to be fed up of this aggressive baking

[JHMJHM]

DH comes home at least once a month with yet another bakery offering from a woman he works with. I don't get when this became a thing? He defends it by saying how 'nice' it is and that she just likes 'making cakes' but I find it fucking odd and it really irks me.

To be honest I am queasy over other peoples baked goods- and I am sick of seeing her brownies seeping over my work surfaces. I don't get it at all and it boils my piss that DH cant see that it is WIERD. Why do people think they need to invest the time (and expense!) into feeding them their foul cakes? Its not like my DH is ill or thin, he is pretty robust.

Well, we receive weekly offerings of baked good at work.

It is bloody lovely and we all look forward to Wednesdays

Nothing weird about it IMO.

You reaction to this makes me wonder why you feel so threatened by this? Do you feel criticised for not baking?? Do you feel the baking woman is saying something about you by giving your DH brownies??

Your reacting is far more about you than about cakes IMO.

reaction
Sorry.

You are being unreasonable and a bit odd.
My gran loved to bake, it was her main form of relaxation, then she had to find people to offload it on... It makes me smile to remember it now.

A lady at work frequently bakes cakes for people, or just to share at work. She struggles to sleep at night and gets up and bakes rather than lying there worrying.

Really it's no big deal, do you think she fancies your husband op?

You're an absolute nut plated loon. And a nasty piece of work.

This has been of much use. I have discussed this with DH. I realise that I have no clue about modern offices and I think the feminist in me finds it kind of fucking weird that the highly intelligent professional women he works with have embraced this role. He says it is not just Mrs Bake Off- load of the females in his team bring in baked goods. I asked him if the female partners do (he works for a big corporate) and surprise surprise- they don't. Which rightly or wrongly confirms by niggling instinct that this bakery frenzy is a bit unprofessional and not indulged in at the upper echelons of, at least, the business he works in.

Needmoresleep sorry didn't see your post. Yes, that's how I realised my colleague had an eating disorder, it took me years to cotton on though, and then I felt guilty eating the cake!

I think most people who like baking though just either like to share, or they don't want to get fat(ter) but still want to bake, so bring it in for that reason. Even I do this occasionally if I have too many cakes/biscuits given say for a party, and I don't want us as a family to eat them all, I take them into work so they are shared between 30/40 people. It is a form of sharing the sugar/fat load!

Quiche sounds good though.

I have no idea if she fancies DH. Maybe? I don't think so but either way, I just dont want the cakes.

Um Im not depriving him and Im not controlling. Just dont want anymore cake. My house is a tip enough as it is without a regular dose of sticky tupperware and ever hardening fruit scones perched on my surfaces.

But it's his house too. And he likes the cake. And eats it. If he didn't bring the cake home from work would he ever get any? I can actually imagine him saying to colleague 'oh this is lovely. JHM doesn't like cake and never bakes, so this is a treat!' And there's nothing sexual in it for either of them, he's not dissing you to her, he's just saying. And she likes baking so it's nice to have an appreciative audience - which is the whole office but includes DH.

Either you're very controlling, or jealous, or irrational about cake. Just let him enjoy it.

You don't want the cakes, don't eat the cakes.

You cannot affect change to what goes on in your DH's office though.

In the words of Frozen 'let it go'.

do blokes ever bring in cakes?

Good point . There is something a little bit "1950s I know my place" about women bringing in cake all the time. Not good from a professional pov.

cory- because it is my house and I dont want loads of cake in it all the time.

But it's also your husband's house, and he clearly does.

Hey now! I bake a lot! I enjoy doing it with the kids as an activity. But neither me or DH have a sweet tooth at all. Give us a pile of crisps or nuts and we're all over them.

Still don't want the cake!

Not RTFT but astounded by some of the initial replies to this thread.

YANBU, once or twice I could see as being friendly but you've got to ask the question why she would continuously make the effort to bake home made cakes especially for your DH. Obviously a little more context may be needed for example if they are made and anyone on the team gets to take some home etc.

Actually it's you that is hung up on it being 50s housewife behaviour.

We have bake sales where the male boss bakes as well. If you are a feminist can't you accept that it doesn't belittle her to bake, she's doing something she likes and gives pleasure to others just not you

I think you may have all kinds of issues but probably better not to pretend you 'don't understand' why people do something they enjoy as it doesn't make you look great tbh

not indulged in the upper echelons

I think my eyes just rolled out of my head

OP, what is weird is you thinking this is weird. You say you get hobbies - this is just another hobby that happens to result in producing things that people like to eat, and which the baker can't eat all by herself. It's a perfect synergy. When our office cake baker left, we practically went into mourning, though we did get quite a lot thinner.

Can I just say that I love that you used the phrase 'aggressive baking'?
I have visions of some pissed off hausfrau banging around in the kitchen, putting baking trays down too hard and generating clouds of flour out of sheer huffiness...

I wonder if Channel 4 Bake Off will have a round called Aggressive Baking?

I admit to occasionally partaking in Aggressive Baking myself, mainly when trying to get to grips with a bloody piping bag.

So interesting- this cult of baking is such that people assume you have an eating disorder if you dare to say you just aren't that into cake. My sister experienced this in her office too- she has no sweet tooth and is slim (she can make short work of a pasty though-like me, is a savoury person), and the women she worked with kind of harangued her, so disbelieving were they that she JUST DIDNT LIKE CAKE.

Blokes definitely bring in cake for our bake sales
That's different. They're not doing it to 'please' people. Whereas it sounds as if seeping brownie lady is trying to please people through food.. Fine at home , but not at work.

Just an aside - cake freezes really well. Any left over or gifted cake that I get goes straight into the freezer and then the kids (and DP) will sometimes have 'cakey custard' as a treat for pudding.

I think the only reason to get thecrage about baked goods is if you feel you have to eat them when you don't want to. Cake crumbled on the lawn is also very much appreciated by lots of small creatures.

Hey OP. Baking is the best thing since, er, sliced bread. Embrace it.

Yes, in my office the blokes do bring in cake. But it's always been baked by their girlfriends. That I do find fecking irritating! There was a little period when they all strolled in with their girlfriends cakes. Grrr

Ritual? She enjoys baking, people in the office like cakes. What's not to get? You are being very odd

No I completely get that my 'feminist' principals are way out of date. Very 90s and old fashioned I know that. Just hard to ignore the deep rooted associations between women and baking and I am genuinely curious to know whether men and senior people of both genders in offices do this.

I know some of you have cited examples so thanks for that.