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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to feel like giving up on the UK

171 replies

Fairysnuff321 · 26/05/2017 09:36

My OH is EU born, but has been living here with me and working , paying tax (go those who read the Daily Mail this may shock you)for 20 yrs. He has started his own business and is well respected in his industry. I've always worked in advocacy/counselling/support jobs, I am struggling to get back into work despite years of experience and training because of the lack of funding for these services.

I feel like accepting we have to leave the UK for the sake of our DD. I know so many people in this situation, and feel really sad that every day I hear stories like this...
"I work in the City as does my French partner: the European bankers, lawyers and asset managers are all talking about how London has changed for them now and are thinking it may be time to head home."
My husband feels the same.

OP posts:

MissionItsPossible · 29/05/2017 12:09

Hummus I totally get you. IMO Anyone who says they are moving from the UK to Australia because of racism is like saying they are moving from the UK to China because they think the UK is cruel to animals.

AntigoneJones · 29/05/2017 12:36

Anyway lets be honest now, any white Brits who move to Australia for a 'better standard of living' would only achieve that on the back of the original Australians being dispossessed and marginalised, and in fact decimated, kind of recently. I guess they must be aware of that and have justified it to themselves.

JanetBrown2015 · 29/05/2017 12:59

I suspect the original post is as much about the fact women should never give up full time careers and instead live off male earnings, as they always regret it later, as about much about the state of the UK, isnt' it? If you have two full time wages you tend to have more options in life and can protect your children better when times are difficult.

Original poster

Fairysnuff321 · 29/05/2017 19:43

Thanks for that insight on that JanetBrown you are totally off the mark. I didn't choose to become redundant. It happened because the Conservative government decided to Drastically reduce the statutory advocacy service we provided helping people raise concerns in the NHS. These redundancies were announced the same time the Stafford report came out. You remember the huge disaster in Stafford hospital? and the report saying that warning signs were missed because people were not receiving support to make complaints.

OP posts:

Original poster

Fairysnuff321 · 29/05/2017 20:04

BillSykesDog I was never very highly paid. I worked making sure people got heard if they had problems accessing healthcare, and before that supporting women who had experienced domestic abuse. Don't pretend to know what I'm thinking or my circumstances. A massive part of my concern is not that I'm struggling to get work, it's that these services are no longer getting funding. What really fucks me off is the way this country is going where we are failing to support people at their most vulnerable... that is what really fucks me off. I've taken lower pay to do tough jobs that are undervalued, because I believed in Britain and in communities, that we are stronger together. That we are nothing if we don't look after those in need.
if I couldn't find work because these jobs weren't needed anymore I'd be ecstatic, and just do anything else. The reason these jobs have gone is because this government don't give a shit about you or me or any of the rest of us, apart from their rich donars.
Don't tell me what I do and don't care about!
somethingonce most aren't talking about it to everyone, but from the people I know it's on their minds. We are just getting on with it in the real world.

OP posts:

GloriaV · 29/05/2017 20:31

Is there free advocacy/ support and counselling in other countries?
I think you will mostly find this in countries with free services or you would take your money elsewhere.

Original poster

Fairysnuff321 · 29/05/2017 20:37

haven't you noticed yet that British born and trained healthcare workers are also leaving ? We paid to train them but they are being ignored when they raise concerns to the government. They spent years training for jobs caring for others, and believing in the NHS. But that's going and it's nothing to do with immigration. The greedy bankers, tax dodging companies and unchecked profiteering by the likes of May's other half are what has caused austerity.
The lack of regulation of zero hours minimum wages, destruction of unions are what's driving the race to the bottom for workers. Low paid foreign workers aren't causing this. It's the rich profiteering at the expense of people who are at the bottom of the pay scale. There are few protections left for workers, and if May gets back in they'll be none.

btw I have never had or could have a nanny, and have never bought a sandwich in Pret. But hey don't let that stop you from using easy assumptions to dismiss my concerns.
I'm as worried for the people who think this is a great idea as I am for me. Unless of course you all have private healthcare, in which case why aren't you worried about the rest of us who can't afford it?

