WIBU to complain to after school club about the food and screens?

[ElphabaTheGreen]

When I say 'complain', I'm thinking anonymous polite feedback letter because I'm a coward so as not to make things awkward.

DS1's before and after school club is really very good - lovely staff, great activities, reasonable fees and open good hours. But two things irk DH and me and I want to know if the MN jury think we're BU.

1. They are fed (in our opinion) crazy amounts of unhealthy food. A weekly menu, fed to them at around 4pm, is thus:

• Hot dogs and chips
• Fish fingers on a bun
• Pasta with ham
• Baked beans, sausages and potato waffles
• Chicken nuggets and crisps

They then get given a biscuit upon departure. Salad is offered. I know this because there is an enormous bowl of it, virtually untouched, sitting next to the dregs of the remaining hot food when I arrive.

Their website describes this as a 'substantial snack'. I call this a full meal and DS is so full of processed crap when he gets home, he doesn't want to sit with us for a family dinner, where we serve (in his opinion) disgusting things containing vegetables and the like. They also seem to routinely coordinate the day they serve chips with the school dinner chip day, so DS1 has invariably had double chips in one day. When I was at after school club myself, we got fruit and crackers with some kind of spread, and it was perfectly sufficient to keep us going until a proper dinner at home. I'd rather not give DS a snack and tell him not to eat the after school club food as I don't want him to feel singled out. DS2 will be starting there next year and he puts on weight far more easily than skinny DS1 so I'll be livid if I end up with a letter telling me he's overweight, when it would be because of the crap fed to them at school.

1. They always run a movie on a big screen AND have a PlayStation/X-box on a separate screen. They're currently raising money to buy a second PlayStation. They provide loads of other activities, games, books, not to mention dozens of other children to play with and free access to the school's absolutely beautiful, huge playground. Are DH and I BU to think the screens are absolutely unnecessary with all this? There is always a sizeable crowd of stationary kids around the screens (probably rendered motionless by their 'substantial snack' beforehand) despite all these other options, and even in lovely weather when they should be tearing around outside. I just think it encourages sedentary behaviour and will create fat kids in combination with that food.

I don't know any of the other parents well enough to garner their opinion on these issues so thought I'd don my hard hat and flame-retardant vest for AIBU instead.

Flossy! You should know we don't get anywhere on AIBU without excessive exaggeration every few posts.

ElphabaTheGreen

I think it comes down to what an after school club is supposed to be. If I understand it rightly, it'a wraparound care, there to support you, probably provided at cost rather than to make a profit. It isn't a high quality childcare setting. You seem to be expecting quite a lot from them. They may offer food because other parents have asked for it, for example, so rather than asking them to stop, perhaps just tell your son not to eat it. Rather than asking them to turn the screens off, tell your son to play outside.

Do your children go to breakfast club and after school club? If so that's about 10 hours in school, 5 days a week! Children need to have the chance to chill out after school and if they want to watch a movie or play on the play station there is no harm in it!
If you don't like, get part time work and look after your children yourself!

Sorry Hippy I forgot myself for a moment there

If I am not happy with how my child is cared for then I dint expect the world to change around them.
You have choices OP but you instead you want all the other children to follow what you think is best for your son

rather than asking them to stop, perhaps just tell your son not to eat it. Rather than asking them to turn the screens off, tell your son to play outside

I agree with this - my girls used to choose salad rather than the junk because
a. we told them to
b. they knew we were going to eat a proper meal after.

this was aged 4+ - kids can be taught by parents to make the right choices from an early age - it is not all about blaming others for your kids choices.

If you want better care, pay for better care. Most kids clubs are not for profit.

If you're going to say something, don't do so anonymously. Give them a chance to respond to you.

I wouldn't be very happy with what you describe either.

The after school club at DS1's infant school just serves a variety of sandwiches and fruit for the children.
No screens that I've seen (although I know the school has tablets, so it's possible the children are allowed those sometimes). They've usually got a range of tables set up with activities like play doh, colouring, jigsaws, board games and so on, plus access to books and toys, and they've sometimes been outside playing when the weather's good.
But it is just an infant school, so the concerns like the one a pp raised about older kids picking on younger ones maybe aren't so much of an issue.

I think you'd be entitled to say something - I'd be less than happy and I'm in no way uptight over diet and screen time, but it does seem a bit much. However I don't think you should send an anonymous letter, it will get their backs up. Raise your concerns and be ready to provide alternative suggestions.

My kids ASC serves veggie soup/crackers/cereal/small sandwich/toast as a snack, plus fruit. On Fridays they bake and bring home a small cake or piece of brownie they have made. There are no screens. When I picked my two up yesterday they were having a water fight in the yard

You don't want to send a snack you approve of so it your DS isn't singled out, but you do want to make the club change the way they run to suit you! If the club is popular and successful have you not considered that other parents are quite happy for their children to eat a substantial tea there and get some downtime with a PlayStation?

I am unhappy about 'beige' food at my dd's after school club, she also has a propensity to gain weight too so YANBU on this aspect imo. I would prefer fruit to be offered,
However I realise my daughters eating habits are not the ASC problem therefore she is instructed to eat small portions And try to make healthy choices. We only let her have a light dinner if she eats at ASC.
They do encourage outdoor play, however the kids are so wiped out I think they've deserve a lounge around too.

What you are wanting to do is change everything just to suit your child. Other parents are clearly happy with the food and activities otherwise they would have complained and things would have changed.

This.

Sometimes though lots of people aren't happy - they mutter amongst themselves, or move their children, but no one actually complains

Our after school club has a similar set up and lovely staff but the food and activities are a bit better than you're describing.

