WIBU to complain to after school club about the food and screens?

[ElphabaTheGreen]

When I say 'complain', I'm thinking anonymous polite feedback letter because I'm a coward so as not to make things awkward.

DS1's before and after school club is really very good - lovely staff, great activities, reasonable fees and open good hours. But two things irk DH and me and I want to know if the MN jury think we're BU.

1. They are fed (in our opinion) crazy amounts of unhealthy food. A weekly menu, fed to them at around 4pm, is thus:

• Hot dogs and chips
• Fish fingers on a bun
• Pasta with ham
• Baked beans, sausages and potato waffles
• Chicken nuggets and crisps

They then get given a biscuit upon departure. Salad is offered. I know this because there is an enormous bowl of it, virtually untouched, sitting next to the dregs of the remaining hot food when I arrive.

Their website describes this as a 'substantial snack'. I call this a full meal and DS is so full of processed crap when he gets home, he doesn't want to sit with us for a family dinner, where we serve (in his opinion) disgusting things containing vegetables and the like. They also seem to routinely coordinate the day they serve chips with the school dinner chip day, so DS1 has invariably had double chips in one day. When I was at after school club myself, we got fruit and crackers with some kind of spread, and it was perfectly sufficient to keep us going until a proper dinner at home. I'd rather not give DS a snack and tell him not to eat the after school club food as I don't want him to feel singled out. DS2 will be starting there next year and he puts on weight far more easily than skinny DS1 so I'll be livid if I end up with a letter telling me he's overweight, when it would be because of the crap fed to them at school.

1. They always run a movie on a big screen AND have a PlayStation/X-box on a separate screen. They're currently raising money to buy a second PlayStation. They provide loads of other activities, games, books, not to mention dozens of other children to play with and free access to the school's absolutely beautiful, huge playground. Are DH and I BU to think the screens are absolutely unnecessary with all this? There is always a sizeable crowd of stationary kids around the screens (probably rendered motionless by their 'substantial snack' beforehand) despite all these other options, and even in lovely weather when they should be tearing around outside. I just think it encourages sedentary behaviour and will create fat kids in combination with that food.

I don't know any of the other parents well enough to garner their opinion on these issues so thought I'd don my hard hat and flame-retardant vest for AIBU instead.

Make sure yours don't use the screens and take the other options.
Be prepared for other kids taunting your dm doesn't allow you to play on these. Just tell the staff they can't have them.
They won't stop them as many parents won't need to use screens to get ready for work in a morning and be happy for their dc to play on them.

I work a breakfast/after school club and that does seem like an excessive amount of screen time and crap foods. We don't serve any hot food so they have like a "snack" about 3;30 which is wraps with ham, cheese veg etc or jacket potatoes with similar or pasta salads and then there is fruit and yoghurt. At breakfast club its fruit, cereals or toast and we try to give them a gentle start to the day as its an early start for some of the younger ones, especially if they're coming to us after school too. At after school club its snack, free play and an activity which they can choose to do if they like but we encourage a lot of outdoor stuff too. On a friday we roll out the projector and they can watch a film or play but thats the only screen time they have. I would raise your concerns with them, do you have options other than sending them though? As if not unless lots of parents complain theres not much chance of things changing. Is it the school that runs it or is it an outside company? An outside company should be being regulated and monitored to ensure healthy food, inkeeping with goverment guide lines and EYFS material.

Can't you just go in and talk to them in a lovely, friendly, I really appreciate everything you do, Ds1 is so happy here which is such a weight off my mind.. but I was just wondering and am a bit worried because my ds2 will be starting soon and is prone to be a couch potato" way...

I went to talk to the staff at my DS1's afternoon club in that way for the opposite reason - except for the time he is actually tied to the chair to make him stay still doing homework he is running about playing football, no matter what the weather. I have never picked him up not sweaty and caked in mud from the football field... That, obviously, is great, wonderful, just right for him... however he is absolutely ravenous when I pick him up and on top of the 100€ per month we pay for the childcare, we pay 5€ per day for him to be fed a hot meal. He often says he has had only a tiny portion, and that is what I went in to talk to them about.

Turns out he doesn't eat his veg at afternoon club, though they admit the portions of protein and carbs provided externally are sometimes skimpy - so they have agreed they will talk again to the suppliers about portions, and I have told DS he has to eat the veg otherwise he has no grounds to complain he is hungry!

Talk to them? Why would you write a letter instead of having a friendly two way conversation? Get to know the carers a bit, it can only be a good thing!

They offer salad, they can't force the children to eat it. I also think it's nice that the children can chill in front of a screen. School days are full on, some downtime is good.

maybe speak to your son about what he should choose to eat/do? I mean - i think it would be futile to try and speak to the school to make then alter their food/screen time just because you don't like it for you son... and while i think they will take your suggestions into consideration - i very much doubt they will alter anything. I think your best bet is to speak to your son and encourage him to eat healthier foods (the salad!) and also spend less time on the playstation - use the park more etc

It always amazes me when parents get other people to look after their children then do nothing but moan about it. If you don't like what's on offer, look after them yourself.

