WIBU to complain to after school club about the food and screens?

[ElphabaTheGreen]

When I say 'complain', I'm thinking anonymous polite feedback letter because I'm a coward so as not to make things awkward.

DS1's before and after school club is really very good - lovely staff, great activities, reasonable fees and open good hours. But two things irk DH and me and I want to know if the MN jury think we're BU.

1. They are fed (in our opinion) crazy amounts of unhealthy food. A weekly menu, fed to them at around 4pm, is thus:

• Hot dogs and chips
• Fish fingers on a bun
• Pasta with ham
• Baked beans, sausages and potato waffles
• Chicken nuggets and crisps

They then get given a biscuit upon departure. Salad is offered. I know this because there is an enormous bowl of it, virtually untouched, sitting next to the dregs of the remaining hot food when I arrive.

Their website describes this as a 'substantial snack'. I call this a full meal and DS is so full of processed crap when he gets home, he doesn't want to sit with us for a family dinner, where we serve (in his opinion) disgusting things containing vegetables and the like. They also seem to routinely coordinate the day they serve chips with the school dinner chip day, so DS1 has invariably had double chips in one day. When I was at after school club myself, we got fruit and crackers with some kind of spread, and it was perfectly sufficient to keep us going until a proper dinner at home. I'd rather not give DS a snack and tell him not to eat the after school club food as I don't want him to feel singled out. DS2 will be starting there next year and he puts on weight far more easily than skinny DS1 so I'll be livid if I end up with a letter telling me he's overweight, when it would be because of the crap fed to them at school.

1. They always run a movie on a big screen AND have a PlayStation/X-box on a separate screen. They're currently raising money to buy a second PlayStation. They provide loads of other activities, games, books, not to mention dozens of other children to play with and free access to the school's absolutely beautiful, huge playground. Are DH and I BU to think the screens are absolutely unnecessary with all this? There is always a sizeable crowd of stationary kids around the screens (probably rendered motionless by their 'substantial snack' beforehand) despite all these other options, and even in lovely weather when they should be tearing around outside. I just think it encourages sedentary behaviour and will create fat kids in combination with that food.

I don't know any of the other parents well enough to garner their opinion on these issues so thought I'd don my hard hat and flame-retardant vest for AIBU instead.

Hang on. They are not 'parked' in front of a screen.

DS1's before and after school club is really very good - lovely staff, great activities reasonable fees and open good hours.

You are NEVER going to get 100% perfection. The above is excellent and your two negatives are solvable. A packed tea and tell him only screens on e.g. Friday.

He's four, hippy. I have no confidence whatsoever that he would do what I told him to. At the very least he would go to the colouring table because he's positioned in prime position in front of that day's showing of Moana. Also, at four, I think it's a bit harsh to be making him go against what all the other children are doing and have the impulse control to resist chips. My first action will be to see if the managers have any reasonable explanations or evidence that parents are wholly in favour of the food and screens. If they give assurance of both then, and only then, would I consider giving him a separate snack to take in and ask them not to give him their food. I honestly think I would have Buckley's chance of getting him to stay away from the main screen, as all the games and craft tables are in front of a movie covering an entire wall. He's had no exposure to video games so that doesn't really interest him...yet. I will have to just lump that with an otherwise very good club (that actually isn't much less than full time nursery fees, but I'll allow you all to continue outdoing yourselves in leaping to conclusions).

You are hilarious, OP. You come across as very superior regarding the standards you expect from the after school provision which has been put in place to help you, but you admit you can't meet the standard you expect yourself. In their shoes I would smile, nod and say other patrons were very happy, then move along.

I agree he's too young to have to be responsible for resisting food everyone else is eating etc. My dd is 5 and i don't think she would do as I asked.

Oh, Trifle, do go and be deliberately obtuse elsewhere, there's a dear. Or go watch telly for a bit. I won't have to bother with you then.