They proactively ask for feedback and make changes - most recently asking whether parents were happy for children to have processed stuff like biscuits for snacks (in addition to the meal served) and if not, what ideas we could suggest for healthy alternatives.

Although they have one screen (used for either films or xbox), most children seem to be doing craft activities or playing outside when I arrive to collect my two. I don't know if that's because there's only one screen or because the staff are encouraging children away to do other things.

If you give your after school club some suggestions you might well find that they'll be happy to make some changes. After all, if they're able to retain great staff they clearly care.

Sometimes though lots of people aren't happy - they mutter amongst themselves, or move their children, but no one actually complains

That's what I think bigkids. I can't imagine that I'm alone in thinking the crap food and screens are OK. They've not sought feedback once in the year he's been there. So I really don't think I'm expecting the whole thing to change for the sole benefit of my child, thanks

i've worked in after school clubs and playschemes and one of the most depressing ones was where they sat all the children down to watch a crap film then turned all the lights off! it was crap and i know better now and would say something as a worker.

Screens shouldn't really be at after school clubs imo

I agree in principle with you as healthier food and physical activity would, of course be preferable, however I expect most children will be tired after a full day at school not to mention maybe hungry?? They are catering for the majority of kids food wise like on kids menus in restaurants. I would be thrilled if my children had had their supper before coming home if I've been working all day. I'm sure it doesn't suit some parents to just have a snack at the asc...my dh like to eat together after our kids have gone to bed and then together with the kids at the weekend...

Again I agree up to a point re: the screen time but, as I said above many of the kids will be tired and many might not have PlayStations etc at home like your kids so go home to read/play board games etc...others might go to sports practices/matches after asc...

I definitely think you should speak to the people who run this club as you are a paying customer and your opinion is important, however it does seem as though you're trying to change things to suit yourself and your way of doing things and in doing so will probably be inconveniencing other parents...suggest some healthier meal options etc...don't just complain.

Our ASD used to have small healthy snacks that OP would love. They switched to "substantial snack" because so many parents wanted their kids to be fed dinner (but if it's called a meal then they are expected.to meet hight nutritional standards which makes it unaffordable and the kids want the cheap filler anyway).

If you collect your kid at 6, home for 6.30, and the Reception kid starts getting ready for bed at 7, then it makes life much easier to only have to give them a healthy snack yourself.

Equally the ASC didn't use screens until it got so oversubscribed it had to separate the kids into multiple rooms, so now there's often a movie on as an option, especially if it's raining.

The food would be a big issue for me.

If the club is on school premises and the school is a state one, or converted to an academy recently then all food served should comply with the School Food Standards. This includes food served before and after school. This limits fried food and processed meat.

I think your first step would be to see if they're aware of the standards. I would then be getting senior leadership team involved as complying to SFS is a legal obligation for state schools.

Oh you can't win with snack size when you run an asc. We do regular feedback surveys and get too big, too small and just right in response- from parents of kids of the same age.

^What you are wanting to do is change everything just to suit your child.
Other parents are clearly happy with the food and activities otherwise they would have complained and things would have changed^

Rubbish. The OP is canvassing opinions on here to see if she is odd in thinking what she is thinking. Opinions are fairly even, and I suspect that is what is reflected amongst the parents of the children who attend.
There is no need to be feeding children a meal, so the arguments about them being easy to make are daft. IME most afterschool provision provide toast and fruit. It is supposed to be a snack to keep you going until your evening meal. They would actually save money if they didn't try and stuff an extra meal into them. As I think all posters have said, there is nothing wrong with dc having any of those meals now and then, but not as a replacement for a varied dinner with the family every night.
Same with screens - Nobody has said all screens are evil and no child should ever have a screen, but that isn't what the OP is asking for, she is asking for some boundaries, some regulation of the children's expectations.... you know, good parenting.
When my dc were at Primary, the ASC were always outside playing - sometimes something a bit more structured like a big game of cricket, sometimes just in ones and twos "being" outside. Some dc liked to settle down and get any homework out the way, some like do do a bit of colouring or some crafts or settle down with a book for a while. Yes, people played board games too. Occasionally - maybe on the 3rd really rainy day on the trot, they might put on a film, but it never dominated the room, and certainly not as the only option or 3hrs x 5 days a week, which some dc will due if they aren't regulated.
It isn't a matter of complaining though, it's a matter of making suggestions - for example the poster upthread who said their afterschool club allowed people to sign up for a 20min slot on the play station.

They should not have Playsations and X-boxes!!! Is this on school premises? I would object. Very lazy and ignorant approach by staff. Its amazing these people are in charge of young childen.

Very lazy and ignorant approach by staff. Its amazing these people are in charge of young childen.

Laughing my arse off at this

There is no need to be feeding children a meal, so the arguments about them being easy to make are daft

How do you know what the requirements of the other parents are?

Screens shouldn't really be at after school clubs

^Agree with oddthing

Beyond lazy.

Why are you larfing your arse. It is lazy. Its not a club. Trifle Perhaps you just have as lower expectations as these "childminders".

Jesus wept! 'I want the childcare to go my way!' Then find a nanny or childminder who operates how you want them to rather than expecting an entire club to kowtow to your demands or tell your children to select the options you prefer. I'd be fine with this set up as long as my kids were happy there and liked the staff. Obviously enough parents are so they continue operating this way. If you feel otherwise, why not organise a grassroots protest group. Maybe band together to form your own afterschool co-op providing what you all want at the same cost you pay now and see how you get on.