OP posts:

Original poster

Fairysnuff321 · 29/05/2017 20:42

Btw anyone concerned about people using food banks and driven to suicide, but this governments benefit cuts and health assessments?

OP posts:

PainCanBeBeautiful · 29/05/2017 22:41

So you are so concerned, that because you don't earn what you used to you are leaving the people you are concerned about behind?

I'm actually baffled by your post.

PainCanBeBeautiful · 29/05/2017 22:41

If I've got that wrong I apologise. I really am confused.

JanetBrown2015 · 30/05/2017 08:36

My ancestors moved countries to get work. People always have.

It sounds like you cannot get a job where you currently live, but your non UK born husband might be able to move his business back to his original country and if you moved with him you might find work back there. Might be worth a try.

user1491572121 · 30/05/2017 09:24

Australian hospitals are full of British doctors and nurses it's true.

Original poster

Fairysnuff321 · 30/05/2017 16:43

Paincanbebeautiful thanks, no it's not because of not being able to earn the same, tbh I really don't want to move, and won't unless OH is forced to. We want to do our best to be here for my dad. I'm just feeling reallly concerned about a future for the UK with no NHS and the other changes this government are going to force through under the radar because they are pretending it's all about BREXIT.
By the time enough people realise, I'm worried we'll have lost so much, education, workers rights, welfare protection for the vulnerable, access to healthcare that everyone will be too beaten down to fight anymore. That's on top of the existing changes stopping whistle blowing and planned changes to ensure government control of the internet. I fear we are sleepwalking into a dictatorship.

OP posts:

MissionItsPossible · 30/05/2017 20:43

So the concern about a future that might leave the country without the NHS is enough to prompt you into considering moving to a country that doesn't have the NHS?

I fear we are sleepwalking into a dictatorship.

That has already happened, unfortunately. It's not a UK exclusive problem though.

PainCanBeBeautiful · 30/05/2017 20:46

Ok so either take your dad with you or don't go.

If leaving your dad behind is an issue then why can't you take him with you? If losing the NHS is an issue then surely leaving your dad in its care doesn't make sense? Im assuming he is in a home because you haven't said otherwise and I'm unsure why he can't also go with you if he isn't? Also if you can take him and he doesn't want to go then why should that be a reason to stay if he can manage himself then I don't see the issue in you leaving but visiting and vice versa.

Original poster

Fairysnuff321 · 01/06/2017 21:31

My mother is in a home and can't be moved, he understandably wants to stay close. I am not asking what I should do. It's more just the feeling that we are loosing everything that made the UK great. I feel despondent at how inward looking we've become. I was hoping someone would have something positive to say about the future of the uk.

OP posts:

pilates · 02/06/2017 08:47

"I was hoping someone would have something positive to say about the future of the uk"

None of us have got a crystal ball, but I think we need to stay positive and stop the hysteria.

I have never lived in another country and so have nothing to compare but I have been lucky enough to have never experienced racism, plus my experience of the NHS and schools have always been a positive one.

But if you think you can get a better life in Germany with your family then that must be a serious consideration for you (albeit not an easy one).

And I am not rich just working class with a disabled child.

Good luck.

NinonDeLenclos · 02/06/2017 14:57

I think we need to say realistic. I don't see the point of blind optimism in the face of evidence.

user1491572121 · 03/06/2017 07:51

OP...leaving the UK is not an easy thing for anyone. I did it after about 6 years of soul searching.

I'm glad I did it but not because the NHS is dying or any of that....because I love where we live now.

I did it mainly because I worked out that we'd have better chances here...all of us. Professionaly and financially.

scaryteacher · 03/06/2017 15:44

We live abroad, but I can't wait to move back to the UK. We are back late 2019, and I am planning the move already. I am so looking forward to it.

Lasagnabreath · 04/06/2017 01:17

scary why? Am I being too nosey asking lol

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