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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think it's not my problem

244 replies

Doodlebug5 · 23/05/2017 12:50

My parents bought DP and me a house many moons ago. We decided at the beginning of this year to sell up and look for a new house. We found a buyer they were a respectable couple in their late 20's and we found a new build. The couple wanted to move in when their tenancy ended so DP and me packed up and moved home to my parents as new build won't be ready yet.

I was very friendly with my neighbours have got their numbers and have been out for dinner with them countless times.

So since we have moved out I've been getting daily messages about the new couple. Apparently lots of loud parties drinking in the street, drugs etc. I've told her she needs to call the police and she's saying no I need to sort it. I have countless times said no it wasn't even my house technically and once we completed legally I/my parents have nothing to do with it. She's now threatening legal action against me (have told her to get on with it) but is there/would there be any reason for me to have anything to do with this? I don't think she fully understands the buying process on a house and is asking why I didn't get references.

I suspect she's using me as a scapegoat for other things /stresses in her life that are going on.

Not really sure how to save this friendship and don't think I can

OP posts:

zzzzz · 23/05/2017 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Doodlebug5 · 23/05/2017 14:36

Really surreal. She's not a stupid woman either.

Maybe I haven't made myself clear. Maybe I could have been clearer... lots of maybes

Or maybe her issues have clouded everything and she is lashing out but I don't want to be her outlet

OP posts:

Funnyface1 · 23/05/2017 14:37

Please let us know if she replies, this is so strange.

mistermagpie · 23/05/2017 14:40

In her defence I have had nightmare neighbours and they can be life-ruining while you're in the thick of it. Mine were renters and I did get into some tricky conversations with the landlord, but he wasn't a friend so things were more straightforward.

It's possible she misunderstood what happened with your property or is just desperate and lashing out at you. It would be a shame to lose a friendship over this as it sounds like she could use a friend (although not if she's going to blame you for your purchasers behaviour obviously!).

Greyponcho · 23/05/2017 14:43

Why fork out for a solicitor when you can just block her number?

Original poster

Doodlebug5 · 23/05/2017 14:44

Grey

I wouldn't fork out for a solicitor it would only be if she persisted with this that I would.

My fMIL happens to be a solicitor which works out nicely.

OP posts:

Original poster

Doodlebug5 · 23/05/2017 14:46

But a solicitor would be the very very last resort.

OP posts:

CoraPirbright · 23/05/2017 14:47

This is so weird. Does your ex-neighbour own or rent her own house? In either case, she must have an inkling of what this means. I think she is just really frustrated wth the situation and flailing around trying to fix on someone who can solve the problem.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 23/05/2017 14:49

If she says anything further, one last message "Are you hard of understanding? Not. My. House. Now. Not. My. Problem. 999 is the number you need. I am now blocking you"

Let's face it the friendship is over anyway.

metalmum15 · 23/05/2017 14:50

Sounds like she's just passing the buck to me. She obviously doesn't want to have to go through the whole council /noise nuisance thing. She wouldn't be taking you to court, no solicitor would take her on as there's no case!

metalmum15 · 23/05/2017 14:50

melj1213 · 23/05/2017 14:53

Honestly I'd have just kept sending a message along the lines of

"Hi former neighbour, we sold the house and therefore the new owners' behaviour is not my responsibility. Please do not contact me about them again. If you have an issue, I suggest you talk to the home owners or the relevant authorities as it is not my business. Thanks"

NotHotDogMum · 23/05/2017 14:55

What @melj1213 said

zzzzz · 23/05/2017 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinselTwins · 23/05/2017 15:05

I think you've been giving long winded garbled replies:

"We don't own it any more, we sold it"

DonttouchthatLarry · 23/05/2017 15:24

I had this when I sold my mum's house. The young man who bought it rented it out and the tenants were causing trouble so mum's old neighbour (lady in her 70's) kept ringing me about it. I had to be quite firm with her in the end and say that although I sympathised it was absolutely nothing to do with me. Haven't heard from her for months now, thank goodness!

TheMysteriousJackelope · 23/05/2017 15:25

A friend wouldn't threaten you with law suits so the friendship cruise left the dock some time ago.

Just for curiosity, have you asked her what exactly she expects you to do about it?

PodgeBod · 23/05/2017 15:26

The friendship was over when she threatened to take you to court, really. She doesn't sound very nice anyway- she doesn't want to go to the police or court but she thinks she can browbeat you into sorting it out

ohfourfoxache · 23/05/2017 15:27

If she responds then just keep any response from you very, very simple.

Avoid technically, legally etc.

A simple "we sold the house, it is no longer ours and there is nothing we can do about the new owners" will suffice.

But yes, unfortunately the friendship is over.

Weatherforecaster · 23/05/2017 15:32

How bizarre. Has she replied?

DeadGood · 23/05/2017 15:34

"I had this when I sold my mum's house. The young man who bought it rented it out and the tenants were causing trouble so mum's old neighbour (lady in her 70's) kept ringing me about it."

I suppose the thing is, people live in a place for a long time, and get used to things being a certain way. Then their neighbour sells up and a bew, less harmonious family moves in. The people who remain in the neighbourhood haven't done anything but all of a sudden, their lives are changed for the worse. And who caused this unpleasant change? The person who decided to sell their place!

For an old person, I can see why they would lash out in the only direction they understood, if that makes sense?

Doesn't make it right, but I can sort of see why it happens

OP, please update us! Your neighbour sounds like she doesn't really have an excuse.

I do agree that your language is misleading though

GinSwigmore · 23/05/2017 15:37

The 10th May is very recent. When did they actually move in before completion? Or has this only been happening for thee last two weeks?
If she has been complaining for months, she thought you were acting as a Landlord. If she has been complaining for a fortnight, she's bonkers.

Original poster

Doodlebug5 · 23/05/2017 15:54

No reply. I will update when I do.

I moved out on the 6th spent 8th cleaning and the new people moved in on the 10th.

The texts started the night after. It literally has been two weeks. I don't have any other neighbours numbers to ask if it's really that bad.

Her house was originally her parents but her mum died when she was 20 or so and her dad died a couple of years ago so it's her house now. She's late 30's and lives with her partner who I haven't heard a peep from in all of this.!

I agree I wasn't very clear in the OP apologies about that but hopefully I have made it clear to her now and that's that.

OP posts:

NotISaidTheWalrus · 23/05/2017 16:15

If she inherited her house and you were given yours, perhaps neither of you know much about house buying and selling and you have and are both rather confused/confusing.

FancyThatFenceEdge · 23/05/2017 16:56

Text

"Fuck off" and block.

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