Looking after my partners other daughter

[ConConstance]

Sorry, I'm still new to MN and wasn't sure which topic to put this under.

My daughters dads (soon to be ex) wife has just showed up at my house (he doesn't live here) with their daughter and has left her here. She's 13 years old.

He is out with business clients all day and can't get back until at least 7pm at the earliest. He had arranged to her their daughter tomorrow instead which his wife agreed too. Clearly she's not happy with that. Didn't even come to door with her just drove off when I answered. I don't mind helping him out but really not happy her mum has just dumped her here.

I have only meet his other daughter a few times so as you can imagine it's pretty awkward. What the hell do I with a 13 year old I barely know for the next few hours?? Please help

I don't mind helping him out but really not happy her mum has just dumped her here - Awww bless you, my heart bleeds! I wonder how unhappy his ex felt when she found out he'd had a 5 year affair and a child with you! Come on OP bloody hell, you've been slightly inconvenienced - she's had her whole world ripped apart and so have her kids. No wonder she's acting offish and perhaps irrational! It's possible she's hanging onto her sanity by a thread here.

Gosh, what a great big cluster fuck you've worked yourself into.

I remember your previous two threads. You have shown scant regard to this mans wife or family so far - you had an affair for five years FFS!!

He is a proven liar and it is entirely possible he told his wife to drop his DD at your house.

I have every sympathy for her - you, not so much.

Ooh. Yes all that extra information puts a different spin on it.

His poor dd . Don't you think it's a bit strange she just dumped her dd? I'd be asking my partner what he really agreed re childcare today.....although there's not much point asking a liar.

So the 13year old is your child's half sibling as they share the same father. TV I'd say. Or try and cook with her or something

Looks like his ex wife has solved your dilemma on how to introduce their youngest daughter to your child. If she is desperate to meet her then step up, introduce her and make her welcome.

Did you want his ex to come to the door? You say your not happy that she was just left there, I expect that pales compared to how unhappy she was when she found out about her ex, you and your new child?

I'm not surprised that the ex wife knows where you live, why do people think that? But I am surprised that she would leave the girl without any idea of whether you had any plans for the day what if you were just about to go out somewhere that you couldn't take a 13 year old at no notice?

She's 13 and been dropped at the woman's house who her father has clearly been having an affair with? Wow. Her mother must be really really angry with him and you. I suspect so angry and upset she hasn't thought through how this will make her daughter feel.

I'm not sure what you should do OP. Offer her the tv for the afternoon? I'm not sure I'd want to spend time with you or my father under the circumstances, so be kind but give her space.

Oh come on ladies - DW is using her kids as ammo in the nastiest possible way.

OP, have a bit of fun with DSD - you sound nice and she needs it.

Tazer
I agree with your appraisal of the mother's feelings. She may also be feeling conflicted or even doubly betrayed by her dd as her dd for wants a relationship with the baby. What a mess. 😨

Or it's totally possible that the dad engineered this Tazer Lana Mummy. Or shitty enough to think that he's far too important and busy for childcare whilst he has two baby mommas. Or just plain thoughtless and didn't bother making a proper rearrangement.

'you sound nice'

Really?

8Lana* that's a shitty thing to say about the mother. Really, really shit.

Lana That's a shitty thing to say about the mother. Really, really shit.

I feel for the thirteen year old in this but as for the rest of you, I'm not sure I have much sympathy, although I have a small amount of sympathy for his ex wife.

If I were the daughter I wouldn't want to be anywhere near you, especially as a 13 year old who can work out what's gone on even if she's not been told.

Ask her what she wants to do but if there isn't much forthcoming then give her the television remote & leave her too it. Poor kid had her life completely blown apart.

It doesn't really matter what has gone on before. Dumping your child somewhere without prior arrangement is a horrible way to treat a child regardless.

Even if the dad told her to do it it's still a shitty thing to do.

*to

Rhythm

You may be right. He sounds totally disrespectful of everyone else including op.

Tbf a confrontation on the doorstep would have been worse than just leaving her on the doorstep. Pretty sure she'd have words for you OP and not sure they'd be very nice.

mess of your own making

you reap what you sow.

Well none of this is the 13 year old's fault so make sure you don't make her feel like it is.

Rainbow, wether she will be dying for it or not , requesting it wouldn't hurt anyone. Now if she's that much of a cretine who thinks the woman is so awful she can't meet her she shouldn't dump her kid there and drive off, that's the point I am trying to make. Everyone should try and put their diferences aside because the problem here doesn't seem to be how OP got into a relationship with the father of the teenager, it's how the soon to be ex is acting , very childish , you got cheat on or not have some decency , hand over your under age child to an adult , in person , yourself, like a mother , no wonder he left her ! Lol.