To ask MIL to stop buying "daddy's little...." clothes for my son

[lavei]

She buys him new outfits every week and they all say 'I love my daddy' and 'daddy's little hero', 'gorgeous just like my dad' etc.
Erm, excuse me, what about me?!

I totally agree with picking your battles but I will say this...

Start as you mean to go on

In other words, nip things in the bud if she starts crossing too many boundaries. If you don't discreetly address the small stuff you may well find larger battles become of it.

That said, it sounds as if you've been doing this by pointing out that your DP is her baby and DC is YOUR baby. Carry on doing that if needed.

As for clothes.... return for gift cards and buy what you like instead. Or charity bag them. Say DC threw up and ruined them if she asks

I am sitting next to a build a bear wearing the first cardigan I knitted for DD! Its teeny and I love seeing him in it :)

that she misses him when he goes home and that it's harder for grandparents because they feel like parents who aren't allowed to parent

Nonsense.

We breathe a sigh of relief as everything is calm and quiet again!

Whenever she sees the child make sure he's wearing all about mummy's clothes.

Less worried about the slogan t shirts.

Massive alarms bells on MIL thinking baby is hers

Baby DS has a top, Daddy's little wing man. I think its cute

Nonsense. We breathe a sigh of relief as everything is calm and quiet again!

LOL. Yep! Can relate to this! I restore the place to somewhere that is not sticky, messy and full of half eaten meals and drinks and then usually go to bed for a nap!

I'd be pretty annoyed about the multiple 'daddy' slogan t shirts too. One, ok, but several? Can your OH have a quiet word, or get his dad to have an even quieter word in her ear? Taken in contact with the other things you've said about her trying to take ownership of the baby, far from picking my battles, I'd be drawing a line in the sand early before it gets out of hand. (Probably not in a confrontational way at this stage, but definitely making the point.)

Or you could fight fire with fire with this 'oh but I thought you liked slogans on clothes' 😁

My MIL doesn't buy these things either. I don't think I would mind if she did though, as they don't bother me. The clothes that bother me are the shorts meant for little girls that have 'candy' or 'cherry' or 'sweet' or whatever printed across the bum. I'd burn something like that if it was given to either of my DDs.

Why not get your partner to use them to clean the windows, then he can just happen to be using one when she is there?

I have been a Granny for 4 months and 2 days. I would love to buy 'daddy's little whatever' clothes but I'm always so worried that dil will think I'm shutting her out or something so I always buy the Mummy ones : ( I was so excited that my son was finally going to be a Daddy and maybe that's just how your mil feels and wants to shout it from the rooftops x

does your DP know this bothers you? (is he/would he be sympathetic?)

if yes, can you get him to speak to his mum instead -- ask her not to buy so many clothes like this, as it undermines your role in DD's life?

if HE points this out, then maybe it wouldn't sound as defensive as it would coming from you?

Bit of an overreaction .. They're kids clothes for heavens sake it's hardly likevtgeyre walking round with swear words on them .

Iwanttobeagranny just buy one for your dgc! Your DIL won't mind at all unless she is a massive dick. Just make sure you buy one, not 50

WinglessPegasus - why do you write in blank verse?

No YANBU.
Totally agree with Trb17. Nip this in the bud now. Saying this as I have teens and all I get from MIL is how they get their kindness, generosity, good looks, slim figures etc etc from their Dad.

Are you mad? Don't you know you had very little to do with making your child? Says anyone with inlaws....My MIL told me so many times that my newborn/toddler/teen looks the spit of his dad, she gave up with number two and declared he does not look like anyone we know. Um, hello, he looks like me!

My friend had to deal with her DD receiving a top from her MIL that said 'Sorry boys, Daddy says no dating until I'm 21!'

I was amazed by her restraint in just accepting it and putting it away. I would have burned it and MIL

YANBU - really annoying slogans.

Use them as polishing cloths.

Don't put them in the charity box or some other poor kid will have to walk around with that sort of nonsense plastered all over him!

my sister gave me some advice. .I'm on my first she's had 5 all kinds of ages. She said do you remember any of the experiences YOU had with our grandparents? I said yes. She then said can you remember any conversations or advice? ....Er nope....there she said but I bet you remember in detail those with dad and mum. yup.... you see she said kids love their grandparents but sadly only what dad and mum says do are really etched into kids! so I relaxed...

Yes iwanttobe a granny , I'm a MIL it's a learning curve for sure! I used to buy stuff for first GS but quickly realised my taste wasn't fashionable. I do think they went to charity shop!

I don't buy anything now as it is really a waste of money, you can enjoy your grandkids without buying stuff for them, don't stress just spend time with them, that is something that money just can't buy.

Massive overreaction. How is it undermining your role in your child's life. Just tell her you are the mum if it bothers you.

Littlemummy that's so true :) My stock reply to GC wanting to do something/buy something that may be a bit against house style is, "Well, we'll ask Mummy/Daddy and see what they think." I love that I'm not responsible for making the rules and can hand any decisions I'm doubtful about, right back. And if DM/DF are out, it's "Well, we'll leave that for now and see what they think when they come home. It's very liberating.

Yabu. She's not buying them with any malice intended. She's being kind. Put them on him when she's there. Back of the cupboard when she's not.

Get over yourself it's free clothes!! Are you really that insecure???? baffled by this post. Clearly I don't have mother in law issues but if I get a daughter in law like you one day I'll be vexed for sure!