To ask MIL to stop buying "daddy's little...." clothes for my son

[lavei]

She buys him new outfits every week and they all say 'I love my daddy' and 'daddy's little hero', 'gorgeous just like my dad' etc.
Erm, excuse me, what about me?!

Take them back to the shop and exchange for
My mummy is a fox..... etc

If it were just once in a while it would be easier. Instead of focussing on the silly slogans - try to say he's really got enough clothes for now and encourage her to either buy nothing for a while, or something he and you would actually find useful. Maybe a chat about how lovely some little ones in the public eye look in their (NON SLOGAN) clothes. Can you imagine Katherine putting hers in slogan togs??

I'm casting my mind back to when I had my babies, I think in those days we were happy for any gifts as we were counting the pennies.
I think nowadays people have more disposable income so have more than enough clothes for their children. They can afford to be picky whereas we weren't back in the '80s.
Therefore I don't think it's anything personal in new mothers not liking the gifts it's just a sign of changing times.

I and many mothers of my generation had the luxury of being stay at home mothers but the downside of that was having to be very thrifty!
Today's mothers have two incomes going into the home so don't need anyone let alone MIL buying "stuff" for their kids.
One of my DIL is forever having clear outs of unused gifts, she has no space for it all.

My GC are much loved and they are always asking to come visit, but I spend very little on them money wise. I make them their favourite food and play with them, they seem happy with that.

Gosh, talk about passive aggressive!

@mantlepeice* I think you'll find the average family with two working parents are spending exorbitant amounts of cash on nursery, childminders, breakfast and after school clubs.... not sure who has endless disposable incomes these days? (Perhaps your DIL notwithstanding)

I would ask your DP to ask her in the nicest possible way to stop buying so many clothes, as DS doesn't need them. Every week is way too much anyway, even if you did like the clothes, he doesn't need that many. If she doesn't get the message then there's always eBay. Also if she never sees your DS wearing the clothes she has bought, she might get the message.

This used to really upset me, it was always Daddy's little this and that, and yes a couple are cute but Every sodding one!?! But to be honest my hubby loved it and the smile on his face was worth it. I don't think YABU but if it makes your partner happy, just let it go.

I think nowadays people have more disposable income so have more than enough clothes for their children. They can afford to be picky whereas we weren't back in the '80s.
Therefore I don't think it's anything personal in new mothers not liking the gifts it's just a sign of changing times

Nowadays a lot of grandparents have more disposable income than sense. Back in the 80s grandparents bought grandkids one present for birthdays and one present for christmas - bully for you being grateful for one or two carefully selected gifts - it's easier to be grateful when you're not being inundated with more gifts than you can use/store! It's like supermarket flippin sweep for some GPs these days!

It is not that parents have money to buy their own outfits for babies. The OP isn't being picky about one more item of clothing, she's complaining about too many of the same thing!

Today's mothers have two incomes going into the home so don't need anyone let alone MIL buying "stuff" for their kids
nobody , one income or two, needs a new baby outfit gift every week

She's a very sweet lady who has several younger sisters who've all become grandparents before she has. My DP is the youngest of her children and I think she was starting to think she would never be a grandparent and it was killing her! She was so desperate! .... She has health issues which means she is very reliant on others and also isolated during the day when FIL goes to work so she has time to think, shop online etc.

This could have been written about my MIL!!
She was super excited to become a Nana and loves our kids so much. We did have to be firm with boundaries when the DC were younger (she tried to feed our son cupcakes and biscuits at

They're really not to my taste and I feel almost embarrassed putting my son in them, but he gets bought soooo many of them, I can't justify not using them!

The only time either of my children ever wore a tee-shirt with a slogan relating to either 'mummy' or 'daddy' was when my DS (12) was maybe 5 or 6 and there were a few hiccups with my ex trying to convince our son that he had to call my ex's new wife "Mummy" (DS was horribly confused and panicked for a while that if he had "a new Mummy", what was I to him?!). And so, I had a tee-shirt made which had the slogan, in big, bold, stand out letters "Do NOT Mess With My Mummy!" on it. He only wore it once. He only needed to wear it the once. I've known my ex since we were 11 years old - and I knew he'd get the message immediately (we prefer not to communicate face-to-face, as it upsets our son when we do).

Yes, it was passive-aggressive on my part, but it did the trick. There was no more talk of DS calling his stepmother (who is a lovely woman, by the way, who genuinely loves my son and is far better with him than my ex is) "Mummy", and no more confusion on DS' part. Which was my goal.

Although, OP, I think your future-MIL is just trying to establish a connection between your baby and your partner. The clothes are, I think, designed to be purchased by the proud/doting 'mummies' and 'daddies' to express their own "he is my hero!", "she is my princess!" opinions/thoughts/belief systems. I know a lot of grandmothers do buy them, though, because they're (a) excited, (b) proud, (c) trying to establish a connection - in their own heads, or in their extended families heads, or even for social reasons generally - between father and baby. There is no doubt that you are Mum, as far as your future-MIL is concerned... and she doesn't want anyone to doubt that your partner is the baby's Dad, so, this is what she does. Tacky as it is. And a little passive-aggressive. But if she thinks, for whatever reason, that you'll leave her son and deny him/her access to your baby...? Even though she's a lovely woman, you say, this may be her subconciously saying: "this baby belongs, partially, to my son and is my beloved grandchild... look, his babygro/tee-shirt states this fact!".

Have a tshirt made saying "daddy's little fucker" put it on him when she's next round and when she comments on it say "it's one of the ones you bought him isn't it?"

Or just take them back, or use them for messy playtimes

@lavei She's told me loads of times she thinks of him as 'hers' and that she misses him when he goes home and that it's harder for grandparents because they feel like parents who aren't allowed to parent which just makes me feel bad

is your MIL my MIL? she's told me numerous times that my kids are hers and that being a grandparent is just like having another chance at being a parent. I almost pointed out that if she was that shit once, it's highly likely she'll be that shit again so no thanks.

I (jokingly) offered to let her pay the nursery bill to see what it was really like being their mum but sadly she refused that honour. now she just buys them tat every time she sees them and the idiot, sorry husband, says he needs to pick his moment to have the sensitive conversation with her about not spoiling them with gifts.

You can adopt my tack of saying thank you so much, its really kind of you to buy insert child here these clothes, but we really don't need anything right now. maybe you'd like to pop £1 in his moneybox instead or we can let you know when we do need something (and then NEVER EVER tell them you need stuff)

It would be weird on a girl but I guess this is her being excited about being a Grandma. It's pretty usual on a boy, although annoying.