to think 'I don't drive' is not a valid excuse?

[peppatax]

Two parts to this really, I don't know many adults that don't drive to ask but if you don't drive, can I ask why not?

Second part I guess is if you don't drive, do you expect others to accommodate you or make allowances for you solely on the basis of not driving?

I didn't drive until I was about 30yo.
Mostly because I was terrified after a stupid instructor when I tried at 17yo, but also due to time and money.

I very rarely asked for lifts, sometimes people offered, but as a general rule I only went places I could get to by public transport. People were generally very generous about offering lifts if they saw me getting the bus and I was grateful. I now try to pass it on when I do drive.

People I know don't drive mostly due to medical conditions (epilepsy, sight issues etc) but there are a few who just never learnt and are used to getting public transport so don't see the point.

Before I drove, I only chose to go to things that I could get to myself. This meant sometimes I couldn't get the children to something they wanted to, or we had a very long walk. I've walked a couple of hours with 2 children in the buggy to get to things.
I was surprised how quickly I became dependent on the car and wish in a lot of ways that I hadn't.

The people I know that don't drive don't for alsorts of reasons.

Too nervous to even try and has accepted that they will always use public transport

Lives in central London and uses the tube but does have a license

Illness but had a license

Student who just can't factor the expense into their lives at present

And one person I know just hasn't bothered because none of the women in her family have ever learnt so she just hasn't thought to buck the trend and is quite happy for the men to drive or to bus it every where.

I agree with you OP, I don't have a problem with people that don't drive and I'm happy to go to friends/pick them up to go out but when it's used as an excuse not to do something where they could use public transport for it does get on my nerves!

Example, when I had DS we had to both stay in for a few days due to complications, my OH had flu so he spent half of visiting at home in bed and my mum couldn't come to see me because she "had no one to bring her" same thing with visiting, she wants me to go to her every time and take DS and moans if we don't go but when I say you could come to me her excuse is "I don't have anyone to bring me". If she was that bothered she could have got a taxi to both places but doesn't want to pay out for one but can't grasp that cars aren't free to run!

I know people who drive half a mile to the shops rather than walk, I have always despised such indolence
All day long I see fat people squashed into cars like marshmallows crammed into match boxes

I would like to add, for every "excuse" non-drivers are expected to make, I would like an excuse from every able-bodied driver who drives distances any reasonable person would walk, or the ones who complain about parking when they could bus there instead.

peppa, nondrivers are defensive because they are always always always asked to justify. For you, it's the first time you've wondered, for us it is probably about the 47th time we've been asked. And it is usually asked in such a way as to imply that nondrivers are inferior and often by the people who complain about all the terrible drivers on the road.

Drivers are lazy people who have no claim to the moral high ground...sitting on their arses when they could walk places

I have dyspraxia and can't judge distances.
I can hardly be trusted with a shopping trolley, let alone a car.
Scary thing is if it hadn't been for not being able to reverse around a corner I'd have passed my test. I'm not fit to be on the roads, which makes me realise there must be plenty of others not fit to be on the road for various reasons.
Wouldn't you rather you and your loved ones be safe OP?

My dp doesn't drive, because he genuinely isn't any good at it.

During his lessons and after a few test attempts he came to the conclusion that he'd likely be a danger to anyone else on the road if left on his own (very nervous driver, slow reactions)

I wish more people would admit that they aren't really good at it and stop this attitude that everyone can drive perfectly well.

Some really can't. And instead of taking the test fifty times it would probably be safer and more sensible for them to get lifts,

That really sounds like I'm slagging my dp off. I'm not, I actually think he was quite selfless to admit that to himself

Sister doesn't drive she's late 30s she couldn't afford it. never complains about it, and it's not an inconvenience helping her out.

I didn't drive until recently. I passed my test in March.

The reason I didn't drive was because I was too frightened to. I couldn't afford to learn in my teens (my mum was a single parent and she couldn't afford to pay for lessons/first car either). Had my Dad been alive he would have taught me and paid for lessons though, I'm sure.

Anyhow, I intended to learn after uni and I had got a job. Ha! My first job was one in a claims office where I was taking calls about car accidents every day. It completely put me off. Plus I'm a dizzy bitch at the best of times and the thought of hitting someone terrifies me.

In my defence, I have never relied on anyone for lifts. I always walked or got public transport to places. I have relied on DH at times - but he's my DH and it's his job to run around after me .

Last year we decided we wanted to move a couple of miles away, however the DC are settled in school and I didn't want to move them. The thought of dragging them on a packed bus every day, in the rain, filled me with dread so, at the grand old age of 33, I learned to drive.

I'm shit at it though and sometimes would rather walk.

And I fucking hate parking, sometimes it's easier to get the bus!

Petrol is extortionate too and I hate myself for not being environmentally friendly anymore. I can't wait till the girls go to high school - I'll probably just walk to work.

I don't drive. I can't afford lessons and car.
I don't expect anyone to accommodate my needs.