We set up an afterschool childcare club as a favour to parents as there were limited other options, but over the course of a week we don't break even. We have to make sure we have enough staff, with the right levels of qualifications, plus the relevant first aid qualifications. Numbers fluctuate throughout the week, but are unpredictable, so we still need the staff, food, running costs, etc. Parents expect to cancel without charge and to be able to phone school at 3pm to add their child for that day and get grumpy when we have to say no as it takes us over ratios without another adult being available with 20mins notice.

We canvassed parents when we opened as to what they wanted, but the requirements were so varied we couldn't accommodate everyone's requests. Support with homework, supervised outside sports, hearing the child read, games or crafts indoors, competing food requirements, including several options of fully cooked meals, microwaved home food, freshly prepared light snack, all with two or three staff and children from 4 - 11. Our staff have a job to do elsewhere until 10 minutes before start time, so they don't have time to set up and accommodate all these requests. So for us its a "take its as we provide it or leave it" approach.

I agree with both your objections, OP, and I think you should send a politely worded email outlining them. But really don't make it anonymous.

ElphabaTheGreen

You don't have to bother with me now. You asked a question, I'm answering it.

@user1955 we have similar. £25 per week and many parents seem to expect us to provide Waitrose food and spend the whole session making sure their darling doesn't do whichever activity they don't want them to do this week.

If you don't want your child to play on the screens at ASC then tell your child not to play on them. Ask the staff to encourage your child to do other things, but you'll probably find they already are (we have similar with parents wanting their child to do the games activity rather than art).

By all means ask about the food situation, but no facility is going to buy food that will get wasted, and it sounds like many kids have a meal at the asc your child attends.

Playing tennis or hula hoop or whatever on a Wii far more active than playing Monopoly. I will stand by that statement because that child was absolutely correct.

Childcare settings, like schoools, don't fit every child so don't be surprised if they have a "take it or leave it" approach". If it works for the majority then they are not going to change everything for one child.

My ds used to get food like this at after school club. We still had family meals but he had a drink and vegetables rather than a full meal unless he was really hungry. We still had the sociability and the chat- but he only ate the missing food groups!

Incidentally. If you watch a group of children playing play station games, they are often being incredibly sociable.

You bitch and moan but its true. You wont move him cos you dont want to pay.
You want what appears to be a popular after school club to parent to your liking put you are too cheap to pay for it....shame.

it's a shame that the standards have dropped so much, playwork and after school clubs were very much invested in in the late 90s but the coalition got in and cut the majority of planned 'professionalism' for wraparound care, and yes there were high standards for all children at all settings, ofsted regulated.

It's just a shame it all got dropped hence you get early year/ta's people who aren't qualified specifically in 5-12 year old care running the clubs.

There are playwork principles if anyone if interested. Yes it was child led, but it also provided play types and activities children should all be offered instead of the easy sit infront of a dvd/consul which they do in their free time anyway.

The playwork industry is alive but not particularly well and all our children will suffer from the majority of councils not making childrens play a statutory requirement as it should be...

The food sounds rubbish but I wouldn't mind about the screens,

They have one PS at ours and it's always activity games dancing etc..

I don't see the big issue with them watching a film if they like, they've been in school all day and surely if they want to sit relax and watch a film for a bit that's not a big problem, much like I'd want to after work.

When it's sunny they are all out anyway, but it's nice on a crappy winter evening.

OP I agree with your concerns (the menu sounds awful) but your comments about childminders are a bit off the mark IMO. DD is with a CM who has a large garden and there are several parks near her house so DD gets lots of playtime in open spaces. CM looks after other kids and regularly has other CM friends over with their mindees so DD gets plenty of opportunity to socialise with other kids in addition to attending a school nursery 5 mornings a week.

She starts Reception this year and her CM will pick her up after school on the 2 days DP and I are unable to. The ASC was not something we considered an option because we were concerned about the very issues you are facing and we thought at that at 4 yrs old we'd prefer her to be in a home environment after school when we can't pick her up. I understand why you don't want to change your son's arrangements though. DD finds it hard to adapt to change and I know she would not join in with activities at an ASC as she is so settled with her CM.

Funnily enough the CM doesn't have a TV as she has looked after a succession of kids whose parents do not have one (seems to be a thing amongst certain parents in this part of London!) and/or did not want them to watch any screens at all.