research a bit how to do it, or buy her a noodle if that's what's more appropriate for someone who needs confidence? Taking the piss out of her when she's trying, and he knows it makes her feel bad and puts her off going is certainly being an arse.

And those of you joining in laughing at her are too. Evidently armbands which fit adults are on sale at her leisure centre so clearly not that outre.Hmm

TheMysteriousJackelope · 28/05/2017 00:30

I taught myself to swim.

First I got used to putting my face under water for longer and longer periods of time. When I got to around 10 seconds I tried to crawl along the bottom of the pool. Buoyancy pushed me back up to the surface and I was sort of float/crawling along A few goes at that and I was dog paddling. Then I started doing a horrible breast stroke. Then I was swimming.

If your DH is laughing at you he isn't teaching you to swim. You'd be better off investing in a professional teacher or just trying on your own. When you know how to swim, creep under your DH and pull him under, just for me.

keeplooking · 28/05/2017 01:34

I taught myself to swim a few years ago on holiday in a villa with a pool, using my son's armbands (which he no longer needed) on my lower arms! To all those saying that armbands are no good, let me tell you that whatever their value as a buoyancy aid, they were absolutely invaluable to me as a confidence aid. It's confidence which is the main barrier to swimming, not lack of buoyancy!

However.....I have to say, not in a trillion years would I ever have been caught using armbands in a public pool! Blush Blush Blush Blush Grin

araiwa · 28/05/2017 04:02

i bet everyone at the pool is laughing at you too

an adult with armbands? ffs

i hope to god you can ride a bike so he doesnt have to take you out with stabilizers on

DorisMcSweeney · 28/05/2017 06:40

araiwa that's really cruel. Quite funny though. Grin

HerBluebiro · 28/05/2017 06:53

Ffs why wouldn't an adult learn to ride a bike with stabilisers? Or to swim with arm bands? Or a pool noodle. Or learn to run by following a programme. Or read having lessons?

Would you all really laugh?

Would you not admire someone taking the the time in adulthood to learn something life changing or saving?

Op I second the suggestion you have some proper classes. And that armbands may not be the most efficient aid to help you learn. A good teacher would be able to tell you though. And most councils run adult swim classes.

But your dp should be protecting you from the sneers and laughter of such idiots as post on here. He should be boosting your confidence not tearing you down.

Have lessons with someone else

Well done for taking the plunge

rwalker · 28/05/2017 07:13

well done for learning loads of adults can't swim and never bother learning .Being honest you are wasting you time with armbands . the main purpose of armbands is to get people confidence in the water , they put in the wrong position it does make it harder to swim . You should be as straight as possible in the water with full strokes, you get the power from the last 1/3 of your stroke with a straight arm ,armbands will not let you do this you will be fighting against them .Please invest in some adult lessons .You will be with people in the same situation .Still go with dh use this time to get confident in water ,use one of those floating noodle things under you arms, try swimming with a pull bouy it's a float that you put between your thighs it lifts your hips up to put you in a better position to swim and stay in your own depth .I"am a good swimmer but taken it up properly now , had 2 lessons can"t believe the differance good technic makes ,you can literally go twice as far and fast with half the effort with flat body in straight line ,elbows high out of the water and a flat hand with closed finger cutting into the water instead of slamming it on top of the water . Do some research on youtube look at learning to swim technic then you know what to expect good luck

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 28/05/2017 07:27

When I was a teenager I worked as a lifeguard, and I was always impressed by the sheer bloody guts of the 40, 50, 60 and in a couple of cases 70-somethings who had decided to learn to swim. I knew there was no way I'd have been brave enough.

And yes, some of them wore arm-bands.

Mind you, OP, if DH tried to teach me anything, we'd probably end up divorced. Same would be true the other way round.