I don't drive and I'm 49. I don't use it as an excuse and I didn't think I needed an excuse to not drive. It's not compulsory now is it?

I'm a non-driver. It's no-one's business why. I don't moan about it or grovel for lifts. I just get on with it. I am perfectly happy walking, cycling and using taxis and public transport. I don't have to worry about parking or MOTs or not drinking or polluting the place or the cost of owning and running a car. I support small local businesses (cab firms, occasional man-and-van). I ensure I live in locations that suit my lifestyle. Currently in a small town, 10mins walk from both DCs schools and town centre and swimming pool. I wouldn't live in the back of beyond. Kind friends often offer lifts but I generally decline because I don't want to foist my non-driving on them. Also, if I accept a lift, I have to leave when they want or stay until they want to leave. Independent travel gives me freedom to stay or go at will. Sometimes I may use it as an excuse to avoid a boring event or leave early if I'm not enjoying myself. I wouldn't choose a job that involves shifts I would struggle to manage without a car. Just as I wouldn't apply for a job as a brain surgeon without the skills and experience or a job as a violinist if I didn't have the instrument and skill.

OP is confusing not driving with being a whiny lazy fucker.

I don't drive. At 17 I didn't learn to drive a car, I learned to ride a motorbike. I went to university in a city with excellent buses, and in the holidays went back to the rural area I grew up in and used my motorbike to get to my holiday job. I still live in a city, we have no parking outside our flat, and we have such excellent bus routes that we would rarely use a car. Our children walk to school.

My husband drives, and occasionally we will hire a car or borrow my MIL's. Even with hire and petrol, it is a lot less money than buying and insuring a car we would rarely use. Sometimes it takes us longer to get across town because we have to get several buses, but we plan stuff like that. I don't expect people to accommodate me - I am perfectly capable of walking or checking bus timetables. I can carry shopping. If I have a lengthy bus journey I enjoy the time with my ipod and kindle.

If I still lived where I grew up, with a bus that goes through the village every two hours (until stopping early evening) that took me to the local small town where I would just have missed the coach to a bigger town or city, then yes, I would probably need to learn to drive. But at the moment it would be utterly pointless, I don't currently have the cash spare for lessons and I wouldn't be driving regularly so would still be really inexperienced.

i agree with you when you are offering something for free and the person asks if you can deliver "because I dont drive". I simply use the mumsnet complete sentence "No. " Funnily enough they are always the people who wont pay petrol money if you offer to deliver for petrol money. Do non-drivers think cars are free to run?

I would like an excuse from every able-bodied driver who drives distances any reasonable person would walk, or the ones who complain about parking when they could bus there instead.

Absolutely - my friend at uni used to drive up the hill when buses went every 10 minutes, then complained there was no parking and had to park halfway down the hill....WTF is the point.

I'm 33 next month and I've failed my test 3 times. I'm in London so no great rush as the public transport is good and my husband drives. I will get it though at some stage.

even offering petrol money though isnt the point

its still time if its out of your way and stress on you-i would do anything for anyone in an emergency but when it becomes a regular occurence you start thinking why am i doing this

I don't drive because I don't need to and I'd rather use public transport and walk that be responsible for the cost/environmental impact of running a car.
People who drive get lazy imo. I've never had any issue with weight and my kids are healthy and athletic and I think a lot of that is because if a journey is under an hour we tend to walk it.
I've never used not driving as an excuse for anything as far as I can remember yet I've had some of the kids friends over for playdates that have had to be dropped at my house later on as they couldn't possibly walk the 30 minute journey to my house. And these are fully able bodied 8 yo's!

I hate not being able to drive
I would really love to be able to take my dc out to more places but it is just so expensive for lessons.
Then if I ever did pass my test I don't know how I would ever find the extra money for tax/insurance/mot/repairs.

Of course nondrivers don't think cars are free to run. In fact, several upthread have cited the expense of a car as why they don't drive and they have all been careful to say they don't expect or ask for lifts. I forgot to say in my pp that I don't expect or ask for lifts either. Most of us don't.

In fact I actually find it annoying a lot of the time when I'm offered a lift. People seem offended if I say 'no thanks, I'd rather get the exercise'.

It's like any other skill, not everyone can do it and not everyone wants to.

I'm 60 don't drive, never have, but did take lessons. Hated it so much had panic attacks. It has caused a lot of inconvenience to me in my life and cost me jobs. But its my problem most of the time. The only person I inconvenience is my husband as he can't drink when we go out if driving so I don't usually either. I wish it weren't the case but it is and after 40 odd years together he knows it isnt going to change.

I don't drive. I don't want to. I had 3 lessons and I was shit at it. I don't want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on something I don't like that is not necessary to me.

I don't ask for lifts anywhere. My work, DS's nursery, local shops are all within walking distance. I walk everywhere, rain or shine. If I need to venture further out there is a good bus service and a train station 10 minutes away from my house. I'd get a taxi if need be.