Given he gets plenty of social interaction at school, why does he need more at an after school club.....?

I know mine are quite tired after school so a childminder would be much better.

Why arent children allowed to relax?
6 hours at school learning, doing crafts, running around during breaks and PE, reading and they are then expected to do it all again after school. If they were at home they would probably be having some screen time/playing on the x box and relaxing.
After school club is not school.

As for the food they have healthy options and the fact they are providing these options still leads me to think other parents have not complained.

I would imagine you dont want to move him because its cheap. Then you need to accept they cater for the masses.

That's a lot for snack. DD gets something like soup and bread, wrap with ham or cheese, crackers with marmite, veggie dippers and humus, sausage roll, boiled egg, with a drink and there's a fruit bowl with apples or whatever that they can dip into. I think you need to speak to the organisers - some parents may be happy as it is. But perhaps they could put on a lighter option as well?

Can you pack a snack for him instead and tell the club he isn't to eat their snack as it's stopping him from eating dinner?
Probably from the club POV, the food you describe has the highest rate of actually getting eaten by kids rather than moaned about and wasted.

On the screens issue you'll have to discuss that with your ds And encourage him yo make better choices. I don't think a PlayStation is a problem personally though.

If you're not happy with it, change childcare providers.

I also don't know why you're trying to feed him a second dinner at home, knowing what he's had to eat at after school club.

I would be very unhappy with both of those issues but you lost points when you said you "need" to use screens in the morning nope you don't need to you choose to which is what the club are doing

If you want them to eat a full meal (which would be my preference, but ours provides wraps/crackers etc) then I'd ask them to do more about healthy eating - pasta with veggie sauce, peas or sweetcorn as a side with the fish fingers are usually well tolerated.

If you prefer them to give a snack, send it with them and ask them not to give your DC the meal- that will be less awkward than "don't let them eat too much".

I would have a word about the screen time - does their Ofsted say anything about this? Ours has the odd film before Christmas/holidays. Screen time is actually more sedentary than other activities that appear to be - lower metabolism etc.

The screens would bother me more tbh as I know my kids would waste a considerable amount of time stood there watching. The food would bother me less so. I'd consider it tea and just offer a healthy, light supper later. Fresh fruit salad or homemade soup or something.

The after school club where I "work" (I volunteer in a different capacity during the day, after school club takes over from me!) offers sandwiches and fruit (plus squash/water) to eat. I don't see it as a meal replacement, just something to have after school because they are hungry.
They used to have a TV, but parents complained so this has now been removed. Think they do playing out if the weather is good, craft activities, playing with the toys and supervised homework for the older ones.

I went to one of these clubs and we got given slices of pizza/chicken burgers/small bowls of pasta and sauce but it was the 00s, so. And there was at least 2 different games consoles for us to play on.

Personally I think the screen time is fine, they aren't toddlers and some want down time after school.

If you don't like the food I would send in packed tea/snack for them.

Ours has healthy snacks including toast. They play outside if the weather is good until 5. Otherwise they do Lego/painting/crafts/board games/ dolls/ reading etc until 4.30 and then a film gets put on, which about half of them watch, the rest carry on playing. There is a games console which they can sign up alone or in pairs for a 15 min slot, no 'watching' others allowed. This is policed quite strictly. Could you maybe suggest that the screens don't go on straight away?

I would definitely not be happy with either scenario and, even though I don't like confrontation either, I would certainly have to raise these issues (perhaps by email
in the first instance). The menu should definitely be healthier - I am surprised they are able to serve such unhealthy options ; and there is absolutely no need for gaming with so many other options for play available. Do any other parents share your concerns?

I think the snacks aren't acceptable. I can't believe rubbish like that could be served up in this day and age. However, while I'm quite strict at home with screen time for my dcs, I'm sympathetic to after school clubs using them. The kids are tired after a long day at school and some just want to zone out for a while. If I was in charge though I'd try to find a way of limiting the time for each child.

I would call those snacks totally unacceptable - and I run an ASC (but in Scotland)

If our inspectors caught wind of us serving that sort of food we'd be downgraded. We don't do something as heavy - two types of fruit and a carb of some sort every day, rather than actual meals.

I'm not a huge fan of big screen either. We are expected to provide access to technology which we do via tablets, but time per child is limited so they don't spend hours sitting around and they're not even out every day.

No way would I be sending a child there.

We have the same issue here - DD, age 4, ate TWO custard doughnuts and a serving of nachos the other day - and then wondered why I wouldn't buy her an ice cream like I promised I would after I picked her up. DS has allergies and poor him didn't have anything other than the healthy snacks cos they don't provide an alternative despite me saying that I could send something in if I know they are having a treat. It takes away my ability as a parent to weigh up diet to see when they can have that ice cream. Ours also has computers which I don't mind as much although I would much prefer it if they played outside together. YANBU.

And we also can't move them, the staff are lovely, it is on-site and works for our working hours, the local CMs are full and there is a waiting list for the ASC.

You've already said you aren't going to move to a different provider, which to be honest doesn't give you much leverage. Try talking to them in a way open to compromise about the screen time etc, but you may well have to accept this is their approach and you have to like it or lump it.