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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH taking piss out of my arm bands

144 replies

NurseScorne · 27/05/2017 21:45

Went swimming with DH this morning and he was constantly ripping the piss out of my arm bands. I've told him before about this and how it puts me off going swimming at all. AIBU to refuse to go with him in future? He says I'M embarrassing HIM

OP posts:

lifetothefull · 27/05/2017 22:01

I think I would take the piss out of my DH if he wore arm bands at the swimming pool.

youarenotkiddingme · 27/05/2017 22:02

Delores

I agree a noodle would be better but he still has no right to laugh.

ChunkyHare · 27/05/2017 22:03

My Mum had adult swimming lessons when she was in her late 50's, she could sort of swim before then but would not leave the shallow end of the pool.

By the time she finished she was like a fish.

Swimming is like anything, you need to do it often to get the hang of it. Your "D"h is being a dick. Pay for some one to one lessons or a class for adults. There should be some available to you at the local leisure centre.

Sara107 · 27/05/2017 22:06

A lot of swim schools don't recommend them for children, they don't really hold the body in a good alignment. As others are saying, try a noodle under your arms or a float board instead. I think you would be much better off getting adult lessons if you can find a beginner's class. Often it's quite hard to learn something like swimming or driving from someone you know. For one thing they are not actually experienced in teaching the skill, and other baggage gets in the way ( eg your dh mocking you!).

RB68 · 27/05/2017 22:06

Teachers don't take the piss

Go and get some lessons adults really do not need arm bands to learn you have to brave - stick to where you can stand if necessary.

Noodles are good to practice floating on your back, but most of all practice putting your face int he water and blowing air out - it will give you confidence when actually swimming that water on your face can be coped with. I would pay for 3 or 4 private lessons and get stuck in going every week to get the practice in

ShotsFired · 27/05/2017 22:09

Unless DH is a swimming instructor who laughs at his students, then he won't be able to understand how to break down the stroke to teach it to you effectively, and how to build it up over time. And then check you are doing it ok. And answer your questions as you go along. And so on...

Spend the money on a less rude professional teacher and learn properly. Then you can call him the amateur

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/05/2017 22:11

Dds swim instructor hates arm bands because you don't angle your body correctly in the water and they are a hindrance to learning to actually swim. Right now, you are incapable of swimming unaided and he is incapable of teaching you. Adult swim classes will rectify your incapability. Not so sure what would rectify his though. I'd be bloody annoyed at him for wilfully trying to knock your confidence. Learning to swim as an adults takes guts imo.

redshoeblueshoe · 27/05/2017 22:12

Go with Dolores suggestion, I saw noodles in Poundland today

Loopytiles · 27/05/2017 22:13

Your H clearly isn't the right person to help you learn to swim. There are some fantastic adult classes - small and private groups, or instructors with their own pool for one to one.

NoOneLikesACrispyTowel · 27/05/2017 22:13

I went swimming today and saw an adult in arm bands.

DangerousBeanz · 27/05/2017 22:14

I learned to swim in my 40's. They provided free lessons fur adults as my local pool. I used various floats as went from terrified to swimming several lengths in a few months.

Proper lessons are the best way to go.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 27/05/2017 22:14

Unless they are Barbie he is bu. .

user1482079332 · 27/05/2017 22:14

Sounds like an awful teacher, I'd ditch and get yourself a pro

TheNoodlesIncident · 27/05/2017 22:17

I used arm bands as a placebo, they weren't effective but I wasn't very confident and needed the mental boost. Been taught to swim in council lessons (at least, they taught me the breast stroke) and with my much more supportive DH. He didn't mock the armbands but he did keep taking a bit of air out of them until he could point out there wasn't actually any air in them, and the swimming I was doing was all my own... took them off and never looked back

You really need lessons from a supportive instructor, your DH is not cut out to be a teacher

Aeroflotgirl · 27/05/2017 22:19

Intrigued, I am off to google them 😬

newtlover · 27/05/2017 22:26

well done anyway for deciding to learn

ScouseAT · 27/05/2017 22:26

Home bargains are currently selling noodles. The are much more effective at helping you float plus don't restrict your arm movements. Good luck with the lessons and good on you for learning now!xx

KingIrving · 27/05/2017 22:27

Arm bands are the worse for learning to swim both for children and adults because they keep your body vertical and to swim you need to be horizontal, so use a noodle or a kick board while staying in waist high water or any depth where you are able to stand if needed.
Invest some money in private swimming lessons or adult classes. You need correct instructions on how to do it

HarrietSchulenberg · 27/05/2017 22:34

I taught myself to swim aged 41, using the kids' old armbands. I gradually let the air out of them until I was doing breastroke with empty bands, then took them off. They were great for me. Tried a float and a woggle/noodle thing but they were too restrictive and I didn't like them.

By far the most useful swimming aid for me was a good pair of goggles. Meant I could put my face in the water with confidence.

If armbands give you confidence, stick with them for now. Ditch your "teacher", watch some YouTube for clips of swimming strokes, and keep going.

TexasPete · 27/05/2017 22:37

He's only human

bailz · 27/05/2017 22:40

Do you really think they would support your weight in the water to prevent you from drowning?

FrenchMartiniTime · 27/05/2017 22:44

How would wearing armbands help you learn to swim?

I'm sorry OP but the thought of a grown woman wearing armbands sounds ridiculous.

If you feel your DH isn't a great teacher pay for adult lessons.

FrenchMartiniTime · 27/05/2017 22:45

TexasPete

BertieBotts · 27/05/2017 22:45

Ditch the armbands, really, you'll be alright. Don't go out of your depth until you're comfortable :)

Someone on MN shared this last year and I've had it saved because neither DS or I are very confident in water. We don't really have the cashflow to justify regular swimming at the moment but I did start a few of them and the steps seem really manageable.

www.enjoy-swimming.com/overcoming-fear-of-water-1.html

BertieBotts · 27/05/2017 22:47

Don't worry about all the fear stuff if you feel it doesn't apply - it's the step by step bit which is useful. Because what I didn't realise is that you genuinely do need to be comfortable going right under the water to learn to swim properly. If that sounds as alarming to you as it does to me, don't worry because the steps are very slow.

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